Kazumi Nishimiya 1

"I longed those moments," is written on the book I'm currently reading, "those moments of calm before the storm. Even when we were about to fight and argue, I felt exited; we were so passionate those days, we were so alive, we cared so much we could yell and cry and destroy our own home with meaningless arguments, only to blind ourselves for everything else, for the life that was consuming us, that was distancing us."

"We don't say a word now—we never did when it mattered, and that's why I was so hurtful when we just stop seeing each other without any warning or any disclosure, but with many, many disillusions—words would only get in our way, now we let our stares speak at each other, we let the passion burn us alive as it always did before, when we were young and alive; we savor the moment, the longly awaited moment. Our clothes are heavier and heavier, and out hearts beat faster and faster..."

"I rush to her and hug her and touch her, and her skin now's thin and wrinkled, her body is smaller and weaker, but her grasp is as hard as mine. She's not the woman I fell in love then—and I'm glad; I'm tired of living out of only memories, I'm tired of clinging to a woman that doesn't exist anymore. She now has a life over her shoulders—family, kids, grandkids, you name it—, but so do I. We are now a couple of strangers that just want to learn to live again—to love again—guided by memories and experience, by passion and nostalgia, by fear and excitement."

"And we still have time, we're still alive, so now I hold her and kiss her and—

"Izumi-san, can you help me out with this?" ask Hamano-san without taking her eyes off the screen. She's truly beautiful. Her hands are warm and soft, her voice's calm and sweet, her eyes bright but sad, and her face is simply perfect.

Natsumura-san's reading what it seems to be a manga—now that I mention it, there's a bunch of manga mixed with the books Hamano-san uses as consulting material—and, after hearing Hamano-san's indications, puts a piece of paper where she's currently reading, closes her manga and stares at Hamano-san. She seems slightly mad.

"CHAN! IZUMI-CHAN! CALL ME IZUMI-CHAN AND I'LL HELP YOU!"

Hamano-san stops typing and sighs.

"Izumi-chan, look for anything about Louis XIV."

"Sure thing, Sotoka-chan, but I'll owe you a big, big hug."

Natsumura-san puts her manga on a pile of books Hamano-san's not using; then, she takes the pile and proceeds to get up; and last, she walks to where Yamamoto-san is and drops the books near her face, causing a lot of noise.

She gets up very upset.

"What's wrong with you?!"

"Help me out."

"No! I've already done my part!"

"Help me out!" Natsumura-san takes Yamamoto-san by the shoulder and starts shaking her violently. "Come on! You're just lying there!"

Yamamoto-san shoves Natsumura-san's hand off.

"Stop it!"

"No! Help me out! Math homework was super easy! I bet you didn't took even 5 minutes to do it!"

"So?! You were the one who chose the research!"

"Well, yeah, but I just wanted to be alone with Sotoka-chan to give her all the hugs I owe her!"

"Like I care! And, besides, she doesn't like your annoying hugs, anyway!"

"Are you done yet?!" Asks Hamano-san sharply.

Both Yamamoto-san and Natsumura-san immediately pick up some books and start working on their Louis XIV research.

And I should stop poking around other people's business and resume my reading.

"I longed those moments of calm before the storm. Even when we were about to fight and argue, I felt exited; we were so passionate those days, we were so alive, we cared so much we could yell and cry and destroy our own home with meaningless arguments, only to blind ourselves for everything else, for the life that was consuming us, that was distancing us."

"Are you done yet?" Asks Hamano-san.

"No, but I have a little bit of info," replies Natsumura-san.

"Whatever, let me see what you have."

"Ok, just let me write this down" Natsumura-san starts writing franticly, and I take this moment of silence to continue with my reading.

"Wow! It was about time you wrote something legible," says Yamamoto-san loudly.

Natsumura-san gives Yamamoto-san an annoyed look.

"Shut up. I know how to write. And I wrote this with my pretty handwriting 'cause it's for Sotoka-chan."

"So, why don't you just write everything as it was for Sotoka-san?"

"'Cause it takes time and love to write this pretty."

Yamamoto-san laughs.

"Pretty? That ain't pretty at all. And if that expresses your love for Sotoka-san, it isn't really that big of a deal, is it?"

Natsumura was furious.

"SHUT UP, YOU ROTTEN HEARTED IMP! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOVE! YOU'LL DIE THE SAME WAY AS YOU LIVE: ALONE AND ANGRY! AND IS NOT LIKE YOU CAN WRITE BETTER! GIMME!" Natsumura-san takes Yamamoto-san's notebook and watches it closely.

And I continue with my reading.

"I longed those moments of calm before the storm. Even when we were about to fight and argue, I felt exi—

"What's this?" Asks Natsumura-san

"Oh, nothing, just a report that's way better than yours, written with a handwriting that's way better than yours."

"Nuh-huh," Natsumura-san turns towards Sotoka-san. "Sotoka-chan, my handwriting's way better than hers, right?"

Sotoka-san, without taking her eyes off the screen, extended her hand, and Natsumura-san gave her both her notebook and Yamamoto-san's.

Because Sotoka-san doesn't realize that she's about to receive both notebooks, she takes them but drops them immediately.

"Izumi, why didn't you told me you were giving me both?"

"Gomen'nasai, Sotoka-chan."

Sotoka-san takes both notebooks and, after closing some of her books and putting them aside, puts them close to her and starts to read them.

I can also see them.

[INO'S WORK.jpg in the first comment]

[IZUMI'S WORK.jpg in the first comment]

"Both are the same, and both say the same things," Hamano-san says, and I agree with her.

And continue with my reading.

"I longed—

Sotoka-chan starts typing again and, without taking her eyes off the screen and takes one of the notebooks.

"Here," she returns the notebook to Natsumura-san

And continue with my reading.

"those—

"Ha!" Natsumura-san drops the notebook she just received to in front of Yamamoto-san. "She kept my notes."

"Excuse me," I say as kindly as I can, "could you be quiet? I'm trying to read."

"Ok," Yamamoto-san takes her notebook and puts it in front of Natsumura-san. "So you'll write, then."

"No, you lost, you write," Natsumura-san takes the notebook and tries to give it back to Yamamoto-san, but she rejects it.

"Hey, I'm trying to read here."

"No, you're one with the pretty handwriting. You write."

"No! You!"

"Are you done yet?" Asks Sotoka-san and, just as last time, both Yamamoto-san and Natsumura-san immediately pick up some books and resume working on their Louis XIV research.

Thanks, Hamano-san.

And I continue my reading.

"I longed those moments of calm before the storm. Even when we were about to—

But someone knocks at the door. Maybe it's on the next study room.

"I longed those moments of calm before the—

But someone knocks at the door again. Hamano-san turns towards it, and I, because Hamano-san has been so kind with me today, get up and head towards the door.

"I'll get it, Hamano-san."

"Oh, thanks, Nishimiya-san," Hamano-san smiles at me dimly and continues with her report.

I open the door, and there's Suzuki-san, the librarian, on the other side.

"It's almost 8, Kazumi-chan," she tells me. She's always being so nice with me.

"Yes, thanks a lot, Suzuki-san," I reply.

Suzuki-san heads to the next study room to tell whoever's still here library's about to close.

I proceed to close the door and turn towards Yamamoto-san, Hamano-san and Natsumura-san. They are too busy with their report to notice me.

"Excuse me," I say, but they don't even hear me. "Excuse me!" I yell, but no answer. "HEY!"

Maybe I exaggerated a bit since they turned to me immediately, and they look visibly shocked.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I do a reverence after another, even though one is enough, but I was really mean and cold and they're only doing their report, they don't deserve to be yelled at; I screwed it up, and they're probably mad at me, and they'll never speak to me again, and how can I blame them? I, a complete stranger, yelled at—

"Hey, hey, Nishimiya-san," Hamano-san puts her hand over my shoulder. "It's ok."

I stop my reverences.

"Thanks, Hamano-san."

"So, who was that lady?"

"Suzuki-san. She told me library's about to close."

"Who's Suzuki-san?" Asks Natsumura-san, and her question surprises me, to be honest, because, of all of us, Natsumura-san's who deals with her the most.

"Suzuki-san's the librarian."

"Oh, and how do you know?"

"She told me once."

"Really? And why hasn't she told me?"

"Why will she tell you that? She totally hates you," says Yamamoto-san.

"Well, that's her problem," Natsumura-san rises her voice. "I'm not like noisy or anything."

"Hey, just grab your stuff, and we'll go to a café or something to keep working on this," Hamano-san had already closed the laptop, all books and grabbed all her stuff.

Yamamoto-san and Natsumura-san started to pick all their stuff.

I put my bookmark where I stopped reading, even if I didn't advance even a single page, and I close the book. It's the library's property, but luckily nobody reads it, so I can put a bookmark on it without worrying someone will take it off.

We leave the study room and we head to the library's exit. There Hamano-san gives Suzuki-san some of the books she was using, and she proceeds with the corresponding loan procedures.

When Suzuki-san finishes, she gives the books back to Hamano-san, and we get out of the library. We, then, continue our path until we arrive to the locker room.

Each one of us approaches her respective locker, opens it, takes off her slippers and puts their shoes on.

Nobody talks.

"And when's your report due?" I ask because, even though I spent all the afternoon with them, I was so cold and mean the only time I spoke to them I ended up yelling at them.

"Due tomorrow," says Hamano-san overwhelmed.

"And since when you have it?"

They looked at themselves puzzled.

"On… monday?" Asks Yamamoto-san.

Natsumura-san shruggs.

"I think so," says Hamano-san.

"What day is it?" asks Natsumura-san.

"Thursday," answers Hamano-san.

"Already? And why didn't we started earlier?" Asks Yamamoto-san.

"I think is because Izumi was kicked out of the anime club on Monday, and we've been pretty busy since then" replies Hamano-san.

"Oh, yeah, I totally forgot about it," says Natsumura-san.

And she yells:

"SOTOKA-CHAN!" and hugs Hamano-san, and Hamano-san yells, and Natsumura-san keeps yelling. "I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DI—

"Shut up, Izumi," Yamamoto-san interrupts her.

"You shut up! And I was just talking with Sotoka-chan!" Natsumura-san then turns to Hamano-san. "SOTOKA-CHAN, I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DI—

"Put your shoes already, Izumi-san; we're not done with the investigation yet."

Nastumura-san seems heartbroken, but she still lets go of Hamano-san and continues putting her shoes on.

They then get up and head to the school's entrance. And I, because of my tendency of listening to other people's conversations, haven't still put on my shoes yet.

They get farther and farther away from me.

"And despite all that, we haven't got anyone," says Yamamoto-san.

"Well, we'll stay here tomorrow after class," says Hamano-san. "We've already agreed, right?"

"Wait, no! That's just a waste of time!"

"So, what do we do, then?"

"Uh, uh, what about a list of who haven't joined any club?"

"We already tried it, but that █████ Fujimoto didn't help us."

"Yes, but we can make it on our own."

"And how are we supposed to do that?"

"We can start with our classmates."

They are about to leave, but Sotoka-san stops and turns towards me.

"Bye, Nishimiya-san. Thanks for everything and sorry for the inconveniences.

Yamamoto-san and Natsumura-san also turn towards me and wave their hands to say good-bye.