Chapter Six

Gracie saw a lot of hospitals, in the year that followed that night, lots of pastel coloured walls, lots of gurneys and dressing gowns, GP's offices and pharmacies. The initial stay in hospital was two weeks. She'd suffered a broken jaw, as well as two broken ribs and bruised kidneys. She felt the kidneys the most, when she tried to move, nausea filling her like instantly like a jug of water being filled to the brim at once.

There were follow up appointments, at the hospital, and then the GP. And then, six months after that night, came the stay at the psychiatric ward. She'd broken down at college, shouting at a non-existent figure.

"I'm sorry! Leave me alone, please, just leave me alone! Go, go be at peace! Please!"

Gracie had seen Alex. Had been seeing her, for a few months, it turned out. They put her on meds, antipsychotics. Gracie was released, finished her A-Levels, and went into the Great Beyond of life, which so far, had essentially been the same as the Great Before. Sitting around at home, reading, miserably waiting for her mother to find a reason to start an argument.

"I miss her." Gracie would say only that, for weeks after her release. "I miss her so much." Gracie ached for Alex. But coming to terms with the fact that, nothing you say- nothing you do will bring someone back. The guilt, the sympathetic eyes that didn't witness what Gracie did.

There was nothing she could do.