Back and Forth

I biked home and ran straight up to my room. Today was strange, just like every other day, Billy was in my life. I couldn't help but wish I was stuck in the upside-down.

And yet, I was so excited.

I ran to my mirror and took a look at myself. If I changed, would Billy even notice? Or would it be so evident that he would just tease me?

I wore a short sleeve turtle neck and a down coat, and my curls were down. One last look in the mirror, maybe just a little mascara and lipstick. I had a cute nude that wouldn't be obvious.

I slammed my makeup down and slumped on the vanity. Why did I care? This was Billy, the bully, the man who told me he didn't care. So why did I?

Then memories of a chubby grin from a boy with curly hair rushed through me. I thought of Billy so much... how could I let him go? Seriously how? I need to figure this out.

I then grabbed my homework and sat out on the porch. Maybe if I distract myself, I could forget. However, despite all my efforts, my eyes kept falling on my watch… and then the road.

Right at four, I heard the engine rev and the distorted base of a radio. My heart jumped, but my brain kept me composed. I watched as the car pulled up in front of my house and ran a hand through my curls in some effort to shake out my nervous energy. Maybe I should have put it in braids, it was going to be a mess if I kept doing that. And I most certainly would if I was with Billy.

"Hey, Curls," He said with a smile.

"Mullet," I responded, closing my homework and letting it slip onto the wicker coffee table.

"You going to just stand there or get in?" Billy said as he got out of the car.

I sighed as I pushed myself up. "Ma, I am going out for a while,"

"Be safe Genie Bean,"

I walked up to the car, and Billy had the door open, waiting for me.

"So what, you are nice to me now?" I said.

"I am always nice to you, Curls," He said.

I poked his face with a bewildered stare,

"Hey, what the hell?" Billy caught my finger lightly,

"I am trying to figure out if you are a clone or not," I said. "You seem life-like-"

Billy squeezed my finger lightly, a small smile tugged on his lips. "I get it, now will you get in the car?"

I pursed my lips and thought about it, "Will you keep being nice?"

"Just get in," Billy rolled his eyes.

I shrugged and got in the car. The sun dollar was still hanging from his dashboard. Which made me feel better.

He took off without another word, cruising towards the heart of town.

"So," I said, struggling to make conversation. "How was your first day?"

"Fine, I think they like me," Billy teased. "How was Robby?" His tone made me know Billy couldn't give a damn about Ricky.

"Ricky," I gave a flat look and then put on a sarcastic smile. "He is great, SO great. We are actually going to get our names tattooed on each other and then ride off into the sunset."

Billy shot me a glare before reaching for his cigarettes. "I am serious." He was irritated, but so was I… This leveled the playing field, I guess.

"What if I was too?" I shot him another look. "You don't know me after all, I could be the type of girl who does that,"

"Gene," He warned.

"Fine. Relax, Billy," I faced him. "We really are just friends. It's nice to have someone to talk to,"

"What about Jonathan? What happened to him?" Billy pressed.

I shrugged as Billy lit a cigarette. "He tends to stick by himself at school… plus, I am not going to make him sit there with Steve and Nancy." I then paused. "How do you know about Jonathan?"

Billy's Jaw tightened, and he gripped the wheel. "He came to our house, or do you forget that?"

"Oh right," I relaxed. "If you like Jonathan, why did you offer to take me to the party?"

"I got my reasons," Billy hissed. "That is all I am saying,"

"One day, I'm going to ask a question, and you will just give me a straight answer," I rolled my eyes, earning a smirk from Billy.

"I do answer questions, just not all of them," He shrugged. "Ask me another,"

"Fine," I folded my arms and turned to the window, "Will you at least tell me where we are going?"

"Right… do you really just get into a random guys care not knowing where he is going? What if I tried something?" Billy gave me a disapproving stare,

"First of all,… you aren't random, I think I can trust you just a little," I smiled to myself, as much as I got angry with him, I still loved the little boy on the beach. "And secondly, you hate me. You are the last person who would try something on,"

Billy was quiet for a long moment. I looked over at him to see his handsome features distorted with an unknown expression. What was he thinking about? Whatever it was, Billy pushed it away after a moment. "You keep insisting this place isn't horrible. Take me to somewhere fun." He stated.

I looked at Billy for a moment and began to smile.

"Stop that, or I will turn around." He said flatly.

"Okay… I know just the place," I contained my happiness to the rhythmic tapping of my fingers. "Keep going straight,"

The quarry wasn't far. And the entrance was off the beaten path. "You can park anywhere."

"Where did you bring me Curls?"

"The Quarry" I got out of the car and left my jacket in the car. "BestLet'sce in the town, if you ask me,"

I kept my back to Billy while I picked up rocks on the bank. I wondered if he remembered that day where I beat him at rock skipping, probably not. "Whether its to be alone… to smoke, drink. This is where I go,"

"Anyone else come here?" Billy called.

"For a while, everyone did." I turned back to him. My stomach did a flip when I saw him smiling at me. He was walking closer to and was slow and deliberate. "Then," I stammered. "A boy… went missing. Everyone thought he drowned here." I took a step closer to him without thinking. "All the kids thought the quarry was spooky after that."

"Even though he came back?"

I sighed. "God, you have been here a day, and someone already told you?" I pushed my hair back. "Its nothing against you… I just wish people would stop talking about it."

"Isn't that when… you got in an accident or something."

I nodded, I wasn't expecting him to know about the accident, but I wanted to tell him. "Yeah… they found him the same night I was flung from my bike and … slammed into a jagged rock,"

This wasn't my lie, but the government's. In fact, they had a list of answers I memorized.

"Who … who was driving?"

"No one… it was my fault, the rain was bad. I didn't care. Ricky and I got into a fight,"

"Who found you?" Billy murmured. "Ricky?"

This was the first time Billy used his name, something about that was worrisome.

"Uh, no..." I laughed. "He knew better than to go after me... Steve found me actually,"

He didn't say anything, but I turned my face back to the quarry. "This view though… I know people are spooked, but it's worth it."

"It's Beautiful," Billy said as his hand lightly pressed on the small of my back. I took a shallow breath before I turned to him, leaning into the touch. Billy was looking right at me, for a moment we just stared at each other. His eyes then shifted to the water. "It's quiet too… no waves."

I nodded. "You noticed too? Yeah, there is no tide here… but have to admit California didn't have this last time I was there."

Billy pulled his hand away and took a step from me. "You think one not so shitty Quarry makes up for California?"

I bit my cheek and took a step back as well. "I didn't say that-"

"But, you were planning for this to win me over, right?" Billy stepped away from me. "That I would suddenly love Indiana?"

I opened my mouth and closed it, there was nothing I could say to Billy. "whatever. Let's just go." I stomped to the car and slammed the door shut. From the front seat, it looked like Billy was pissed too. I heard him swear as he looked out to the water. What happened? Things… they were perfect, in the brief moment I found myself totally comfortable with Billy, and now we were fighting. He turned back to me, and we locked eyes, and I stopped breathing for a moment. Billy could hook me so quickly, the determined frown that made me want to melt. He began to walk to the car. The closer Billy got, the more I realized he was walking to my side of the vehicle.

The door swung over, and he leaned against it. "Time to get out of the car Gene,"

"Why?"

"There is a path you wanted to show me, right?"

I looked over at him. "How do you know that?"

He paused. "I have eyes, Curls." Neither of us moved. "Look… I miss California… it wasn't 6 years ago for me, it was a month."

I looked up at Billy to see his face was softer, "So… if I snap about it… that's why." He paused. "It's not about you... I promise,"

I had a feeling that was the closest I would get to an apology I was going to get. "Now, are you going to show me this path, or pout in the car." He teased. I could tell he was trying to make me smile.

I nodded and smirked. I could see Billy's eyes light up when I did. "You don't have to go down it if you don't want to."

"Now or never Curls" He held a hand up too me.

I smiled a little at him and took his hand. It was calloused but also warm. My hand buzzed as Billy squeezed it gently. When I was out of the car, he pulled away gradually but deliberately tracing my fingers to the tips.

**

"So you only have one shake place," Billy said. "I thought Carol was joking."

Carol. I pushed away the annoyance I felt in my stomach when he said her name. "No, not this time," I answered as I sipped on my shake. We sat in the diner.

"At least they know how to make a burger," He said.

"Billy," I gasped.

"What?"

"You said something positive." I tossed a fry into my mouth and smirked. "Maybe I should get you an 'I HEART HAWKINS' t-shirt,"

"Shut up, Gene." He pulled his wallet out. I knew this time he wasn't irate, just grumpy. "Anyone can do a burger."

I reached for my bag, but Billy kicked it over. "Don't even try it Curls,"

"It's really fine-"

"Don't. Try. It." Billy said, this time slowly. I sighed and folded my arms, admitting defeat. "There we go," He grinned.

"Don't push it, Mullet,"

Billy continued to grin as he got out of the booth to pick up my bag. "Let's get you home," he said.

The ride from the diner to my house was fun. I felt like I was talking to my old friend. The person I wrote letters to.

"Well…" I smiled back at him as I got to my door. "I had… a lot of fun tonight Billy,"

He looked at me for a moment and gave me a tight smile. "I did too, curls. I will see you tomorrow,"

"Okay," I grinned.

I went upstairs and ran to bed. I began to jump around in my room. Things were finally coming back together.

The next morning I was excited. I threw on a sweater and a pair of jeans. I let my hair down and put on a lipstick. Simple, but I loved it.

Jon drove me to school today. It gave us time to talk.

"So," I shot Jonathan a sly look, "Are you coming to the party tonight?"

"No," Jonathan said. "Someone has to watch-" Jonathan closed his mouth and looked in the rearview, Will was drawing. "You know,"

"I don't," I shrugged. "Jonathan, you have to at least try to move on," I said.

"Like you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Just you said you would be moving on from Billy," Jonathan shrugged. "And who is taking you to Tina's party,"

"Okay, fair," I rolled my eyes. "But I have had a week, you have had a year,"

Jonathan shifted. "You deserve to at least experience Highschool Jonathan,"

Jonathan nodded but kept his eyes on the road. "I will think about it, is that good enough for you?"

"For now,"

The rest of the ride to school was light, I was too excited to dive into anything. Once in class, I was practically bouncing on my seat when Billy finally arrived. "Hey," I said.

"Hey, Curls," His tone was cold.

"Did you… do the homework" I struggled to say something.

"Yup," He said as he held up a folded piece of paper. "Wanna know if I wipe after I take a crap too?"

I swallowed. "Sorry." I sat back in

"Sorry," And there was my gentle friend again. "Rough morning."

"Your dad?"

Before he could answer, the bell rang. I couldn't help but feel worried about him the whole morning. Even in the bathroom with Nancy.

"Has he spoken to you yet?" Nancy asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I shook my head. "But we don't have any classes… so."

The door opened, and Carol stepped in. Time to leave, I guess.

"Hey Sha- Gene," Carol stopped herself from using my nickname. I guess Billy's word had become law overnight. "Just the girl I wanted to see."

Oh, please tell me she isn't going to be sweet now. "What's going on?"

"You know I thought you and Billy were a thing."

"Oh… no," I scoffed. "He … no"

Her smile twisted, I had a feeling I stepped into her trap. "I figured. But I asked Billy, you know I get curious. And when he explained it all, everything made sense." She turned to the mirror.

"Wha…What did he say" I didn't know why I asked, I knew she was waiting for that.

"Oh, he told me about his father's stupid rule," She said, making sure not to look me in the eye. "You know how he can only go to this party if you go with him. It's so funny that his father thinks that means he will actually stay with you for more than a few seconds."

I opened my mouth and closed it. "Oh," Carol presented me with an innocent smile. "Did he not tell you? … you didn't like him, did you?"

Everything made sense. How Billy asked me about parties that one night, and how he took me around town yesterday. I thought we were reconnecting, but this? I was so stupid. But I was going to be damned if I let anyone see that.

"Why would I even care?" I responded with either the best poker face I ever had in my life or the worst. "I told Billy he could just say he brought me, but I guess he is too scared to do that." I stomped passed her with Nancy at my heels.

"Genie." She whispered. "Genie, where are you going?"

"To tell that fucker he can stick it," I snarled. I was not going to play the fool. Billy could go stick it where the sun don't shine for all I cared. When I found Billy, I saw him with some girl. It was fitting. Fucking fitting. As I approached, Billy's attention focused on me. He must have known I was out for blood because he sent her away with little thought.

"What's with the glare, Curls." He teased. I would have been impressed with how calm he seemed, the asshat probably thought I was an oblivious idiot. Just the thought made me angrier.

"Fuck you, Billy," I put my hands on my hips and took one last look at his dumbstruck face. "Don't even think of coming to get me for the party tonight."

I turned on my heel. Don't cry, Don't, Cry. Please Don't cry. "Hey, HEY," Billy grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. "What the hell has gotten into you?" He searched my face, seeming desperate for an answer. This only fueled my anger, like he cared.

"Did you tell Carol the only reason you said you would take me to the party was so your dad would give you permission?" I asked.

Bill froze. "Gene-"

"Pretty simple question Billy." I shrugged. "Yes or no?"

Billy continued to stare in silence, but I didn't need to hear and answer. "Fuck you." I spat. "You can tell your dad whatever, just leave me alone." I tried to push away, but he held me tighter.

I saw a wild look rush in his eyes. There was so much emotion, but I couldn't read any of it. "I will be at your place at 7. Be there," He growled.

"Fuck. You."

"Gene." He said. "Just fucking be there, and I tell you what actually happened" He let me go and stomped off.

"Gene," Nancy came up to me and touched my shoulder.

"He didn't hurt me," I said. "He didn't try…"

"Are you going to meet him tonight?"

"NO," I said. "I will come to yours, and we can drive to the party together."

"Hey…" Steve appeared. "I heard Billy was yelling at you?" He was revved up. Perfect. My cousin was not going to make this situation better.

"It's fine. Nothing new," I said bluntly.

"Did you figure out what you were going as…"

I nodded. "Though… can you iron my hair?"

"Sure, but why… you hate it."

"My curls… I don't want to think about them… Its Halloween. Its time to be someone else." I turned to them both and smile. "And I am going to be just that,"

I flashed a wicked smile as I grabbed my things. "See you guys after school," I headed to class. As I walked up the steps, I realized that it was my Free. I had my free with Billy.

I turned on my heel and walked out. I could skip twice in a row.