•|Chapter Three|•

Last Warning: It gets Triggering at the end, and after this triggering things may happen at any momment, you have been warned.

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August 26, 2017

"Hey, mom? Can I go to the mall with Seira and Carry today?" I asked, as she typed away on her computer.

"Mhm."

" Well, can I borrow twenty dollars?"

"Autumn, I'm busy. Go to your father," she snapped. Sighing I walked out to the garage.

" Dad?" I called over the football game.

" What!" He yelled, not turning the television down. I walked over to the corner with the ratty rocking chair infront of a plasma flat screen TV.

"Dad, can I go to the mall with Seira and Carry?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just go," he shooed me away.

"Can I borrow twenty dollars?" I inquired, still standing next to him so that way he could hear me.

"God Damnit Autumn! Just go away already! Can't you see I'm busy?" He yelled at me. The anger in his eyes was very promanate as he looked at me. It was then that I noticed he had a beer in his hand.

I walked out, holding back my tears. I was about to knock on Keivin's door before I remembered that he was at basketball camp until next week. Sighing I walked out of my house to the Kenner's.

Twenty minutes later I stood outside waiting for Seira to come. Looking up, I notice a cloud shaped like a whale before I'm taken into a huge hug from the side.

"Hey!" Carry yelled in my ear.

"Hey, could you let go? It's hard to breathe."

"Yeah, sorry. So, how's it been? Miss me?"

"It's been. Keivin's at camp till next week. I've been bored. I've missed you though."

"Autumn," she sternly said, "tell me the truth."

"The truth? The truth is I've been terrible. I lost one of my best friends, my brothers not home, you left me, and we're starting school soon. How am I supposed to be okay through all of this?" I started to raise my voice, feeling the tears come to my eyes.

"Shhhhh, I know." Carry wrapped me in one of her big hugs that made me feel like I was hugging a pillow.

"How were you the past month, touring the country and all."

"Let's see, stuck in a camper with my dad, grandma, and two cousins. We weren't allowed to have phones. I was getting nagged at by my dad. And lastly, my father wouldn't let me call you, or even come home early after what happened. So I'd say my summer was shit."

"Are you sure I can't poison him?" Don't get me wrong Carry's dad was a nice fellow, he owned three small car shops in town. He was a nice person. He just didn't know when to not mention something serious, like Carry's weight.

"No, as much as I hate him I still love the sperm donor bastard that I call my father."

I was about to say something when Seira walked out.

"Carry!" She yelled when she cought sight of her. "You're back, how are you?"

"I'm doing okay, you?"

"Fine," she shrugged her shoulders. "So, let's get this show on the road. Once we turned towards Carry's car, Seira instantly took off running to it, well a person by it. Scott. I gave Carry a questioning look, and she just shrugged.

"He said he wanted to come, so I let him. He's not going to do anything Aut, you know this."

"Yes, but others could be at the mall. You know how he acts around his friends."

" I know, just deal with it okay? He says he's trying to be better."

" Okay," and with that we reached the car. I gave Scott a tight lipped smile before climbing into the back seat with Seira.

~

We had been in Macy's for two hours before Carry and Seira were done. While I loved the girl time, I disliked Macy's. I don't know why, because you'll find the same clothes at other store's. I just didn't like Macy's.

"Let's go get something to eat," Seira suggested.

"Okay," Carry and I chimed. Weirdly Scott hadn't talked a lot, except to tell Carry if he like the outfit or not, which most of them he loved.

Once we were at the food court, Carry and Seira went to wait in the long line for food. Scott and I sat down at a table.

"Why didn't you get anything?" He asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't like Macy's," I simply stated.

"Oh. Well, why aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," I said. How could I tell him that I didn't have any money with me? He would either laugh or take me on as a charity case.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, really. Why? Aren't you hungry" What was he trying to get at?

" Nothing, it's just in the time that I've known you you've always ate. You even get everyone else to eat if they aren't going to. I don't like anything they serve here."

"Let's see, I only forced four people to eat that I can remember. One of which was suffering with depression who didn't care for his health much, and is now dead. Carry, because she wasn't that comfortable in her body and wanted to lose weight. Seira, because she is borderline anorexic. And my brother, because he forgets to eat at times because he's either playing video games or playing basketball," I explained. "So, I'm sorry if I'm trying to help out the ones I care about."

"I didn't mean to offend you. I was just curious as to why you're always putting yourself out there to help others if you aren't going to follow through on what you're telling them to do. Seira's anorexic?"

"No, but she's borderline. She has her good days, but most of them she tries everything she can to not gain any weight. Watch her come back with a small chicken salad and only eat half."

"I had no idea," his eyes downcast at the table.

" Not many do. She hides it well. She's been getting worse though. Her mom suspects something, but she just think it's because she's still dealing with his death." All of a sudden his eyes went dark and he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. He seemed empty and void compared to just a few seconds ago.

"Hey Scott!" Someone called.

He was stiff. His back was straighten out, but it still looked like he was casually sitting down.

"Hey John." Wait, John?

If John's here, then that must mean that the others are here. And if the others are here, that means Scott's going to be a dick. And if Scott's a dick, then the others start too. Why me? Why was this my fucking luck?

"Ready for practice Monday?" Drew joined in.

"Yeah, I'm still a little sore from Thursday though."

"Aye, be glad you skipped Friday. Oh, Coach wasn't happy by the way."

"Figures," he rolled his eyes.

"So, doing some charity work I see?" Marci asked raising a perfect eyebrow.

"Yup." He smiled a little.

"So Auto, how are you feeling? You know, now that your keepers gone and all," Brooke asked. That name was so stupid. Couldn't they grow up?

"Stop," Scott ordered, shocking everyone.

"What? She just asked little Auto a simple question," Mason said. "Don't tell me you're actually enjoying the time here with her? There is no need to lie to us, we know she's a charity for you to get closer with that whale you've been trying to win over."

"Shut up." Scott's voice was filled with anger.

"What? She'll find out sooner or later. I just thought it would be sooner, I mean this thing has been going on for what? Two years now? I'm starting to think you lost track of what your goal was," Mason said.

"He probably has. He's gone soft. I mean why else would he be hanging out with Auto?" Brooke narrowed her eyes at him.

"What are they talking about?" I ask him.

"Nothing, they were just leaving," he spat.

"What? Don't want Auto to know?"

"Hey!" Carry called out, walking with two trays in her hands tords us.

"Here comes the whale," Brook muttered and Mason chuckled. Scott sent them a glare.

"Come on, let's go," he demanded to Carry, trying to drag her with him.

" What? No. Why? Don't you want to hang with your friends for a little?" She asked.

"No, I just really want to leave."

"Well let sat least sit down and eat," she sidestepped him, taking the empty seat next to me, while Seira sat down on the other side of me. Just like I predicted, she got a small salad.

"Come on man, just chill." Drew was one of the cooler ones out of there group, and he was also closer to Scott than the others.

"Just stop wasting your time, he wants to be a little bitch, let him be one. Let's go," Brooke stated, sashaying away.

"What was that all about?" Carry asked.

"I don't know," I quickly shoved one of her fries in my mouth when she looked at Scott.

~

We've been at the mall for six hours, and went in most of the stores. The sun was starting to set and Seria and Carry were looking inside of Victoria Secrets while I stayed outside with Scott. Well, stayed where I last saw him. He took off ten minutes ago, but I could honestly care less about him.

"Here Autumn, take it." Scott ordered me, shoving a bag in my hands from Tim Horton's. Looking inside I see a donut.

"What? No. I'm not accepting it."

"Autumn, you need to eat. Did you even eat breakfast?" I was in shock. Scott had never cared about weather I ate or not.

"I'm still full from breakfast," I tell him, but he's not buying it.

"What did you eat for breakfast?" He crossed his arms, causing his muscles to pop out from his sweat-shirt.

"A pop-tart," I whisper casting my eyes down on the ground.

"Exactly. It's been ten plus hours. You need to eat something, and don't just say you'll eat when you get home because we will probably stay here until the mall closes.

I sighed, "fine."

As I was half way done with the donut Scott looked around before asking, "Seira only ate a salad like you said, and even then she only ate half of it. It looked like it was a small."

"No, really?" I rolled my eyes.

He sighed. " You said it earlier, but I just...I want to know when it all started?" His eyebrows furrowed. " Why would she do that do herself, to everyone who loves her?"

"Its been going on for a while now. I'm the only one she told, because she got really scared one time when Brendan had left for a weekend to go on some stupid camping trip. Haily was pulling a triple shift, just to come home for a few hours and then pull a double the next day. She just, she had things going on."

"Was it a boy?" Why did he want to know so much about her?

"Why do you want to know?" This was unlike him. He normally didn't want to know about anyone else. He was fine with silence.

"I need to tell you some—."

"Okay, one last store. I promise," Carry came out with a new bag on her arm filled with stuff from Victorious Secret. "We can eat afterwards."

With that we all followed Carry as she led us to the next adventure.

~

We got home a little after eleven. I slowly crept inside, so that way I didn't wake my parents. I was passing the living room when my dad called out to me.

"Where were you?" He asked, his words slurring.

"I was at the mall with Carry." He obviously had been drinking all day.

"For the whole day? Ha! No. You were out with some boy weren't you? You were fucking some asshole? Well let me tell you, if you get knocked up your fucking out! You fucking brat, you're a disappointment. Your mother should've aborted you," he spat in my face.

I tried to remind myself that it's just the alcohol talking, that he doesn't actually think that of me. But I just couldn't help but feel that maybe that's what he thought of me.

"I wa-"

"No! Get in your room Autumn! You want to be a worthless whore, you'll be treated like one!"

I could feel the tears come up into my eyes as I walked down the tiny hallway to my room. I locked the white door, then I fell to the floor.

He didn't mean it, he's just drunk. Right? No. No he meant it. Drunk thoughts are what you harbor on the inside. Drunk words are how that person really feels.

I couldn't help it, his words just kept repeating in my mind. Worthless. Disappointment. Whore. Worthless. Disappointment. Whore. Worthless. Disappointment. Whore. Worthless. Disappointment. Whore.

Over and over and over again.

I don't know how long I sat on the floor crying before I went over to my closet and pulled out the box that I had buried. The phrase "Out of sight, out of mind" was true, that is until you remember it and are drawn into the thing that you hid. Like nothing could break you out of your trance before getting the thing you are after.

I slowly opened the tiny wooden box. The metal blades shimmered in the moonlight.

I slowly ran my finger across one of the blades, my breath hitching at the feeling of the cold metal.

I was clean for two months, did I really want to throw it all away?

I breathed in deeply before I grabbed one of the blades, and ran it across my hips.