Chapter Five

Every time I close my eyes, the scene plays over and over again. The sight of her sprinting through the stairs knowing that she wasn't supposed to. As she fell on her knees as the feeling of relief flowed through her. And now, that I know more about her, the more I understand. The more I understand, the heavier my heart grows. I wonder how heavy her heart felt, how worried was she, how much frustration did she have. But I know it's not my business to know. Somehow, I feel like want to know more about her but I don't. I want to see her but I don't. I want to be with her but I don't.

I felt guilty that she told me about her past and I didn't share about my own. I felt bad that I wasn't able to comfort her after she told me her story. And I feel like I need to return the favor and tell her about myself.

Those thoughts raced through my head as I lie in my bed. I desperately try to look for reasons so I wouldn't have to tell her but I can't find a single one. I looked at my clock as I was pondering for reasons to avoid the inevitable and it turns out that it's already 2 o'clock in the morning. So I just resigned myself to tell her and besides if I was given something, it would be rude not to give something back. And with the little time I have left, I forced myself to sleep.

First thing I did as I was walking to school is to look around to see if she's there but she isn't. This would have been the best time to tell her so it wouldn't bother me while in class but I guess it doesn't always go according to plan. I just hoped to see her during break time so we can talk.

During class, I was so distracted about what I should say to her that I didn't hear my teacher call my name. Turns out, none of my classmates was able to answer the problem she wrote on the board. I would've been able to answer the problem but when she noticed that I wasn't paying attention, she snapped. She was so furious that I was asked to go to the office of the faculty office when it's break time.

I went to the office hoping to get it over with as quickly as possible. When I got there, she went on and on saying that if I'm not interested in her class, I can always get out of class. By the time she finished, the break was already over so I just went to class.

Then lunch break came, I decided to tell her after I eat my lunch. So I took my lunch from my bag and ate as fast as I could. As I was eating, I realized that I forgot to bring my essay which was due this afternoon. After I ate, I rushed to finish my output. I finished it but there was too little time left to talk to her so I just gave up and prepared for the afternoon class.

Afternoon class was finally over. I packed my things, wore my bag and rushed to the door. I was then stopped by the class president saying that I'm on cleaning duty today. I checked the bulletin board and apparently he's right. I apologized to him, put my bag back on my seat and started to clean.

I finished cleaning but by that time, almost all of the students have already gone home. And I wouldn't be surprised if she already went home. The sun was already set halfway on the horizon. I just laughed at myself for being so frantic about something so simple. If I'm not able to talk to her today, then it's fine, I can do it another day. There was no need to do it instantly. Time will come when I am given my chance to talk to her but that's not today.

With a little disappointment, I took my bag, closed the doors, and walked the corridor. I notice that her classroom door was open. I glanced through the door as I was walking past it and there she was sitting on her desk looking outside the window. Then she looked at me and smiled. She took her bag and went toward the door. I stood on the doorway waiting for her and as she was close enough, she whispered in my ear.

"Doesn't it feel like we're the only one's here?" she then gave me the same playful smile as she locked the classroom door.

"Wha…"

"You okay?" she said with the same smile on her face. She then giggled and told me "Were going to the park today."

"What? Why?" I was confused because I thought she's the type who goes home after school.

"I'll tell you later, c'mon let's go"

Then we headed to the park just as she suggested. She teased me on the way there but it's not something I can't handle. I still get my chance to tell her my story today after all. If I would've just waited then I wouldn't have to deal with all the trouble I've been through.