F@lling

I wake up

I feeling this warmth on my chest

She is laying there so peaceful

And I can't help but hold her closer

Maybe this is what actual love is

Or I'm going to fade finding what it is

My phone buzzes

I answer and it's my mum letting me know that our food is ready

I look at the time and see it's only 9 am

I kiss her forehead and she flutters her eyes

I wonder were she has gone off too

And if her dream land is as beautiful as she looks right now

I tell her it's time to eat

"Mmmm food" slips from her mouth

I give her

sweat that are still on the floor where I took them down

It's like I was dreaming

Her wetness her warmth

Her whole body against mine

I can't help but feel tingly

She walks down stairs as fine as can be

And I'm star struck by her movement

The rest of the day is pretty chill

We drive to her house to pick up her car

Come back to my house

We go to school she keeps leaning into me

She is super cute in her cheerleader outfit

And I'm staring at this angel of mine

With her brown eyes and her brown hair

Falling so gracefully in her face when she laughs

Her breath smells like mint

And her lips taste like cherries

I think I'm falling by the time her birthday comes

As planed the cake is ready

And me and my mum even buy her present

This week was like walking on clouds

And although we didn't sleep with each other again

I was glad to feel her next to me

To feel her comforting breathing

Her sweet kisses in the morning

I'm going to miss this when she has to go

I'm gonna miss her smell

That has now left an impact on my bedroom

How did I ever go so long with out living

With someone as sweet as honey

And so unbelievably gorgeous

I couldn't help but hold her closer when she had her bags in her car

Her mum has called her 5 times

And finally she lets me go

"I'll see you tomorrow,

MOVIES!" She shouts as she is answering her phone

And just like that she is in her car going back home

I walk inside

My mother is staring at me

"Still just friends or has a girl finally cracked the code to your heart"

She smiles big and goofy

I'm feeling to much right now that I was afraid of feeling

My phone buzzes

And part of me is hoping

It's her texts

But it's not

It's Cheryl

A girl from home

And Dav

There coming to visit

I have decided not to tell my mother

Because these two shits maybe my friends

But we have done a lot of fucked up shit together

And the love I use to write about was used to get

A girl to fall in love with me

And yeah I feel for her

But I was a complete sick to her around my friends

I made her feel worthless

I did all this

Just to find her lying on her floor

She took her life that night

And didn't even say nothing but

She wasn't good enough for this world

And just like that

I can't let this happen to my

Star. I could never damage her like this.

So I don't tell her either.