I Don't Need You... I Don't Want You...

A burning feeling ignited the blood in Carmela's veins as she stared at the tall drunk boy in front of her. He swayed as he stepped closer, breathing heavy.

"T-Tae? What are you doing here..." She breathed, staring at his lips right in front of her eyes. They were inches apart but she doubted he could hear her over the loud music.

"Hell, Carmela... now, the real question is... what the fuck're YOU doin here." He raised his eyebrows as he slurred into Carmela's ear.

"I-- what do you mean?" Her heart pounded inside her chest, as she gazed at Tae's handsome face. Somehow, he looked sexier like this: his blood shot eyes, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his swollen rosy lips, and his strong flushed jaw.

"What do I mean? Hell, Carmela! Don't you have work tomorrow? Why're you drinkin and fuckin around with that twit, huh?" His voice became angry, but Carmela was angry too.

He was such a bloody hypocrite! Like do you not see yourself right now?

Carmela raised her chin up at him, her lips getting closer to his.

"Oh and you're definitely  not drunk and partying in a club right now, huh?" 

"That... that doesn't matter! At least I'm not fuckin around with a pervert!" 

"Are you kidding me right now? What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you getting mad at me for literally no reason?" 

"Because! Why... why are you... why are you with... him? Do you..." His voice broke and his eyes softened. Carmela thought he was about to cry.

Wait... he... he was upset... because she was on a date... oh my god, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THOUGH?!

"But... w-why do you care who I'm with?" She said softly. She could feel his hot breath on her skin and felt a tingle of pleasure inside her body.

"Why do I care? Why do I care? I don't care. I-- I don't know what I'm doin right now. But maybe its because I can't stop thinkin about you... the way you reacted when Roxana told you... I can't figure it out, Carmela... what's happening to me?" 

Carmela sucked in a breath, and her eyes went blurry as she sank into a dreamy daze. She closed her eyes for a second and her face tingled, excited at how close his mouth was to her nose. She gazed at him through her thick lashes, and leaned in closer to his lips, just millimeters away. She whispered against his hot mouth. 

 "Tae... you're drunk right now. I'm drunk too... we probably won't even remember this... and I really wanna tell you something... I can't stop thinkin about you too... I had no fuckin clue that you--"

"Ever since..." His deep voice rumbled through her, "Ever since that day in the locker room... I feel fuckin crazy... you turn me on so bad  Carmela..."  

It was hard for her to breath, just staring at him and listening to those words come out of his gorgeous mouth. She could see bits of his white teeth behind his lips and she leaned up closer. Their mouths were half a millimeter apart, but Carmela was too nervous to make a move...

"I... I don't know what it is... but I know what I'm feelin right now. And all I'm thinkin is... I just wanna fuckin kiss her."  He hissed as Carmela's legs wobbled.

The room was dancing around them, glittering people, moving to music, circling them, but Carmela didn't notice them anymore. She could only see the messy hair and soft lips of the drunk boy in front of her.

She touched her fingers to his hands, and slid them up his muscular arms, all the way up and around his neck. He gently put his large hand on her hip, and tilted his head, breathing on top of her lips, still millimeters away. 

Just fucking kiss me already...

He brought his thumb to her cheek. Carmela felt the soft surface of his parted lips brush over her mouth, and she shivered with pleasure. His red eyes burned through her and she felt her face flush with excitement and impatience. How... how was she so turned on? How was playing around so sexy with him...

Just as Carmela was about to forget it all and melt her lips against his, a shriek erupted behind Tae.

"TAEHYUNG!" 

Tae's hands slid off of Carmela, and she shivered on the spot as the heat of his body disappeared. He turned around as a young platinum-haired woman stepped beside them. 

Roxana looked between them, and Carmela felt her stomach knot with confusion and dissapointment. No. Please don't tell me...

"Tae, what do you think you're doing? I know you're drunk right now, but playing around with RANDOM girls isn't right. You could break their hearts." 

Her cold blue eyes pierced through Carmela. Wait... didn't Tae say that their 'relationship' ended? Then why--

"Come on Tae. You didn't call me here for nothing. Let's go upstairs." Roxana smirked at Tae, and grabbed his hand. He looked at their joined hands, and then glanced at Carmela with hooded eyes.

"Carmela... listen, I can explain--"

"What?" Carmela forced her mouth into a drunk smile. "Tae, we are both hella drunk right now! This literally meant nothing." She turned to Roxana. "Sorry, Roxana. I hope I didn't ruin your... relationship. This won't happen again." 

Roxana looked surprised, but nodded and pulled Tae by the hand through the crowd. He looked behind at Carmela, with hurt eyes, as he disappeared between the dancing people and faded into the flashing purple lights.

Carmela let out a shaky breath and clutched her forehead, closing her eyes. It felt like there was a giant hole ripped in her heart, and her body ached. She glanced around at the laughing people and suddenly felt dizzy. She scrambled around and weaved between the crowd, trying to reach the exit door. 

Roxana said they were going upstairs. What the fuck were they gonna do... that wasn't fair... if he had called Roxana here, then why? Why did he come up to her like that? 

Carmela felt her nose sting and hot tears gushed down her face as she pushed the door open. The cold air of the night made her wet skin prickle and she put her face in her hands, leaning against the wall, shaking with drunken sobs. 

He was... he was right there... right in front of her. His lips were millimeters away, and he said... he said he couldn't stop thinking about her, she turned him on, he wanted to kiss her.

She shivered and lifted her face from her hands, sniffling and trying to catch her breath. Whatever. He was with Roxana. He was drunk. It didn't matter what he said. That asshole. That gorgeous, kind-hearted asshole... NO CARMELA. You've got to control yourself. This was coming. Carmela knew this was coming. How was it possible for a man not to hurt her? That's just what they were there for. Hurting people and breaking their hearts. 

Well, she wouldn't let her heart get broken. Ever. Especially not by that bastard.

She roughly wiped her face, and let out an angry, shaky breath. She pulled out her phone from her purse and led herself to a bus stop. She felt exposed and cold in the red party dress, but she didn't want to disturb Jerome so late, and Hosi was pissed at her right now. 

The bus pulled up in front of her after a few minutes and Carmela dragged herself on, feeling everyone's eyes burn into her. She knew she looked disheveled and fucked up, but that doesn't mean they had to stare like a bunch of preschoolers. What? Never seen an imperfect girl with messy hair and rubbed off makeup? 

She stared at all of them in the eye, each of them, one by one as she walked down the isle, and they immediately looked away. 

But then she spotted a woman. Her brown hair was in a high bun and her eyes were caked with black mascara and white ear buds were plugged in her pierced ears. She looked so familiar, and Carmela racked her drunk brain for a memory. 

Carmela sat beside her, trying not to stare, but the woman noticed and pulled out an ear bud. Her thin face stretched into a wide smile.

"Hello there! Can I help--?" Her smile froze for a second and she grinned even wider, "Hey! Carmela Lee right? I was a judge for your audition at GreatKick Entertainment!" 

"Yes! I knew you looked familiar! It's nice to see you." Carmela tried to keep her voice even, and hope the woman didn't notice she had been crying.

"Aw! It's so nice to see you to see you too! I'm Jade." 

"Do you work for GreatKick, Jade?"

"No, no! I do contemporary dancing at an academy. I was called to be a judge for the choreographer auditions. A friend of mine recommended me, actually. I think you know him, since you got the job. Taehyung?"

Carmela's heart dropped at the sound of his name, but she kept her expression steady.

"Yeah, I do know him. How do you guys know each other?"

"Oh, we were friends in school, and he used to go to the academy I'm at right now. But then something happened with his family and he had to quit. The fees were just too tough." Jade said. She looked nervous all of a sudden, and fiddled with the ear bud cord attached to her phone.

"Ah. I don't mean to be snoopy, but what happened with his family?" 

"Um... I think you should ask him personally. It wouldn't feel right if I told you all about his past, haha!" 

"You're right, sorry. He did tell me about his mom, though."

"He did? Wow. Are you two close?" Jade turned in her seat to Carmela, surprised.

"Close? Ha, no we're not close! The topic just came up, I guess..." Carmela muttered. 

It seemed like Tae didn't talk much about his family's past. Why did he tell me then? I did tell him about my mom though. Yeah, makes sense.

The bus came to a stop, and Jade got her things together.

"Well, this is me. It was so nice to see you again, Carmela! You're absolutely wonderful! I hope you and Tae get along well! He's really an amazing person, once you get to know him." Jade said, smiling and standing up.

"Tae is? Hm. I'll keep that in mind, thanks. I hope we see each other again, Jade!" Carmela smiled and Jade stepped off the bus. 

Carmela leaned back in her seat, and her mind drifted to the club again as she closed her eyes. She thought of Tae's words and his touch, and the growl in his voice when he said he wanted to kiss her... but then Roxana came and dragged him away. Upstairs... to the rooms...

She felt tears trying to escape from her shut eyelids, and tried to control her breathing.

Go to hell, Taehyung. I don't need you. I don't want you.