CHAPTER 19

XAVIER'S POV

She had to stay away from me. I was a loser with absolutely no future.

She deserved someone better; someone who wanted to live.

I didn't want to hurt her. It wasn't my intention to, anyways. But it was the only way I could get her to leave me.

No one is happy with me. I was nothing but this black hole. I took away other's happiness. My mum is stressed because of me. My sisters don't have a father because of me. Nicole ran away because of me.

Hell, even I'm not happy with myself. Then how could Ophelia be?

I saw the pain in her eyes as the tears made her eyes glassy. I wanted to hug her. Wipe off those tears and apologize repeatedly but that would've been selfish of me.

When my mum came home, her shoulders were shrugged with stress. She rubbed her eyes and forehead. She looked up and saw me. She put on a smile on her face.

"Where's Ophelia? Wasn't she going to have dinner here?"

Concern filled her eyes as she stared at my face.

"She had to go back. Her parents wanted her home."

I didn't want her to worry about my issues.

"Oh, alright. Invite her again, okay? I like that girl. Where are the twins?"

I don't think you're gonna see her around, mum. I already caused her enough pain.

"Yeah. The twins are sound sleep in their room."

She removed her shoes and walked towards their room while rubbing her shoulders.

I sat there in utter silence as the sadness inside me celebrated another victory. It had once again made me lose someone important to me.

After dinner, I went back to my room. I could still smell her peach shampoo in my sweatshirt. It was probably the only thing I'd left of her. I removed the sweat shirt and threw it in the dryer.

I wanted her to forget me and the only way she could do that was if I forgot her. It was better that way.

She was better off without a murderer like me in her life.

I got into my bed with one thing running in my head.

I didn't smoke that night.

Sleep didn't visit me that night. I got out of my bed and grabbed a book from my shelf. As I opened the book, a photo fell out. It was of the whole family. We all looked so happy. We actually were happy but everything changed once my dad began drinking.

FLASHBACK:

"Henry, please don't pull the trigger. I am sorry I didn't tell you about the babies. Please don't shoot me. We can work it out. Please don't." My mum's voice was dripped in fear. I saw my dad holding the gun with his shaky hands. He tripped over the coffee table we kept in front of the couch.

The gun fell out of his hands as my mum asked me to go inside.

Dad was going to shoot my mum if I didn't take the gun. I quickly ran over to his half unconscious body and grabbed the gun.

"Xavier, just go back to your room. Your dad and I are just talking. Don't worry. Just give me the gun and go back to your room. You are mama's good boy, right?"

Talking, mum, talking? I wasn't 5 anymore. I knew what was happening. My dad's eyes opened as he tried to get up. His gruff voice filled the room.

"Boy, give me that gun. Let me complete my work. That woman doesn't deserve to be alive. Pass me that gun."

There was no way in hell I was going to give him the gun. If I gave him the gun, I was basically giving up my mum's life.

"No dad I won't give you the gun. You can not shoot my mum. Stay there or I'll shoot you."

His face was filled with shock. But in less than a half second he began laughing like a maniac.

"Shoot me? You are a soft boy, Xavier. You will never shoot your own father. You don't have that strength. Just give me the gun."

He moved forward as I held the gun tight and pointed it at him.

"I said, don't move!"

He shook his head as he took another step forward. My fingers held the gun tightly as I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

The bullet punched its way through his neck, causing a gaping hole in its wake that quickly filled with blood and gushed out. My dad fell to the ground, a pool of blood forming around him and soaked into his clothes.

FLASHBACK OVER

The loud scream of my mum still haunts me till this day.

I kept the book away and laid back on my bed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.