CHAPTER 149

XAVIER'S POV

For every time my demons took over, I had a heart that was shattered into pieces that were too many to glue together.

For every time I lost in my head, I lost a person I loved in my heart.

This heartbreak feels cold. It feels like concrete drying in my chest. This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Why is that?

Why does this feel so bad.

Isn't this what I wanted?

We broke up so she could build up instead of breaking down.

I stop pulling my hair, as the pain it inflicts doesn't make me feel anything. It's almost numb. I sigh, knowing at least Ophelia would be happier wherever she would be now. She didn't need someone like me to pull her down. 

She didn't need someone who couldn't even stand on his own. I was supposed to help her stand strong. How can I do that when I can't even do it on my own?