Chp.16

I jump off the bus, immediately getting aside to avoid getting pushed. I keep on cursing myself for forgetting my headphones in home. I wasn't even in a hurry. But the fact that you kept me awake half of the night is the reason why I didn't realize that my headphones weren't hanging around my neck until I sat in the school bus.

That's the bloody problem with you. You just keep on coming inside my dreams, my imaginations. I hate it. I hate it when you do that. And even when I'm trying hard to not despise you – for reasons such as you being my sister. But you just can't help yourself, can you? You so badly want me to hate you.

My thoughts pause when I see Ander walking in my direction. So, I hurry inside, pushing and squeezing my way through others. I didn't want to get into a fight. We haven't been in one since I attacked him and Rickson showed up. But something in his face shows he's in a mood for one. I'm not, on the other hand.

He'll probably come and spit out words about her. Will you really let that happen?

I stop on my tracks, turning around to see who said that. Kids walking past me, running for their late classes. It was a boy's voice. Familiar. I narrow my eyes at the ones passing, a boy accidentally bumping into me,

"Watch it!" He yells. As if I was the one at fault. He glares at me before walking away. But I'm too confused to focus on him.

That voice. It felt like it was there. I could hear it, but not hear it at the same time.

Then, I remember. That voice. Is mine. In my head just like yours. The voice that wants me to go back. I sigh, shaking my head because it was obvious. It's my voice warning me again. But I ignore it. What stunned me is how real it felt. Like someone actually spoke up to me. I take a deep breath, clearing my mind before adjusting the strap on my bag and walking to my locker.

"Class dismissed!" A fat kid yells, who I never got to know, racing out of the room. It's like he was waiting for it to end since the beginning. I laugh to myself at that quietly, standing up and grabbing my books.

Everyone walks out of the room, and I feel like someone's looking at. I don't need to turn and see who it is. I already know who it is. Sophie. She does that a lot. We never talked after I got...um... arrested. I mean, she tries to. I don't know why she bothers.

But it's hard to talk to someone whose sister blamed everything on the innocent, right?

That voice.

"Shut up." I mutter to myself, still pretending to sort my books. Still pretending that I accidently dropped my pen.

She finally walks away. And I breathe a sigh of relief.

Gathering my things, I wait for five minutes before heading for the door. I am the only one left in the class.

"Lukas?" I hear a voice, "A word, if you please."

Oh, right. I forgot that with every class, comes a teacher. And isn't this Mr. Murphy's class?

I force myself to face him, whose sitting on his chair, looking at a piece of paper.

"Uh...yes?"I awkwardly walk up to him.

He sighs, taking off the glasses resting on his nose and hands me the paper. I raise my eyebrows, questioningly, but took it anyway.

It's my result card, I think? I got a D- in English –worse than the rest. I hesitantly look back at Mr. Murphy. He's giving me a long disappointed stare.

"Did you see your grade, Lukas?"

I shrug, even though it's obvious that I did.

"I can't believe that you got this grade in my class, Lukas." He keeps going on, "You, of all the people. I'm still having a hard time believing this."

I don't reply. Just staring at the table, wanting this to be over.

"I know these months have been hard for you-" He begins.

"Nothing was hard for me." I frown, interrupting him.

What's he talking about? I'm fine. Totally fine.

"If that's the case," Mr. Murphy grimaces, "Then, why are you having difficulty in my class?"

I don't answer that. I don't know how to.

Nine months ago, that thing I was doing was the reason I was getting bad grades. But now, even when I'm not doing those things anymore, it's like I'm permanently marked with never getting good grades. No matter what I do I can't get a ruddy A in Murphy's class.

"Nevertheless," Murphy breaks the silence, "I still don't wish to give up on you and therefore, I suggest you enter your name for the summer program."

I scowl, briefly, ears perking with interest, "What summer program?"

"Nothing much," Mr. Murphy says, a-matter-of-factly, "The school organized it for..." He hesitates, not sure if he should say it, "The weak, Lukas. I'm afraid you're one of them. Our bright students will help you throughout the program, help you improve."

"But summer vacations are almost here," I explain, "And My family and I-"

"Yes, I'm aware." He waves it off, "You are leaving the town. But the camp is only for a week and half. The principle already discussed with your parents and they want me to convince you into it."

I barely heard anything after that word, "Did you just say camp?"

He nods, "Summer camp, yes."

"But...But I can't-" I try and protest but he raises his hand to stop me, scratching at his short beard.

"I know what you're going to say, Lukas. But please. At least think about it? I used to be fond of you, you know. And I still want to be. You were an outstanding student. I don't know what happened. But I want you to listen to me, alright? Try the camp. It'll improve your grades. And hopefully by the end of the program, you'll be the one helping others rather than the other way around." I could see a spark in his eyes when he said that. And even though it shows optimism in them, I still feel disgusted.

"And anyway, if you don't improve your grades then it'll be had to get in a good college." He adds.

I consider that. He's right when it comes to that but a camp? I don't want to go to a camp. The idea of it brings chills inside me.

"I'll... think about it." I say after a long pause.

Mr. Murphy smiles at me.

"I hope you take the right choice, Lukas. Don't let me down."

I give a thin smile in return, "I'll try."

A camp? Is this karma or a just coincidence?

I swear under my breath. But that won't make the voice to disappear.