A Broken Heart

    It was the toughest day for me. I did not work at all. I couldn't concentrate. My life, job, houserents everything was already fucked up, But it was all ok against heart break. I was crying the whole day, I did not want to go home, but also I could not go to the Office garden to cry. Denver would definitely visit there today, I went to an alcohol shop first and purchased a bottle of blended whisky, and reached the beach. I was crying hard, taking a sip of whisky, I couldn't stop crying, I don't exactly what I was crying for, losing Denver or getting betrayed or feeling guilty towards Austin. 

    "I am sorry", I heard voice, it was Denver's,

    "Let me die in peace, leave" I replied without looking at him. He sat beside me on sand.

    "I am sorry, I had no wrong intention to hide it." He said, looking where I was looking at, Ocean.

    I did not reply. I just don't want to see his face, I kept taking a sip of whisky. He snatched the bottle from me. I did not resist. I did not want to share any connection with him, I did not want to feel his existence here. 

    "Listen, it was just because I heard you talking to that supervisor last time, I came to know you have mistaken me as an employee, maybe because of all the circumstances around. But when we came to know each other I thought maybe you will not be comfortable talking to me because I am the boss of Lucas, and also because of all those stuff you said to Austin about Lucas's boss, I kept it hidden. But it was never like I did not want to share it with you. You would come to know it anyway from Lucas, or any other staff, so it was never like I tried to misrepresent you or something. I was going to tell you soon, but before that, that son of bitch Austin ruined it all." He kept talking, convincing me, taking sip after sip from my bottle.

    "The person you call a son of bitch is thousands times better than you," I replied, angrily, getting up and leaving the beach.

    "Please don't leave" He followed me, and held my him

    "You said, I need to listen to you once, it's done. Leave me alone. You don't deserve me." I stopped walking and replied looking into his eyes. I removed my hand from his and walked faster.

    "I am dropping you home" He said, holding my hand and pulling me towards the parking site. 

    "In the same car, which you lied to be your boss's?" I asked pulling my hand back, and continued "You know what, Someone have said it correctly, never believe in your ears, Lucas told me all those good stuff about you, because he may have not seen your real side."

     I walked towards Taxi Stop. He went to the Parking site. I stepped in Taxi, telling the driver my address.

    I know Denver tried hard to convince me about hiding his truth from me, Also this all was not because of him only, mistaking him to be his boss was initiated by me. It was me who declared him to be an employee in my mind. He just used my mistake to tease me. But He did not say anything about his casual feeling about making out with me last night. 

    When he kissed me last night, I felt something from his side too, I felt his kiss was not a casual thing only, Hence I kissed him back. But maybe as I am mistaken about his identity, I may also have mistaken about his feelings too. 

    I saw him following my taxi with his car. I did not want to make a scene, we both were already drunk enough. I did not stop the taxi. We reached my place. I stepped out of the taxi, and moved towards the entry gate. Denver stepped out and followed me and pulled me by his side.He snatched my bag and picked the phone out of it.

    "Keep it On" switching on the phone he said, gnashing his anger. 

    "Who are you to command me like that?" I asked, looking back into his eyes.

    "At least not your loser ex boyfriend, Keep it on, otherwise, I will be at your place immediately at the moment you switch it off" He handed me over my phone firmly, and waited there until I reached my room. I saw him through the window, looking upwards at me. And he left.

    I saw my mobile screen showing "74 Unread Messages" I know, those all were from Denver. But those texts he sent since last night are meaningless for me now. He said shortly already what he wanted to say to me. Now nothing could be changed. Also I had no courage to face his same statement again, I deleted all the texts I received from him, without seeing it. I was already broke enough, I did not want my parts to get broke more.

                                                                                              ***

    It's 1.30 pm, each minute in this office is being difficult for me, I am not able to face Austin, though we already broke, and also I had cleared myself of not coming back to him ever, but I don't want him to know all these in this way. On other hand Denver will surely come here to make a scene. I really don't want him to come, last night I had applied for leave for some days, but the ADC Team rejected it. Yeah, my service graph is not as good as Linda that they will grant me leave on this short intimation.

    I need to talk to Austin about everything. I texted him, "Lunch together?"

    "can't" He replied after a while.

    "Please" I texted him back. He did not reply.  I saw him coming from the entry, He smiled and went to his cabin. I immediately followed him. "May I come in?" I asked, standing at the door of his cabin.

    "Yes sure" He replied with a smiling face. 

    "You did not reply" I asked, shocked about his normal behavior, I expected him to avoid me, or behave cheesy, at least not how he is behaving right now.

    "Oh, actually I was in the conference room, Network issue" he said normally, keeping papers he came with in the drawer.

    "I need to talk to you," I said straight, stopping him from doing his stuff.

    "Go ahead, I am listening." He replied, with a wider smile on his face.

    "Can you please stop behaving like this first?" I screamed, frustrated.

    "Listen I did not know that Denver is the owner of the agency, I met him. We met several times, we became close to each other, but I seriously did not know he was the same person I talked about. Even when he used to come here as a technician, I never knew he is the owner, and we are not dating at all" I said all in one breath, in a convincing and nervous tone."

    "Great" He replied, and went back doing his stuff.

    "I am sorry" I said with my voice numb.

    "Why?, Why are you sorry? And why are you telling me all this?" He replied, looking at me.

    "I just want you to know, I did not hide anything from you, neither lied, I just felt sorry, so I said." I replied, still in my voice numb and looking away from him.    

    "Its okk, I know he is not the owner, I saw his photo in agreement with ADC." 

    "Really?, you never told me" I replied shockingly.

    "I did not know you guys were close, I thought you will come to know soon, at last how long man can hide his identity" He replied. Looking into some files.

    "Then why did you say all this yesterday, I mean if you thought this, then why?"

    "I saw him coming again with technician drama and all so I thought this is it, you should know everything."

    "I am sorry Austin, and Thank you" I replied looking down, with my voice almost crying. 

    "See, don't be formal. We were already broke, I told you already my feelings are my problem, I kept trying for me not for  you, I knew we can't be together ever but in future I did not want to regret that I let you go twice." He sounds sad. I did not know how to react to what he said, his being more nicer was making me fall more into my own eyes. I remained silent. He saw a teardrop falling from my eye. He asked, "Do you love him"

    "No, No" I replied immediately, slowly wiping my tears.

    "See if you are saying this for me not to get hurt, so it won't help, I am already broken in thousands, I want to hear this now. So I can be sure that there is no place for me in your life." he said straight holding my hand, trying to make me stop crying. He asked again, "Do you love him?" 

    "I don't know Austin, I Don't know, I liked Denver, We were close, But he did not mean anything, He said it all on my face. He lied about his identity, I don't know whether I love him or hate him" I said crying, wiping my tears.

    "Stop crying please." He said, moving the tissue box towards me

    I took one tissue, and wiped my chick.

    "So we are on the same path now," Austin continued. 

    "What?" I looked at him, trying to figure out what he exactly meant.

    "We both are with broken hearts, incomplete love stories, what you did to me, you faced the same." Austin said it looking away from me, smiling sarcastically.

    "So you are happy about all this. Great" I said, raising my voice, frustrated.

    "I am not happy, but I think somewhere you deserved this. I cried for you and now you are crying for someone else." I said it in a vanilla tone, straight looking into my wet eyes.

    "Thank you for letting me know what I deserved". I left his cabin, immediately.

    I think, somewhere he was right, I used the same words for him, I did not feel anything about him and all, so Denver used the same for me, this is what we call Karma is.

                                                                                                ***

    I applied for sick leaves. It's been 2 days I have isolated myself at home.  I am continuously getting missed calls from Denver and some missed calls from Lucas too. Maybe Denver asked him to call me.

    I heard my phone ringing again. I had not charged it for the last 3 days. It switched off before I could look who's call it was. 

    Maybe even god does not want me to talk with anyone. After me visiting Austin's cabin, It would be impossible for me to go back to work, Linda is already on leave for a long vacation. Whatever happened since the last few days, I couldn't even look at the mirror properly. Facing Austin and Denver is impossible for me. Maybe this is the time to write a resignation though I would have to return my last 6 months payments back to ADC as per bond I signed, But I will manage, I will get a temporary job in Frido, and move in with Emily aunt for some days. But it would be still better than facing Denver and Austin together.

    I switched my Laptop on to send a Resignation Email to the ADC, My doorbell rang, I tried to see through the door hole, I saw Denver waiting for me, I wondered how the guard allowed him in the building. I opened the door. He immediately sneaked in and pulled me inside shutting the door.

    "What the hell are you doing? Get out" I screamed on him.