In a Gaze

The filming for the advertisement was not going well.

The crew called for a break. He could see the director and the brand's representative conferring in a corner. Probably thinking of firing him.

Ogita handed him a bottle of water. "You're not bringing your game."

At least he was honest.

"I know. I'll just get some air."

He went outside the building through a side entrance. It led him to a random courtyard with benches.

Oh good. There was no one around.

Takumi slumped on a bench in the middle of the open space and sighed loudly.

No matter how hard he tried, it wasn't enough for the director and the brand's representative.

He did warn them that casting him was a mistake. Nishioka nearly threw a file at him during the initial meeting when Takumi voiced his legitimate concerns.

They insisted. Surely, he would do well. He was so beautiful that it required little effort to take it to the next level.

Who was he to question their professional judgement?

The set was simple. Mirrors and dark walls.

The song for the commercial was a perfect fit. Sultry and seductive.

If only Takumi was not fucking up the concept.

He wasn't sensual enough. There wasn't any intensity.

It got to a point where the director asked, with restrained exasperation and outright incredulity, if Takumi could please, be a little sexier.

He nearly perished from embarrassment. The mere recollection had Takumi burying his face in his hands in frustration.

He had always gotten away with just his looks and being fresh faced.

But now, Nishioka believed that Takumi needed to up his game. He was hugely popular but something was holding him back from his full potential.

Takumi couldn't lay out his torrid experience.

He wondered what Nishioka would say if he knew that this was the improved and less broken Takumi.

Abruptly, heavy droplets landed on him.

"Fuck!"

Was this some kind of joke? He was going to run for cover when the shade of an umbrella casted over him.

Takumi tilted his head and blinked.

"Akira?"

The face he knew so well looked at him with a hint of concern.

"Working?"

He tried to work his voice for a moment.

"Y-yeah. A commercial. What are you doing here?"

Akira was in a suit and carrying a document folder. "Let's go in first."

They went back in through the side entrance.

Once inside the building, Akira closed the umbrella and said, "Just finished a meeting and I was heading to the carpark."

"Random place for a meeting," Takumi commented.

What he really wanted to say was – I am SO HAPPY to see you.

"My client owns the building," Akira explained. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

Nothing escaped the man.

"My awful performance today," Takumi said glumly.

"Not going well?" Akira frowned.

"Probably going to call it a day," Takumi sighed.

"What's the problem?"

He sighed in frustration. "The director says that I lack intensity."

Akira lifted an eyebrow in a query.

"Basically, I am not sexy enough," Takumi blurted.

His cheeks were feeling the heat. He wanted to sink into a quicksand.

Akira didn't utter a word. His face as impassive and calm as ever. He casted his eyes over Takumi.

In a tone which was so factual, as if he was debating the finer details of a legal point, Akira said two words.

"I disagree."

Then he lifted the corner of his lips slightly.

A sudden tension, so brief as it was illusionary, crackled between them.

Takumi felt his insides burst into flames.

What wouldn't he give to feel like this all day with Akira. If he leaned a bit further, pressed against him just a little, and then…

He nearly swallowed.

"Do you have to go back to the office?" he asked, careful not to let his voice crack.

"No," Akira responded. "I was going to go home."

"Stay? I'll buy you dinner after we wrap up. It's just been a difficult shoot."

He tried to make it sound casual. It was anything but. At this point, he didn't care if Akira noticed.

Akira merely nodded and followed Takumi down the corridor back to the set.

Ogita frowned but said nothing when he saw who Takumi had brought back.

"You can wait here," Takumi led Akira to his chair. "I'll make it quick."

"Take your time. I'll just finish some work."

Akira whipped out a tablet from the document folder.

He added with a slight smile. "You can do this."

Takumi was Inspired.

He turned around and stormed to the set, passing the director and the crew, who were probably discussing how to salvage the situation.

"One more try," Takumi declared.

"Ah, I don't think it's a good idea..."

"You hair's wet! At least let us fix-"

"Are you sure?"

Takumi looked at Akira, who was now was settling comfortably into the chair and focusing on whatever he was reading on a screen.

That look of focus. If he had his way, he would…

"I'm sure," Takumi said and fixed his eyes on the camera.

Something changed. The electricity in the air. The tension on the set.

It could simply be his imagination.

Whatever it was, it caused a sudden silence and the director yelled, "Play the music, damn it."

This time, Takumi ignored all the noises in the room. All the faces and the distractions. He focused solely on the raw feeling he felt just minutes ago. On Akira sitting there in a corner so quietly and casually.

What would he do with and to Akira if he could?

It would be safe. It would be warm. And it wouldn't hurt him.

Everything he wanted and fantasized about at night when he was alone in his apartment. Knowing that nothing would come out of it.

Then Akira looked up briefly. Their eyes met. One split second.

Takumi had never seen that expression on his face.

Of Akira wanting him. He could die right now.

"Cut!" the director's sharp voice broke the moment.

Akira turned away and Takumi drew his body straight. His attention back to the set.

Faces were staring and gaping.

Even Ogita's jaw dropped.

"Brilliant! Magnificent!" the director shouted.

The brand's representative was covering her mouth and gasping.

"Are we done?" Takumi asked, suddenly aware of his thundering heart. Of the stirring in his lower regions.

"I'll go through the shots quickly," the director said and studied the monitor intently.

Takumi nodded and swallowed. He walked over to Akira briskly.

Akira stood up.

"You did well."

He said it so quietly. Too quietly. Takumi knew better. He could see the storm in those usually calm eyes.

He wanted to drown in them.

"I-"

"Matsumoto!" Nishioka appeared and grabbed his elbow urgently.

"What?" Takumi couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice.

His agent ignored it pointedly and just said with glee, "Brand rep wants to discuss more projects."

More projects. More opportunities beyond the seasonal campaign. Takumi better play ball and behave. He could read the unsaid words in Nishioka's eyes shining with dollar signs.

Under usual circumstances, Takumi would have been amused. Right now, he wanted to murder his agent.

He was going to bite out a refusal when Akira asked, "More projects? It's good to take advantage of the moment."

Nishioka nodded approvingly. "Exactly!"

The only advantage Takumi wanted to discuss right now involved him and Akira. Alone.

But the storm had passed. The calm was restored in those irises.

He tried to ignore the bitter disappointment and commented, "Looks like it's going to take more time."

"I'll go home first then," Akira said. He added, "We should still meet up for dinner."

"Sure," Takumi didn't know what else to say.

"I'll call you."

Nishioka nudged Takumi. "She's waiting."

Akira seemed amused by Nishioka's urgency. "I won't keep you then."

Takumi faked a bright smile. "See you soon. Thanks for today!"

As he watched Akira leaving the set, in the midst of a conversation about more meetings and a possible long-term contract, Takumi felt a yearning so sad and strong that it almost choked him.

How long could he keep this charade for?