MewTwo & Bugz

MewTwo cracked another beer and fumed.

This whole thing was makin her fuckin mad.

And as if Ikora hadn't made her mad enough, now her damn acid reflux was gonna start actin up.

Her chest was burnin like a campfire, and she needed some damn Tums or some Rolaids.

She wished that she hadn't eaten them habanero spare ribs and tater salad for dinner.

"I ain't worthless, MewTwo," Ikora said. "I can get me a job down at the Dollar General. I know me some folks that work there. Bet they could get me on. Shit, in a couple months I might even be a supervisor making a whole eight dollars an hour."

"You stupid little bitch!" MewTwo said, picking up a couple biscuits left over from their mornin biscuits and gravy and chunked them at her. "You as damn stupid as that homie pokie Tress! That bitch has got seven chitlins born by seven different studs. She's tryin to feed seven fuckin young uns on minimum wage she makes down at the Yummy Burger. You're that stupid, Ikora."

"I can take of myself!" Ikora said, getting to her feet.

"No, you cain't," MewTwo said, slamming her ham fist down on the table. "And you sit yer little stank ass down before I take yer little stank ass down. Your choice."

Ikora sat.

Back in the shed, Bugz had been joined by Zavala and his sister NipNip.

Man, that NipNip bitch had some nice tits.

Even nicer when they were all good and baked like they were now.

They'd come pretty quick when Bugz had told them he was breaking into his emergency stash.

Smoking from the e-stash is a rare opportunity that only comes along once in a weed drought.

"I don't understand," Bugz said, smoking a cigarette and acting far more flamboyant than he probably intended, "why both men and women have titties."

"What?" Zavala asked. "Dude, you're fucking blitzed."

"No, I'm being serious here," Bugz replied. "Women have titties to breast feed the young, but what purpose do they serve on men? Can men even breast feed a baby?"

"I don't know, Bugz," NipNip said, snickering. "Why don't you go ask someone if you can breast feed their baby and see how that works out for you. Or I can take a nice wholesome suckle on your perkie little nubs and see who's little boy stands up first."

NipNip and Zavala both started laughing, which pissed Bugz off.

"Don't fucking laugh at me, man," he said. "I'm talking real shit here. It's like, if women have boobies and men have boobies, did men have tits once too and they just lost them over trillions of years of evolution?"

"You're fucking retarded man," Zavala said, taking a long hit off the joint. "Why you thinkin bout men having titties anyway?"

Before Bugz could answer, his phone rang.

It was MewTwo.

Shit.

He jumped up and walked outside the shed so that she wouldn't hear his two guests.

She didn't like it when people came to visit.

"Yes, dear?" he asked.

"Yer fuckin sister in law," she snarled at him.

"What about her?"

"She goan get her ass a fuckin job, and it sure as hell ain't goan be at no Dollar General, and she gonna move her fuckin ass out. I ain't payin to support that little bitch."

Bugz didn't want to argue with her that a fifteen-year old cannot move out on their own.

"Yes, dear," he said.

"She got one month to get a fuckin paycheck in my hand so you can buy us some fuckin groceries. I ain't about to go hungry cause of that little twat. I'll eat her...Yeah, that's right, you heard me, Ikora. I'll fucking eat you alive... I don't give a damn how hard the police look for your bones when I dissolve them bitches in lye. Get your trashy white ass away from me before I chain you up in the outhouse... Don't fucking touch her, Bugz. If you lay one hand on her, I swear I will cut your dick off and feed it to Fuzzikins."

Fuzzikins was the little pomeranian she carried with her everywhere she went.

The dog had long given up trying to escape her massive bosoms and had basically just succumbed to its fate. 

Every time Bugz saw the dog, there was a look in its eyes that was begging for someone to kill it and give it some peace.

"Yes, dear," he said.

Fucking bitch.

She hung up without another word and Bugz went back to his cloud of smoke.

He was glad the conversation had ended when it did and that MewTwo hadn't had any plans for him.

Zavala had just opened the Cheetos and he wanted to get himself a handful or two.

He was fucking hungry.

MewTwo stood in the bedroom on the second floor and watched Bugz by the shed.

The smoke was pouring out of the place.

He'd no doubt invited that trashy ho bitch NipNip and her dumbass brother Zavala over to smoke and probably do other things.

She didn't know if he was fucking around with NipNip or Zavala, but she was positive he was fucking one of them. 

Hell, he might be fucking both of them, the queer.

She walked from the window, rubbing at her inner thigh, right up by her taco.

She couldn't wear them damn underwear no more.

She was so big that puttin em on would be hard, gettin em off would be harder, and with her diabetes when she had to pee she had to fucking piss like a racehorse.

She didn't have time to fight with the mother fuckers.

So she was naked under her muu muu, and man did it cause her to chafe sumthin bad.

She really felt it where her bodacious thighs rubbed together when she walked.

That's why she spent most of her time sitting.

She went into the bathroom and settled down onto her reinforced toilet.

As she released the catch of the day in a large brown spray accompanied by a very long and audible wet noise, she thought about Bugz.

She remembered when he useta be a cashier at Big Taco. 

She'd come in in her nicest maternity pants (back when she could still wear maternity pants) and bat her lashes at him.

She'd order the 64 ounce Diet Pibb.

Diet cause she'd been watchin her figure.

He'd hand her her drink and bag of twelve tacos (all for her) and tell her she was the purtiest thang he ever saw.

That was back when she'd thought he was a man, back before he'd lost his fuckin balls and turned into a snivelin pussy.

They useta go out to the junk yard in Bugz's old yella truck and dance beneath the light of the trash fires to ASMR music.

They used to go through the drive thru, and he'd surprise her by spending the extra fifty cents to get her the large onion rings.

He was so thoughtful and romantic like that.

Sometimes he'd even pay for em to get into one movie, then treat her by helping her to sneak into another movie she wanted to see.

Now she fuckin hated him.

As she got in the shower to clean the shit from her ass (because she no longer had the ability to reach and clean it by hand) she realized that she hadn't watched her stories today.

That's okay.

They were all recorded every day, along with Dukes of Hazzard repeats, old episodes of Hee Haw, anything involving Elvis, and The Price is Right.

She used to watch Jerry Springer, but she found them people to be too uncivilized for her liking.

She was way more sophisticated than any o them freaks, tell you what.

She decided that she'd forgo makin Bugz have sex with her tonight.

Gosh darn it, where were the day's she used to stand up at the mirror and take pictures of herself for him.

God damn it those days be gone.