Bonus chapter: Izumi Natsumura 6.5
¡GROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Ouch, my belly, but I go down the stairs as fast as I can and run to our classroom and get in and head to my desk and:
"WHAT DID I TOLD YOU ABOUT RUNNING AND YELLING?!" Nagai-san grabs me by the shoulder.
"LET ME EAT, NAGAI-SAN, LOOK: I'LL GIVE YOU HALF OF MY SANDWICH IF YOU LET ME EAT!" I take out a sandwich (the last one I have) from my backpack, open it and give her half.
"Really? Well, thanks," she says, "I didn't have anything to eat, and as thinking to get something at the cafeteria. But you saved me. But still you can't run and yell at school, so stop it or I'LL BE WORSE FOR YOU," Nagai-san threatens me and leaves.
And I eat the remaining half of my sandwich (the last one I have).
Now I take out a bag of chips and:
"Ok, everyone, sit down, and let's continue where we left," Horinomi-sensei gets in, takes her book, opens it and starts to write on the chalkboard. God dammit, Horinomi-sensei, I only need 5 minutes to eat my chips. ¡5! Or at least 2. I can eat a bag of chips in 2 minutes. "So, in the 11th year of the Edo period, Tokugawa Ieyasu…" Horinomi-sensei will continue like this for the who-knows-how-many hours, and what I'm gonna do? I can't stay this hungry all class long. I have to eat something, even in class, but I have to eat something, but I only have chips, and chips make a lot of noise, and if I open a bag Horinomi-sensei'll hear me out, and she's gonna scold me and take 'em away, and I'll take out another bag and open it, and Horinomi-sensei'll hear me out, and she's gonna take 'em away, and so on and so on.
So the only thing I need to do is toe at without Horinomi-sensei noticing it.
¡GROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Someone shushes me, and some people laugh silently.
Ouch, my belly sure makes a lot of noise. ¿Noise? Hey, this might be what I need. Yes, it is 'cause if my belly makes that much noise, I only need to take out a bag from my backpack, hide it underneath my desk and wait...
.
.
.
.
.
Wait…
.
.
.
.
.
Wait…
.
.
.
.
.
Belly, you're such a nuisance sometimes. MAKE SOME NOISE ALREADY!
.
.
.
¡GROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Perfect, and, while you roar, I open my bag of chips.
I look around, and everyone's minding their own businesses and not listening to Horinomi-sensei, and she's still writing in the chalkboard and talking nonsense over there.
Wow, it seems no one noticed. Ha, a perfect crime XD. I think there was a manga about it. No, it was a manga about some mangakas who wrote a manga about that. Anyway, I've opened my chips, and now I just need to eat 'em. But how? Chips are as noisy as the bag, and who made that bag, by the way? Did they made it like this so no one could open it at class or at work or at somethere they shouldn't? What do they care? Why don't that make 'em with paper or something? But paper's really noisy, though, and it'll get oil drips, but, whatever, what I can do is to take as many chips as I can.
But I need a distraction.
Oh, I know:
¡COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF!
And I put my hand in the bag and take out as many chips as I can while fake coughing.
Now I only have to wait…
.
.
.
.
.
Wait…
.
.
.
.
.
WaiGROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I put the chips in my mouth and barely chew 'em and try to swallow 'em, and I'm choking and Kami-sama-chan, tasukete, I'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldieI'lldie and I tilt my head down and put my hands over my mouth and:
¡COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF!
I cough it all.
God dammit, that were my chips.
:'(
"Natsumura-san," that's Horinomi-sensei's voice, "everything ok? Wanna go to the nurse's office?"
¡COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COOOOOOF!
"¿Natsumura-san?"
I rise my head.
And everyone's staring at me like they always do when I say or do anything.
:'(
"Thanks, Horinomi-sensei, but I'm fine."
Oh, Kami-sama-chan, there must be a better way to eat; in the end I only have to make a distraction so no one finds out. I need noise, noise, noise. How can I make some noise without getting everyone's attention? Writing? No; that's not noisy enough. Erasing? Maybe, if I do it very loudly.
Ok, I'll try:
¡COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF, COF!
I take more chips from the bag and put 'em in my mouth; now I take my eraser and my notebook and start erasing as hard as I can:
¡SHIK, SHIK, SHIK, SHIK, SHIK, SHIK!
I'm mostly tearing off some pages, to be honest, and I do it while I chew as fast as I can.
"Uhm, Natsumura-san, you shouldn't erase that hard," that's Horinomi-sensei again.
And everyone's staring at me like they always do when I say or do anything.
:'(
But at least no one's saying I was eating in class, and I ate all my chips.
And I want some juice now. I have some in my backpack, but I bought only cans, though, and how am I supposed to open 'em without that… what noise does opening a can makes? CHHHH-CLICK? Yeah, let's say it's CHHHH-CLICK. So, how am I supposed to open 'em without that CHHHH-CLICK sound?
Wait, I got it. It's risky, but let's see what happens.
I leave the empty bag in my seat, take out a juice can from my backpack and:
"HORINOMI-SENSEI, I HAVE A QUESTION," I say while I open the can underneath the desk.
And I didn't hear that CHHHH-CLICK noise.
Another perfect crime! :P
Horinomi-sensei turns towards me.
"Yes, Natsumura-san? What's your question?"
"Uhmmmmmm… yeah, it's didn't get that last part."
"What last part?"
"Uhmmmmmm… all of it?"
Horinomi-sensei sighs and stares at me disapprovingly.
"Oh, Natsumura-san, you should have told me earlier, but, it's fine, let's see… In the 11th year of the Edo period, Tokugawa Ieyasu…" Horinomi-sensei turns back to the chalkboard, and I tilt my head downwards and drink my juice slowly so no one hears my GULPs.
Now I only have to take out my trash. I take the bag of chips and crump it into a little ball and:
¡SHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
"What was that?" Horinomi-sensei turns towards the classroom, and everyone's staring at me again. "Natsumura-san, were you eating in class?"
You know what? Now that I think about it I could just hide the chips and the juice in my pockets and ask Horinomi-sensei to go to the bathroom.
"¿Natsumura-san?"
Or to the nurse's office. Horinomi-sensei even begged me to go. I only had to say yes, take the chips and the juice and that was it.
"Natsumura-san, answer me…"
God dammit, Izumi, why didn't you figure it out earlier? It was so simple, so simplesosimplesosimplesosimpleso
"Natsumura-san!"
¡GROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!