Chapter 4: Coffee Run (Part 1)

Carlos would have loved to say that the next five days passed uneventfully, but it was quickly becoming clear that uneventful days didn't exist in Night Vale. Luckily, three days had passed without anything being thrown at him or his team, so that was an improvement. People still called him an interloper, but only a handful in an aggressive way. The rest seemed to use it as greeting or nickname. In fact, he was kind of into it. Carlos the interloper, had a nice ring to it.

There was only one real problem right in that moment and that was Cecil, the radio host. He just wouldn't stop talking about him, which was kind of sweet in a weird sort of way. So much positive attention in an environment that was hostile at worse and indifferent at best. It was just the way he talked. He kept talking about Carlos' hair and how he loved him. Carlos was sure that it wasn't possible for someone to fall in love without so much as conversation. Then again, he'd never really been in love, not properly at least, so maybe he just didn't know. It was his area of expertise.

"He talks about everyone, sweetie." Said Josie as they shopped for groceries. Carlos had been too scared to shop alone after the barking incident at the Ralph's, so after two days of starvation he'd asked Josie if she needed any help with her shopping in the hope he could pick up some stuff for himself while he was at it. She didn't, but she must have caught on to his plan because she offered to go with him. The two were walking down the aisles with separate carts when he finally mentioned Cecil.

"Like that?" He asked doubtfully.

"No, not like that. Well, there was this one guy but that was a very long time ago. But his radio show is often a weird mix of news and free thought. You know he's a pretty neat guy. Maybe you should give him a shot."

"I'm sure he is, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now." Carlos replied, shaking his head. Even if Cecil turned out to be amazing it would be nearly impossible to keep a real connection after the year was up. It would be unfair on the poor guy.

"Well I wouldn't worry about it too much." She shrugged. "Cecil's kind of like a puppy; yappy, loyal, and pretty easily distracted. Give it three days and I'll be talking about dragons or something."

Three days later and Carlos was still waiting.

"It's weird. It's so weird. Like I know he doesn't seem to think it's weird, but like…it's really, really weird." He ranted to his co-workers.

"Oh, you want to talk about weird? Today we find a house that doesn't exist." Said Robin.

"A house that doesn't exist? What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, it looks like it exists and it's next to two identical houses so it would make sense for it to exist." Explained Jess.

"But?"

"It doesn't exist."

"Huh…hey, Marsha did you know about this?" asked Carlos.

"Yeah." Marsha replied as she poured a test tube of blue liquid into a beaker filled with green. This was Marsha's new pass time. Mr Markson had never given anyone specific directions, so they were all doing their own thing. Marsha's thing was mixing random chemicals together to see what would happen. Everyone was waiting for this to blow up in her face, quite literally. The beaker began to fix and spill onto the table, but it quickly calmed down. Carlos, Robin, and Jess sighed with relief. They survived another day. "You would have known to if you'd shut up and stopped talking about the radio host."

"It's just weird, okay." He mumbled. "So, what are we going to do about this house?"

"What do you think we should do?" Asked Robin.

"Have you gone in?"

"Doors locked. Pretty sure someone lives there." Said Marsha.

"Someone lives in house that doesn't exist?"

"Yeah, so don't come talked to us about weird." She groaned.

"Well, have you knocked?"

"No dude, you knock." Robin scoffed.

"Will you at least come with me?" he asked.

"Why? You scared?"

"No." Carlos lied. "Are you?"

"…Whatever, dude. Could you go get coffee?" Robin deflected.

"Sure." Carlos sighed as he picked up Robin's plastic cup along with his own. "Anyone else want anything?" As soon as he asked two plastic cups hit his face and dropped to the floor. He sighed again and picked them up. Zero, zero days without anything being thrown at him.

Getting coffee in Night Vale was surprisingly easy compared to everything else. There were plenty of coffee shops to choose from, so they were all extremely competitive. Plus, they actually displayed their prices in a currency Carlos understood. He collected the four coffees from the counter and attempted to awkwardly balance them, holding the steady between his arms and his chest and slowly burning himself in the process.

"Are you okay?" Asked the Barista.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." He winced. He used his shoulder to push the door open and head out onto the street. Why didn't he just ask Robin if he could borrow his car? He was one who wanted coffee after all. Still, it was too late now. Besides, he had bigger problems, such as the angry group of eight, not quite big enough to be a mob but just large enough to make Carlos to feel unsafe, rapidly heading towards him.

"Down with the interloper." The shouted in unison.

"Oh for goodness sa-" Carlos didn't get a chance to finish his thought before they scooped him up into air and started carrying him without stopping.

Carlos didn't put a fight as they carried him down the street. They'd done the same thing to Jess and Marsha and each time the group had quickly got bored and put them down. He sighed and prayed they wouldn't take him too far. He wanted to stay close to the coffee shop since he was going to have to buy everything again. The cups were on the ground and the contents were all over his shirt. At least he could get the cups back.

They'd made it about five doors down when Carlos spotted him from across the street, the man with the beautiful eyes. He was sitting on a bench, listening to music, when they locked eyes. He immediately rose to his feet and crossed the street without looking. It was a really good job Night Vale didn't have heavy traffic. As he got closer, Carlos noticed the man's intricate purple tattoos that twisted and turned down his arms and around his wrists. God he was beautiful. Carlos mentally maintained that he wasn't on the dating scene, but he was more than happy to window shop.

Until the man opened his mouth.

"Hey, where are you going with perfect Carlos?" He scowled. "You're going to scare him off."

Well, he sure wasn't wrong, this would certainly scare most people off. Unfortunately, it wasn't like Carlos could leave if he wanted to.

"Ah, you must be Cecil." Said Carlos.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" He asked in a much softer tone than he'd used with the group.

"Down with the interloper." The group shouted.

"I can tell by your voice. You're the radio host." Carlos continued as if nothing was happening. Cecil was jogging besides him as they continued their little walk. Maybe being carried down the street was just a normal interaction in Night Vale.

"Oh…you listen to that, huh?" Cecil blushed.

"Of course, it's a great way of getting the news here."

"Down with the interloper." The group repeated.

"Down with me." Carlos grumbled back. As if it was an order the group let go, causing Carlos to drop fast, and walked away in separate directions as if nothing had ever happened. Carlos hit the ground hard. He screwed up his face and tried to fight back tears as a dull pain spread through his back and shoulders.

"Oh my God, Carlos are you okay?" Cecil exclaimed.

"I'm fine." He groaned.

"Here, let me help you up." Cecil offered his hand and pulled Carlos to his feet. His hands were so soft.

"Thank you." Carlos replied as he brushed himself down. A nasty cut on his elbow was bleeding through his shirt. Mixed with the coffee, that particular item of clothing was going to be the washing machine for a long time.

"Come on, I'll get you a napkin and some more coffee. I know this really great place. You and your team are going to love it."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I can just-"

"Please, I insist. Think of it as a thank you for being a loyal listener." Cecil smiled.

"A loyal listener of five days?" Carlos chuckled.

"Precisely." Cecil nodded. Carlos sighed and looked back at the pile of abandoned cups. Cecil certainly seemed a lot more normal in real life than on the radio. They'd both been taken by each other's looks and Cecil, having the power of the radio on his side, had just got a little carried away. There was no reason the two couldn't be get along.

"Sure." Carlos shrugged. "Why not?"

"Awesome." Cecil grinned as he lightly grabbed Carlos' hand. "Let's go."

"Um, Cecil…the cups." Carlos protested as he was pulled in the other direction. Cecil kept going, already lost in his own little world. Carlos smirked. He'd get the cups later.