Chapter 5: Stay Inside (Sasha's POV)

Tanner looked at me for a few moments, he still managed to have that smile on his face. I never understood how, he had just dug a grave for his daughter and then buried her in it. I felt sick thinking about it, this time I did not smile back at him.

Tanner looked at the ground a bit sadly now. I knew why, without me smiling his thoughts went back to his daughter. I kind of felt bad, but at the same time I didn't, now was not the time to be happy at all. Right now, I just wanted to fall into the arms of my best friend.

I never even got to say sorry to her, instead of saying sorry, I had gotten her killed. Whether or not Tanner wants to say it was not me, in my mind I knew it was me. I don't think I could ever get over something like this. I was expected Tanner to through me out, but he was just too good of a human.

I wish every human could be like him... But no... We had humans out here, killing other humans for no reason. It made me feel sick even thinking about it. Why did they have to go around destroying the world? We were here trying to fix it.

It reminded me of something Tanner told me one time, in my mind, I could think that there was no way possible that it could be true. I knew that it was though, so many people had said things about it... Not just Tanner, people that were parents of the kids at daycare... People like Ben.

Tanner looked at me, as he gave me lunch... Today was my day off, Ashley was out working at the daycare. I often liked to come here anyways, even when Ashley was at work. Her dad always lightened up the mood in my life, it brought light to all of the dark.

"What's wrong Sasha? I can tell that you have something on your mind today." Tanner asked me. I looked down at the ground a bit sadly, to be truthful, it was me and Ashley... Me and her had taken a bit of a darker turn lately, having lots of arguements and disagreements.

I thought about lying to him, or not saying anything about it to him. But I knew that I should not, and that I could not do that. It almost seemed like sometimes he always knew what I was going to say already.

Almost like he was a telepath of some sorts, or maybe it was because Ashley had already said something about it to him. I knew that her and her father were always close, after they had lost her mother such a long time ago, before all of this ever happened.

But a part of me also was telling me that I needed to tell him. Maybe that was the good part of me, I knew that Tanner always kept an open mind. He was not going to take either of our sides, no matter who was right, or who was wrong.

I looked up at him, before quickly biting into the peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich that he had made for me. I was doing my best to put this off as long as I could. It was stupid that me and Ashley were fighting about the way that we were.

"Ashley... She has been trying to start a petition to stop people from going out of the walls. I am talking to her about why we should still be doing that, but every time we do, it turns into a heated arguement." I said to him. He looked at me, this time, for the first time in a while he was a bit surprised.

Maybe he was not a telepath, maybe he did not expect that at all. After a few moments, his face finally turned back to his normal form. He then nodded to me, looking down at the ground a bit sadly at the same time.

"She always tells me to not go out of the walls, theres a part of her that is right, but we can't just give up... We have to at least still have some sort of hope, that the world will be able to change." He said, almost looking at me to see if what he had said was right...

I looked at him a bit sadly for a few moments, I then nodded to him. It was stupid that me and Ashley were getting into fights over this. It was almost like we were acting like a married couple. I remember when my parents often fought nearly every day that they were together.

"Yes... But, me and her talk about this, and she gets very upset at me, and I get upset at her as well because it seems like she never wants to listen to me." I told him. He looked at me for a few more moments, then he got up from the table and went to the other room.

I looked a bit confused for a few moments, I heard him scuffling through a bit of drawers in the other room. I wondered what it was that he was looking for in there. Eventually I heard the drawer shut and he came back into the room that I was in with something in his hand.

I looked at it a pit closer, I could not quite tell what it was. He sat back down at the table, sliding it over to me. I could tell that he was in a lot of pain even showing me that. I picked it up, and looked at it closely for a few moments, it was no longer than 3 inches of width and an inch long.

It was a light green color, I wondered if it was because of the rust. Like from the statue of liberty, or if it was painted to look like that. I noticed that it was a cat, I looked up at Tanner a bit confused as to why he had brought it in the room to show me.

"What is this? I don't get it..." I asked him. He looked at me for a few moments, and then he smiled at me and he nodded. He leaned back in the chair, just staring at the cieling for a few minutes.

I looked at the cat a bit closer for a few moments, I then noticed something at the bottom that I had not even thought to look at. It said the name "Kate". I wondered what it was for, and whos name it could possibly be referencing. Tanner then looked at me, with a bit of a sad smile on his face.

"You see the name Kate... That is Ashley's mother... You do not know that, because we do not talk about it much, it is a painful subject." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, a bit surprised. I looked at it a bit closer, Ashley must have made this for her mother in one of her art classes.

I looked at it a bit sadly for a few moments, I then looked down at the ground. I felt bad for her, I began to feel bad for her. It was beginning to make sense now, this had to be why she did not want to bring the world back to normal, because she had lost her mother when it was normal.

"I'm sorry... I don't really know what to say, I am sure that she was a good woman." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, he then nodded, looking down at the ground for a few more moments. I could tell that he was in pain, he just did not want to show it.

I did not blame him, he was always the one to look strong for the rest of us, when the rest of us were weak. He had to keep those thoughts in his head when he was talking to me. I always looked at him as the strong one, the one that holds everyone together.

"She was... At least I thought that she was..." He said to me. I looked at him and then nodded, as he kept looking at the ground, even the moment he had said what he had just said to me. He was in quite a lot of pain, and I felt bad for him. It seemed like I was the one that was going to have to show him how to use coping skills.

I then began to think, what it was that he had meant. He had said, at least I thought she was... What did that mean? Ashley had always told me that she loved her mother so much, and that her mother had died, I was a bit confused as to what he meant.

"What do you mean? Did you find something out after she died?" I asked him, looking at him a bit confused. He kept on staring at the ground, almost as if he had not heard a single word that I had just said to him, even though I knew that he had heard all of it.

After a few more seconds of him staring at the ground, he then looked back up at me. I could see pain in his face, but also anger in his face. Something that I had never seen from this man ever before. I had always thought of this man as the happiest person that you would ever meet.

I hope he was not upset at something that I had just said... Last thing I needed was for both him and Ashley to be pissed off at me. They were the only 2 I had, the only friends that I had. Every other person either was jealous of me, or didn't want to be friends... They just wanted to use me as a pick up.

"No... She was a narcissist, she was doing so many things behind my back, cheating on me... Doing a damn good job of hiding it as well. But I found out, one of the people that I worked with..." He said to me. I looked at him a bit confused and a bit surprised at the exact same time.

I knew what a narcissist was, it had come up in a few conversations... Is that what had really happened? How had she ended up dieing in the end then? If he had found out about it, don't tell me that he had accidentally killed her right?

There was no way that could be true, Tanner had told me that he had to kill a few people before... But those were evil people... But maybe, a narcissist was an evil person right? I looked down at the ground for a few moments, not too sure what to say.

"How did she die? Did you kill her?" I asked him. He looked at me a bit surprised and a bit confused for a few moments. Then he let out a weird sort of giggle, he shook his head at me, and then eventually he looked down at the ground at the same time.

I felt bad for him, and I hoped that I was not pushing him too far at the same time, I just wanted to know what had happened to Ashleys mother, that way I could get a better understanding as to why she was the way that she was some times.

"No... She didn't die... Well, she probably is now... I just told Ashley that she died so she would not know that her mother left her... Please don't tell her this, I will find a day when she must know..." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, I was very surprised that he was opening up to me so much like he was right now.

I looked at him for a few moments, I could see the pain on his face. I felt bad for him because of it, I did not know that sort of pain, so there was not much I could say to make him feel better. I just looked at the ground for a few moments, sadly, I felt what he was going through.

I didn't know what it was like to lose the one that you truly loved, I had never felt that way about anyone before, sure there was a few guys I had been talking to and that I had dated, but all of them only wanted to hook up with me.

I got up from off of the chair, there was only one thing that I could think of that would make him feel better. That was, to not say anything at all, but to let him know that he was loved, and that he was cared for. I went over to him, and put my hand on his shoulder for a few moments.

The he pulled me closer, and he gave me the biggest hug that I think I had ever felt before. It was almost like he was squeezing me, but I knew, just as well as he did, that we both needed that hug. Life had been rough, ever sense this had all gone down. We were all trying to find a way to cope with it, I just did not agree with Ashley's version.

"You find a way to cope with it, by not coping at all." I shook my head, trying not to think about it too deeply. The path that she was trying to stir me on was a path of having no emotions. While in some instances that might be a good idea, this was just not one of those instances.

If we show no emotions, then all of us are all brain dead. I just hated, how we agrued about it, it seemed like every conversation lately seemed to go on the exact same path. No matter what we said, we promised not to bring it up, but it always got there for some odd reason or another.

"I promise that I will not tell her, that is something between you and her..." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, and he nodded his head, his eyes for looking right at mine. I could tell that he was listening, he always told us, if you listen to him, he will listen to you. "And Tanner... I love you..."

Tanner moved in closer and gave me another tight hug. I did not mean it in an actual relationship way, and he knew it. I could feel his pain, and his body for some reason, unlike a normal body, felt a little cold right now, and it was not because of the tempature in the room.

"I love you too Sasha, you are like a daughter to me. Ashley is your sister, make sure you let her know that, and that you will never leave each other." He said to me, with a big smile on his face. He always smiled, I loved him for it, no matter what, through all the bad, he always gave us that smile.

I closed my eyes, not trying to think about the bad in that memory, but only about the good. It was a special moment for me and him... But I could not help but think what happened later that day. That exact same day, was the day that me and Ashley stopped being friends with one another.

Tanner then began talking, both me and him were huddled up in our thoughts, and our memories of Ashley. But now that both me and him were finally paying attention to what was going on around us, he was talking to me.

"Lets go over to that shed, there is some small planks of wood, and some nails to use... We can make a grave stone for her." He said to me. I looked at him for a few seconds, taking in what he had just said to me, and I nodded to him.

It was a good idea, I always heard horror stories about grave yards and grave stones. But this one felt special to me and Tanner, this was not a bunch of people that we did not know. This was Ashley, my best friend... And his daughter that he loved so much.

"Alright, I'll take the lead this time, so you can make sure nothing sneaks up on me." I said to him. He looked at me and nodded, cracking a big smile, I smiled right back at him at the exact same time.

Then I began walking over the wood part of the fence that the dead had taken down. I could see one of the dead in the yard that we were heading into, but luckily it was heading out, and it made no such sign that it had seen us or knew that we were there.

I walked over to the shed, making sure that I was being as queit as possible, and doing exactly what Ben had taught me to do, when there were dead around. The only difference is, he was going after them, to kill them, I was not. I was trying to stay away from them as much as possible.

I had never killed one of the dead before, and I did not want that day to be today. I looked over at Tanner to make sure that there were no dead following him, and that we were both safe. I nodded once again, happy that me and him were both okay.

Then I felt a large jult of pain go up into my head, it made me nearly fall to the ground. But Tanner caught me luckily right before I did. I could tell by the look on face, he could tell that something was not right with me. My head felt a large amount of pain.

"Sasha, I think you should go in the house, you need to take some rest for a few days. I've got this... You've done enough, and I am thankful for the help that you have given me." He said to me. For a few moments, I was about to nod and then go into the house. Because of the pain I was experiencing.

I decided not to however, this was my best friend, and I could make it just a little bit longer right? I shook my head at him. He looked at me for a few minutes, and then he put my hand to his head, I heard him whisper a few things behind my back.

Then he queitly said amen, which told me that he was giving me a prayer. I looked at him and nodded, thanking him for it. Even if I did not believe in all of that, it still was good to hear that someone still very much cared about me. Maybe there was a god, maybe Ashley was safe with him now.

"I'll go in once the job is done, my head hurts a lot, but I cant do it until I know that my best friend is safe." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, then he smiled and nodded. I let him take the first steps into the shed, I was not sure where it was that he was looking for.

I let him do all the work, and figured that I would stay out of the shed and make sure that none of the dead snuck up on us. I could still see a fair amount walking in the streets, Ben always told me that that it was their favorite place to walk...

Because there was nothing in the way to stop them, he was right, there were a few in peoples yards, but it seemed like they were heading to the street to join the rest of the dead, I had some odd scary feeling that they were going to make a fairly large heard soon.

I shook my head not wanting to think about it, I just wanted to get this over with, and then get inside, and get me some rest. I suppose that the community was over with, I did not know what we were going to do now.

I am sure people are going to come back from their missions and see the place in tatters, the probably wont even bother coming in. We probably needed to leave just like the rest of them as well. Maybe they did, I knew that a lot of them did have kids...

Maybe we should stay back, and wait for them, let them know that they are not the only ones. Or maybe we should leave before a massive heard comes in, and there is no way out of here. I closed my eyes for a few moments not wanting to think about it.

But then I opened them, remembering that I was supposed to be paying attention to all that was going on around us. Maybe Ben was out there safe, I did not want to think about him coming back and finding his dead brother in the daycare.

We had to stay back though, we had to make sure the others knew that they were not the only ones... I mean... Hell... We had seen people last night right? Surely I could not be the only survivor right? But there were no survivors in the other community... At least still there, if they had survived, they had left at that point.

I heard Tanners footsteps as he walked over to me, right outside the shed. He looked around for a few moments, and then he nodded to me to get my attention. He then began talking to me.

"Alright, Ive got this nailed in, it is a cross... That's about all I can do... Let's go ahead and get over there... And then get you some rest." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, and I nodded to him.

This was the last time that I would get to see the last of Ashley, and it seemed like it was all going by so fast. Maybe a lot of that had to do with my concussion as well though. I looked at him, as he then began walking over to the fence of the yard to go over to the grave.

Which luckily was easy to spot, because it was the only place that did not have any grass growing at all. I hopped over the fence, and I nearly stepped over the body of the dead, forgetting that it was even there in the first place.

He walked over to the grave of his daughter, and then he got down on his knees, looking at it a bit sadly, the soil that was sitting on top of his daughters body. I could only feel a positive energy coming from my best friends dead body, that was laying in the earth.

Tanner looked over at me, and then he nodded to me to get on my knees and sit down beside him. I looked at him, and then I nodded back to him understanding what he was signifying me to do. He was about to give Ashley one final goodbye... I then sat down beside him, getting on me knees as well.

"Sasha... Could you please give her the final prayer for her?" He said to me. He looked at me dead in the eyes. I did not know how to respond to what he had just asked of me. I never was much of a believer in god, I did not even know how to pray.

I just looked at him, staring at him with my blank expression. I then took in what he was saying... He wanted me, the best friend of his daughter, to give her the final rest of her remains. I looked at him, and then I nodded to him.

He looked at me and he smiled at me thankfully, as I then began the prayer for my best friend. I felt almost like a strange energy, like someone was watching me. Almost in a good way though, maybe it was Ashley watching over us... Making sure that me, and her father were safe.

"Dear God, I bless that you take this woman in your arms, and bring her to a safe home, I pray that she is safe, and she knows that me and her father love her, in Jesus's name, amen..." I said, Tanner still had his eyes closed as I opened my own.

And he stayed that way for a few more moments. For the first time, I saw something that I had never seen from Tanner. He was always happy, no matter the situation that all of us were forced into. I saw a tear drop onto the earth.

After a few more moments, he finally opened his eyes. He looked over at me, his eyes were red, and I could tell he was crying. He looked at me still, and he smiled... I could tell that this was a real smile, I could tell that he truly did care for me almost like another daughter.

Even after the large fight that had seperated me and Ashley for a very long time. He still loved me... He did not blame me, nor her, for any of what had happened between us. I looked down at the ground a bit sadly.

He then put the grave stone down beside her dead body. He pushed it a little bit to make sure that it would hold, anf then he looked over at me, with a bit of a smile still on his face. He then got up and nodded for me to do the same.

"Thank you for this, I can not even begin to tell you how thankful I am to have you here right now... I wish that this would not have happened, but it did... And you were there with me." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, and then I nodded to him.

I went over, and I gave him another quick hug, he gladly took the hug. And then we moved from off of each other. He looked at his daughters grave one last time, and then he looked over at me to make sure that I was ready to head back in the house.

"Thank you... For being a good father, many people don't have that. Especially in the world we are in now, and even before then... Let's go in now though, my brain is dying." I said to him. He looked at me with a grin, he he laughed a little bit.

I nodded to him to take the first steps back to the place that we were staying at, and we knew that it was going to be safe at. He then began walking, and I began following. Luckily as far as I could see, thankfully the dead seemed to be spread out further away in other regions.

In a weird way, it seemed like they were leaving the community, not coming in. I shook my head though, as Tanner opened the front door to the house once we were over at it. I then walked in, feeling the hot air, clearly the power was not working.

I had noticed that for quite some time now, either no one had any of their lights on, which could make sense, or the power was out. I was guessing the 2nd part, feeling how hot it was inside of the house. I walked over the the fridge right away hoping there was water in there.

As I opened it, my orginal theory I came to find was true... There was still a little bit of cold air left in there, but I had left the rest of it out, and there was no light, to light up the fridge. I shook my head though, and went over to the nearest water bottle that I could see.

I handed one to Tanner, I could see the sweat on his shirt, and still a little bit on his head and his arms. He looked at me, and then he nodded to me thankfully. I nodded back to him, and then I walked over to the sofa that I was sitting at earlier. I could still see Ashleys blood on the wall, but it did not make me feel sick this time now that I knew she was safe.

I looked at the the sun, it was still early in the morning, 7:15 if I had to guess... So we were not out there for all that long, maybe 45 minutes if I had to take my best guess. I looked over at Tanner as I heard him speaking to me.

"I'm going to go check and see if the council survived... You just stay inside."