The Sins of the Brother

Samantha.

I might was well have punched the man square in the face, judging by his expression of shock. It took a him a full minute to speak again. My skin crawled nervously. I couldn't help thinking it had been reckless to just blurt it out based on a hunch and a scent.

Samael's eyes narrowed "I thought you'd give me a week to talk about things. " He finally said.

Shit. He wasn't denying it. I was on the brink of loosing my cool, but I couldn't let him see me panicking over this or else he might consider it was too much for me to handle. Breathe in. Breathe out. It took all the strength in me to look at him in the eye.

"We're not talking about it, I'm making a wild guess." I said slowly.

"Well, that was a hell of a wild guess. " He smirked.

"So I'm right?" My insides squirmed nervously. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe.

"You can obviously tell, somehow, there's no point lying to you is there? " Now that the initial surprise had passed, he was back to lounging lazily on the couch. He looked pretty relaxed.

Me? I was about to slip into a panic attack. Holy shit! If I hadn't been leaning on the windowsill I would've fallen on my ass at the news. 'Keep it cool, Sam' I said to myself, breathing slowly through my nose.

"What gave it away?" Samael asked.

I hesitated for a second, feeling that what I was about to say would sound even crazier than what I had declared first. "I can smell you. "

"Smell me?" His eyebrows shot up.

"Well not like 'smell' , you know." I stammered, feeling a furiously red blush creep up my neck and face for some reason " There's a scent about you. But its not common. I know how ordinary people smell, all the ranges of them. But you, there's something off about you, and it's not just the scent it's everything , all of you. There's some sort of energy seeping out-"

"Ok, hold up." He interrupted my rambling hastily. "You're telling me you threw out this wild guess just by smelling me and the feeling in your gut?"

"Yeah... Oh, and the feather"

The little color in his face drained.

Good, I had the upper hand now.

"You know, that box you mentioned the one Im supposed to receive later... I really wasn't in the mood for waiting so I got a hold of it years ago." I walked slowly towards the couch to were my bag was and unzipped a side pocket to pull out a long wooden box that once held a watch. "There wasn't much in it, barely anything interesting, birth certificate, the deal, the will, but this..."

I pulled out the feather dramatically. It was some six inches long and velvety to the touch. I swear it hummed in my hand as I held it by the quill and faced Samael. It was pretty, I could only imagine a set of wings with hundreds of theses ruffling in the breeze. It was like granite, not only because of the grey, white and black specked pattern, but because it was almost imposible to break or bend too. I had even stomped on it once and not one of its downy barbs had been wrinkled out of place. As I turned it against the light and pointed it at the angel accusingly, I could see the slightest hint of dry blood staining the quill.

Samael unconsciously lifted his hand to graze the fingers over his shoulder blades. His still looked pretty dumbstruck.

"So, it's yours?" I spoke, my voice a little hoarse from the tension.

He pursed his lips, nostrils flaring.

I knew it was, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"It is. " He finally said.

My ears were ringing, and my breathing threatened to catch in my throat, forcing me to swallow hard several times to be able to inhale. I'd thought I was ready to hear this. All my life I had always known and felt that there had to be something going on around. But now the realization fell heavily in my lungs. Breathe in. Breathe out.

The proof was in my hand and in the man sitting in in front of me. His default amused look was slowly returning to his features as he leaned forward in his seat, his elbows on his knees , one hand hanging loosely and then other used to lean his chin against the knuckles.

"Can I see them? " My voice coming out much more calm than I thought it would.

"See what ? " Samael raised his eyebrows innocently.

"Your wings."

Again, pursed lips, tightened to one side. He looked at me through narrowed eyes, holding my gaze. I could feel the black tunnel trying to close in on my vision as I tried with all my strength to keep standing without swaying. Afraid that if I took a step in any direction my head would spin and I would probably pass out from the shortness of breath that the panic in my chest was causing.

Samael stood up slowly and with nimble fingers began to undo the buttons of his shirt while turning to allow full view of his back.

Ooooh... shit. Was this really happening?

"Don't forget to breathe, you look about to pass out." He muttered, chuckling softly as the blue fabric slid off his shoulders.

The muscles rippled under his olive skin as he squirmed left and right to lower the shirt.

I stared in awe, taking several staggering steps towards him with my hand outstretched. My ears kept buzzing and my panting was not helping the oxygen reach my brain.

"They're gone. " he said simply.

His back was marked with an embossed intricate design instead. The black lines flowed around his muscles to give the allusion of feathers. Each of his shoulder blades was marked with a scorched line carved into the skin.

"I'm sorry. " I said in a choked whisper.

He squared his shoulders, flexing the muscles and causing the tips of the design to ripple, as if trying to burst out of the skin.

"That's what happens when you don't follow orders." He shrugged. Turning to face me as he began to button his shirt.

"Well, what did you do? " I asked curiously.

"Lots of things really, I disobeyed dozens of times, but what really ended up blowing up in my face was that whole issue with the 'forbidden fruit' " he said the last two words in a babyish mocking tone.

"So it wasn't Satan or the serpent who temped Eve. "

"Nah, at that time Lucifer had better things to do than have mercy on humanity. Like rebellions, trying to take over the throne and all that sort shit"

"You call 'mercy' what you did?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Of course. Humans would still be running around naked being all vegetarian and naive if it hadn't been for me." He said. " I gave them knowledge, not sin."

"There can't be sin of there's no notion of what's right and wrong. " I pointed out.

"There can't be anything if there's no notion of what's right and wrong. What kind of boring existence is that? " he said, exasperated.

"A peaceful one, apparently. "

He gave me an annoyed look. " I wouldn't expect you to understand it now, but you will eventually. Things have gotten mixed up over thousands of years. I'm Samael, not Satan or Lucifer. I've been judged for his sins long enough. "

"So that's what this is all about? Cleaning your name? What does all this have to do with me? " I asked.

He looked a me thoughtfully for a moment.

"It's not about cleaning my name. It's about me being the same idiot again. I have to help make things right. You might've noticed things aren't going well for mankind. He has lost interest. And my brothers sense that. Have you noticed the last couple hundred years? Wars, famine, pandemics, pollution, drought, it's all going downhill. Men have lost their faith, and they're loosing their humanity."

"I don't think people need religion to be good." I said.

"Some don't. But most do."

"If you need religion to be good, you're no better that a trained dog behaving in exchange for treats." I stated.

He laughed. " It sounds fucked up when you say it like that, but it's true for a part of the population. The only thing keeping society together is the threat of a punishment for bad deeds. Take that punishment away and you have anarchy. All of the atrocities occurring can only be half blamed on external influence. Demons can whisper in people's ears, but each person has the last word and is held accountable for their choices."

"Guardians are sent to even things out. To make a person's finger on the trigger falter before committing murder. To help the rapist come to his senses before hurting. To calm the nerves of the overwhelmed mother who is about to commit suicide. To keep a lost child unharmed and guide him to a safe place. To help the orphan find a home. I believe in that. I don't mind the chaos once in a while, but I'm not a monster. And humans are very capable of doing monstrous things, all they need is a tiny shove in the wrong direction to tip over the edge."

He fell silent. And I just stared at him , unsure of what to say, trying to take in his words. Until something seemed to click.

"Are you a guardian now? "

His eyebrows knitted together and he nodded.

I hesitated. "My guardian?"

"Sort of."

"Is 'sort of' your way of vaguely saying yes without having to elaborate? " I asked, annoyed.

He smirked.

"And what am I? The orphan to guide home or the person who will commit murder? "

"Honestly, I don't know. For now I'll just try to keep you safe." He sighed.

"Keep me safe from what?"

"I can't tell you yet. "

I scowled.

"You're smart, too smart for your own good maybe. I won't be able to keep secrets from you for too long. So let's make a deal, I will answer honestly 'yes' or 'no' to your educated guesses, and explain if I can. Only if I know you have solid foundations to assume and ask, not if you just guess wildly, what do you think?" He held out a hand for me to shake. " Should we agree to not lie to each other? "

"It's the best deal I've been offered " I smiled and shook his hand.

"Well, now that I have told you something interesting about myself," He crossed his arms "How about you tell me how your curious little nose works?"

"I just have a better sense of smell than most people."

"That's an understatement. "

I grinned. It was. "I can't tell you exactly how it works, 'cause not even I know, but basically I can smell when a person feels a strong impulse." I tried to explain. "The body exudes hormones; adrenaline, oxitocyn, estrogen , testosterone, and a dozen more. Each particular combination corresponds to a specific behavior."

"You could tell what the blonde at the convent was feeling , huh?"

"Yeah, she was lusting over you sooo bad. " I laughed. "You could tell too?"

"Vaguely."

"And I'm guessing you know what's wrong with me? Or why I can do this?"

He nodded.

"But you're no gonna tell me, right? " I could see how this was going to work.

"Not today. Unless you have an educated guess?"

"I'm a werewolf?" I smiled.

Samael smiled too and slumped into his seat again . "We' re gonna need a TV." He muttered.

"For sure. I don't think a can bear these conversations every day without my mind blowing up." I huffed. " Is the door to the backyard in the kitchen? "

"Yes, why?"

I rummaged through my bag and stomped towards the backyard. I needed to get my mind off things for a while.

"What are doing?" He called, surprised.

"I got a uniform to burn" I said over my shoulder.

Starting a moderate fire would surely calm me down a bit. Some people need yoga, I preferred arson.