My troubled heart

Myself-Let's walk.

Daniel-But where are we going?

Myself-Somewhere especial. You used to like it a lot.

Daniel-I used to like???[Daniel is thinking ]

Myself- We are almost there. [I held his hand and pulled him a bit . ] Come on ...

We are standing in front of Wonder Park. It's a theme park. A lot of people are here. Although ...today is not weekend.

Myself-You wait here and I will buy the tickets.[I went to the ticket counter. Two girls are whispering beside me.]

"Hey, look at that guy. He is so cool! Did you see his eyes? Is he a modeller? His hair is also blue. Maybe he is a pop star??" , Two girls are whispering among them. How dare they talk about MY Daniel !! Ohh... I shouldn't be angry. Although they are praising my beautiful boy! Awww! My boy ?? What! Eve, stop thinking stupid thoughts. Just do what you were going to do.

Myself-I bought two tickets.. [Daniel is looking worried. He is sweating a lot. As if he is gonna faint. I rushed to him and looked his face closely] What happened? Why are you sweating?

Daniel-I...I was .. looking for you. But ... I couldn't reach you through my sense .. I thought ...[He is stammering. Indeed he is terrified! I pulled him close to me and hugged him tightly. I started patting Daniel's back ]

Myself-Stupid, I am not gonna leave you. It was a silly thing to get worried about. I know I made a mistake earlier, but its all in the past. You silly !! [It feels so good to hug Daniel. I think I can stay forever like this. Suddenly I felt something hard and warm touching my back and squeezing my cloth. Oh my ...its Daniel's hand. He wasn't holding me a while ago. Suddenly he wrapped me with both hands. It's getting really weird. Everyone is looking at us and whispering. Of course... it's a public place.

Myself-It's okay now. Let's go..we are getting late. We have to face the crowd otherwise. [I pushed him. Anyway, he wasn't going to let me go on his own.]

As expected, the whole place is crowded and there are big lines in front of every ride. So we went to a store at first. It was my lucky day. They were selling Honey Bear products !! My favourite mascot. Woohoo!! We bought two Honey Bear dolls and two dresses for us and changed. Although The dress was mostly because of Daniel. We took a lot of pictures together. It was so much fun !! We had to wait and we got to enter in three rides. It seemed Daniel enjoyed every ride. On the other hand..my situation was...not good. I have heightophobia..so my condition can be guessed easily.

Daniel- Let's go to that ride, it looks pretty exciting. [Daniel is looking at the roller coaster. Oh my... I am gonna die if this goes on. I am already feeling dizzy and my whole body is shaking. It was hard work to handle two dolls while riding. So we changed them for a big one . ]

Myself-Wait...I don't have the strength anymore. Let's sit somewhere . I need to pause.

Daniel-Are you somehow afraid?

Myself-A..afraid ..haha ..no, not at all. Maybe..just a little?

Daniel- I remember someone told me that "I am not afraid of anything. Count on me ."

Myself-That was a long time ago. I have become older now. Situation changes.

Daniel- Yeah...I can see how old you have become [Seriously! That was just three rides. ]

Myself-Why? Don't you feel the fear of falling down while you were riding? Don't you feel the fear of being up that high? Even I don't have the guts to look down.

Daniel-No...I don't feel anything. The rides were really fast, that's all.

Great. I am stupid. Sometimes I also forget that Daniel is not a human. So it's natural not to feel the gravitational force.

Myself-Well, that's because you don't have any heart like us. To be more specific, You don't have a brain and neurons. That's why...[It's great not to have these things sometimes. At least you don't have to feel anything. You will feel like God who has neutral feelings. Especially ..when you are a student and the time of your exam result. Horrifying period of my life .]

Daniel-Heart, you say? [Daniel touched his chest ]When I hugged you earlier ..something in here of your body was beating fast. It was like a drum. Even I could feel the beat. Was that..your HEART??[Kinda excited] Does it beat like that always?

He felt that. It was beating fast because Daniel was hugging me. I kinda remembered the previous night. That's why... I was embarrassed and nervous at the same time.

Myself-Yeah ..it was. And it was beating at normal speed!

Daniel-Oh...[Daniel is looking depressed. I shouldn't have brought up the 'heart matter'. Why does it always happen with me ?]

Myself-Let's go to the ride you were talking about.

Daniel-But what about your condition?

Myself-Say again? I am not that weak. Now let's go.

And I ended up vomiting. I am never going to force myself. It's almost night. I think we should go now. Daniel was quite happy today. Well, something ended nicely. I am happy that Daniel could enjoy himself.

Daniel-Hey Evie...What is that? It's going slowly and so huge. [Daniel is pointing at the Ferris wheel]

Myself-Oh..that's the Ferris wheel. Don't you remember? When I was little and I rode it with my brother, I think you were there with me.

Daniel-Maybe..you never used to think about me every time. Especially when you were enjoying yourself a lot. [Well that last comment pierced my heart. Daniel is still wondering looking at it ]

Myself-[Sigh!] It can't be helped. Let's go ride the Ferris wheel.

Daniel-Whoa..what? In your current condition? Don't push yourself.

Myself- I am not pushing, you idiot! It's moving so slow and we will be in a box. So there's nothing to be afraid about. Now don't talk and move.

I am not gonna look down .. I am not gonna look down. That's right. It will be okay. We got on the ride. It's getting up higher and higher. Daniel is looking outside and me? Well ..I am looking at his face. Suddenly he turned to me.

Daniel-Pfft. Look at your face.

Myself-Yeah, yeah, enjoy yourself.

Daniel stopped laughing and got up from his seat.

Myself-Hey, don't get up suddenly. It's moving.

Daniel-Whoops .. my fault.[He slowly came to me and sat beside me. He pulled me close to him and held me tightly. Even for a little bit ...I feel safe. Having Daniel with me .. I feel safe. Maybe it's his warmth or something else. But this feeling? It's great. We are at the top now and unknowingly I am almost near the door. Although the one sitting just beside the door is Daniel.

Daniel-Look ..isn't it beautiful, Evie? The whole city. The lights.

Yeah. It was a great view. A soothing and calm view of the city night. It's so silent in here. If we were on the road ..it would have been something else. But from here it's completely different.

Myself-Yeah, it is. Last time I saw it in broad daylight. But its completely a different view at night.

Daniel-Hmm.. at least with you .. I think.

What ?? Don't say something so serious in an easy tone. My heart will pop out. Daniel looked at me.

Daniel-Are you feeling well? Why is your face red? If you are feeling unwell then close your eyes. You don't have to look outside.

No, I want to look. I want to look outside but not your face. Turn away, please. For my dear heart's sake!

Myself-I...I ..I'm fine. You d.. don't have to worry. Look that way. [I moved his head toward the door.]Just don't look at me.

Daniel-Hehe..alright. I won't.

[Sigh!] Today surely is a big day. Every moment is making me tired. I want to rest a bit. But ..on the other hand, I don't want this moment to end. I am confused. The confused heart is a great threat. What should I do with this troubled heart of mine ??