Crucible

Present

Sin

I leave Brandi naked on the bed and step into my jeans.

"You ripped out my extension", she complains while rolling around to find her clothes.

"I'll buy you new ones." I pat her ass as I walk past her and out the door.

"I'll hold you to it!" Brandi calls out and giggles.

I make my way to the kitchen, scarf down a few spring rolls and grab a beer. The party's in full swing now and if I hadn't just blown my load I'd be salivating at the scene before me.

Dixie saunters towards me and I have to force myself not to cringe. I've been blowing her off since the night I spent with Claudette. She's persistent if nothing else, I'll give her that.

"You smell like pussy!" she hisses and smacks my arm. I glare down at her making her take a step back. Usually I'm a happy go fucking lucky guy, but this bitch was treading on my last nerve and not very carefully.

"Remember who you're speaking to." I say through gritted teeth. Most of the people around us are either too drunk to care or desensitised to Dixie and Sin drama but there are the few brothers from Portland who I have no interest in looking like a fool in front of.

"I'm sorry", she whispers. "Can we talk outside?" Her lips are quivering, and her eyes are glassy. I hate this dance we've been doing for ages. I do something, she gets mad and blows up, I put her in her place and then she's an emotional mess trying to "fix" me. What is there to fix?

"Sure" I agree with her mostly to keep her from causing a scene and killing my buzz.

The air's cool outside and the moon is on full display. It's the kind of night romance novel reading chicks would go nuts for. I wonder if Dixie even reads. I know Claudette does since I spotted rows of books in her room the last time I was there.

When we reach the shed behind the club house, Dixie starts pacing. I sip on my beer and wait for it. 3, 2, 1

"I thought we were in a good place, Sin. I thought you were finally letting me in. What happened?", she cries in desperation, tears streaming down her cheek.

"What are you talking about?" I know what she's talking about, but I refuse to acknowledge her delusions. Somewhere along the road I realised that Dixie only pretended to be okay with our arrangement in the hope that time would make me fall in love with her. The more she tried to force it on me the more I got put off by her and this is how far it's come.

"Sin, you care about me. I know you do. And I care about you. I'm the only one who loves you. We can be together, we can be happy. Let me make you happy. You wanna fuck around until you're ready to face that? Fine. I'll be with you through it because I know that you don't love them. They don't have what you and I have. They don't understand you like I do." I'm ashamed to say that there was a time when I let her sucker me into jumping in with her if only for just a little while before I grabbed another skirt and we started this cycle all over again. But now I know that Dixie isn't offering me anything of substance. Dixie is a deceased member's daughter and the club is all she knows; she doesn't want to leave but that's not because she's got irrevocable love for it. Its because she's scared of the outside world. She dropped out of high school, never got a job and stayed on daddy's dime until he passed. Now she's nobody's princess or property and in need of a different type of daddy. She's not stupid. She knows that club whores are a dime a dozen, so she wants to be my old lady. That way she can go back to being important and doesn't have to get out on her own. For some reason she set her sights on me and like the sucker I was I played along until realising what a manipulative bitch she is. Sad thing is, I don't think she even knows what she's doing. It's clear that she's warped her own mind into believing that this is a normal way of handing the grief of losing her father and her old lifestyle.

Dixie cups me and starts rubbing. She obviously has no idea how horrifying she looks with her runny mascara. I grab her hand and nudge her away from me.

"You don't know anything about me. Hell, you don't even know yourself, Dixie. Do yourself a favour and get help. We're done." I hear her curse me out as I walk away but I don't turn back.

I'm near the compound when I come face to face with Ink's old lady. She's talking to Claudette who has her back to me. I could identify this girl from just her damn fingernail.

"That's not what happened. I've never been sexually involved with that man in any capacity." What man? I don't move a muscle, not wanting to give away my presence, curious about what Claudette is saying. She rarely speaks candidly with me.

"So, you're not attracted to him at all?" Sandra asks her.

"I'm not really in a stable place right now."

"Do you wanna fuck him?" Who?

"I do not want to sleep with him, no." You better fucking not.

"Okay. Gotta say I'm surprised. Never thought I'd meet a girl who didn't have the pants charmed off her by Sin." Okay, I take that back. She doesn't wanna fuck me? What's wrong with her? Sandra meets my eye and I can tell she's wondering the same thing.

"It's not that I don't think he's a great guy. I've been working on some issues. I go to therapy every week and I don't really have the space in my mind to dwell on men. I've got a long journey ahead of me before I get better and entertaining anything would be careless to my progress and unfair to the other person."

I feel like an ass now. She's been through a crucible and I just assumed she got out unscathed. She's not okay and here I am thinking with my dick.

I don't know the whole story or even half of what the Deveraux's have been through, but I know enough to give her a pass on literally any and all psychotic behaviour. For the most part though, she's handled herself with more class and grace than anyone should ever have to.

I walk towards her and place a hand on her waist.

"Hey", I whisper when she turns around to face me.

"We were just talking about you." Her dark brown eyes look chocolate in the moon light and her smile is spectacular.

"All good things I hope" I meet Sandra's eyes and silently thank her for letting me have this peek into Claudette's head. She smirks.

"I'll give you two some privacy." Sandra's gone before Claudette can protest.

"I think she misunderstood the situation." She tells me.

No, sweetie, you did.