Chapter ten

The Autobiography of Lola

Writer in the dark song by Lorde

Chapter ten

12:15 pm

"Were you ever close?" Ayo blurts out. I know who he's talking about but the truth is, after Mom called me about five times just some minutes ago, this question is a good distraction... just a tiny bit. I stuff my phone in my pocket again and look at Ayo. "I mean your brother, were you close?"

"I know," I say as we pass a police car parked by the curb and give him a half shrug. "He was eight. Not the kid who relates to people. Loves his own company."

"Gentle kid, yea?" he turns to me.

In an alternate world though, I imagine Demola is alive and thirteen now, with a passion for something... anything. I imagine we all make it to the United States as a happy family with none of my parents hating me. It's never going to happen though because the past is the past, and it's all in my head and now, my future awaits me because that is in my hands.

"Gentle kid," I give him a nod, hoping he'll change the subject but when he stays quiet, I decide to take over. "So... if you were given a chance to make a change that will have the biggest positive impact, what will it be?" I ask but it's too late before realizing this question will lead back to me.

"To stand up to my dad," he clenches his teeth and for that period, I see how angry he is. "Let him know I'm not Seun." The vein on the side of his head is visible now and it seems like any moment, Ayo will explode. "You?"

He relaxes his jaw and turns to me. "What change do you wish for?"

"Turn back the ends of time," his face falls and for the longest seconds of my life, we say nothing. "A time machine or something just to make things normal again."

For the rest of the walk, Ayo says K2, the kart track is only a few minutes walk from Snarky, so he asks my favorite color and I tell him black which leads to more questions. "We have that in common, but what changed? Your style was colorful."

"People change" is all I say.

"If you could create a weird scenario, what would it be?" he throws another question.

"When we die, we have no choice but to return as babies,"  Ayo glances at me, his mouth purses but slightly opens and loose. He frowns, looks above my head as if in thought then fixes his gaze on me again. "And when we return as babies, we cry because we remember our lives as an adult and we have to compulsorily start another life again."

"That's scary, " he chuckles. "You're weird."

We weave through the labyrinth of roads, the paths eventually converge and unveil where we are going. The place looks more like an office building, a very large office building with brightly colored yellow metallic letterings hung on the top of the building.

"You ready to have the best moment of your life?" Ayo winks at me then, puts his hand at the small of my back as we follow a few people going into the building.

The indoor go-kart is better than I imagined. It's not all Karts and tracks. The wall behind the counter is designed like a black and white chessboard with framed photos of people driving. Behind the counter is the girl with the platinum hair, the one who saved me from almost getting run over by a car. She's tapping away on her phone, but once she sees us, she puts it away. She's in a blue polo shirt with a name tag that reads Phoebe.

"Oh! We meet again. Welcome to K-2," Phoebe says, dragging the two with a cheerful voice. Her cheeks form two cute dimples that compliment her round face. She pulls a drawer and pushes flyer toward us. "We've got a whole load of fun things to do here. Kart racing, food, and drinks VR arcade and games of snooker."

The only thing I can do is smile at her. I can't get over the rush of excitement gushing from her lips. But it's safe to say I'm glad someone cared enough to save me even though that's the last thing I want.

"Yea...." Ayo turns to me, then back to Phoebe. "We'll go Karting. I'm racing. She's here to watch."

"No food and drinks?" Phoebe asks. "Games of snooker is fun too you know?"

Ayo slips me a curious glance. "Snooker for the lady?"

I snort and shake my head.

Phoebe claps. There's so much energy radiating through her and sincerely, the world needs more people like her and fewer people like me. Gosh, no negative thoughts here, Lola. "Cool. If you change your mind, let me know."

"Alright, let's bounce."

Ayo takes the flyer and ticket from Phoebe and we wander through a long hallway with more picture frames of racers. I keep reminding myself to free my mind of anything depressing even though it doesn't really work. My soul is still empty and my body is weak.

We stop right at an opening that leads to a space with tracks that intersects like a maze. The place buzzed with happy screams, laughter, and roaring kart engines. One guy around my age steps out of a kart and fist bumps the air like he's just won a trophy or something. But when I see some guys in helmets hand over some cash to him, I know he's won a bet.

We march towards a woman with curly fro handing over helmets to a line of people. Ayo wears a helmet which makes him look like an actual racer with all the black he's wearing.

"Watch and enjoy," he smiles then starts the kart. At that moment, I want to copy him, be brave like him and race but I stay put.

For the first few minutes of racing, Ayo shouts as he takes each sharp turn. I know he's having fun and I also know he wants to impress me. Initially, my heart thunders whenever he takes a higher speed but soon, my fear dissolves. Ayo is having a good time and the least I can do is shout to encourage him.

"Go, Go," I laugh, clapping each time he passes my spot and he sticks a tongue out at me. It's crazy how someone so lively is Seun's brother.

Ayo is fun to be around and this has nothing to do with me jumping into conclusion. I feel his vibe already and there's a big, solid difference between his and Seun's attitude. Seun sees negativity in everything, he is negativity himself, but Ayo just wants to have fun.

I waste no time and dig for my camera to take a shot. Even though my camera won't be important to me after tonight, I may as well document these moments and give him the pictures tonight.

A couple of minutes later, Ayo stops the kart. I beam at him and he returns mine with a proud grin. We thank the instructor for her help and step out.

"You had fun, right?" I say.

"It would be more fun if you raced," Ayo says as we pass Phoebe and leave.

"I enjoyed myself."

"You weren't driving," he smiles but it falters when he looks at me. I see guilt cross his face before looking down at his feet. "It's no big deal that you didn't."

Trying to lighten the mood, I smirk and say, "Seriously?" I stop, cross my arms over my chest, and jut my hip out. "Just 'cause I'm scared of driving doesn't mean I can't take you down in a one on one game."

His features brighten and I can tell he's grateful I didn't take his words personally. "For real? You think you're that good?"

"Try me."

"Oh, yea?"

We return into K-2 but three things happen before we reach Phoebe.

1. My mom rings my phone and I reject her calls which earns me a look from Ayo.

2. Seun sends three of my pictures to me with a text that says: 'these will be uploaded on twitter.' The three pictures weren't the same ones they put in my locker, this time, they are nude pictures I sent him when things were good between us.

3. My head is light and my heart is void.

I stumble backward, and it takes every effort in me to put my phone in my jean pocket. The longer we wait the more my stomach tightens, so I keep swallowing, and my throat keeps clenching, but no matter what I do, nausea rises through my chest.

I can't face this. Even in death, my nudes will be everywhere, but one thing is certain now, I won't be around and dying seems like a pleasing idea in my head.

I stumble again but this time, someone wraps their hands around my shoulders to keep me from falling.