Chapter Two

There it was: The Stock Pot Inn. It was only a minute or so to walk to the place from the mayor's office, and Madame Aroma told Link that Kafei's fiance Anju was the receptionist for the inn. Link had promptly made his way over, and according to the clock it was only five minutes until noon.

Inside, he saw a book lying on the ground and a bookcase next to it. Conveniently enough, there was a single open space about a book wide at the very top of the bookshelf, one that Link just barely couldn't reach. It was no biggie though— he just threw on his Goron mask and put the book back, now even taller than the bookcase itself.

Surveying the room, he found that the receptionist was nowhere to be found. He thought that surely no one would nag him for taking a look around as long as he didn't do anything bad. He walked past the counter and around the stairs, and suddenly the smell of some incredibly good smelling soup passed by his nostrils. Like any normal boy, he followed it.

The kitchen in the back contained an island counter in the middle and a wood fire stove to the right, where a pretty girl with mid-length brown hair was slaving away over some soup. Link thought for a moment about how to approach her, then decided to just knock. Which he did, but there was no door, so knocking on the wall would have to suffice.

At the sound of Link's knock, the girl turned and gasped. Link was confused at why she looked more scared than startled, but he decided not to address it.

"I'm sorry if—"

Link realized by the sound of his voice that he had forgotten to take off the Goron mask he'd put on.

"—I-I'm sorry if I startled you, but I was just looking for the receptionist and there was no one there. I looked around and found you by the smell of your soup."

Anju gave him a slightly forced smile, and began to stir her soup again. "Yes, I'm sorry..."

Link clasped his hands embarrassedly, tapping his foot. He decided it would be a good idea to leave and come back as human Link so he didn't REALLY scare her. "Um, I'll come back later, I apologise for—"

"Oh nonononono! You're fine sir! Please just wait a bit, I'll help you! I just have to make some lunch for my gramma or she'll get picky about what time she eats."

Link grinned. "Oh, I understand completely. With the way that smells, I'd probably want to eat sooner too. In fact, you could probably be a cafeteria here and make lots of profit."

Anju turned and pointed at him as if he'd reminded her of something. "You know, the Stock Pot used to BE a cafeteria before my father passed away. Now we get by on the room renting service we used to have as a side business to the cafeteria. After all, I'm not a very good cook."

Link waived her comment. "I'm sure it's incredible."

A sudden knock from the other side of the wall followed by some muffled yelling startled Anju into stirring faster. "Oh no, um, um, skip the carrots, no salt... Oh I'm almost done Gramma! U-um... oregano? No, it's garlic powder... and then... Cajun spice? eggs?"

Link's smile slowly melted into a grimace at the abomination she was forming in that bowl. He uh... He no longer wanted to try it based only off the smell.

"Sorry, she's just hungry, sir!"

Link handed her a bowl, and held a tray for her to put it on when she was done scooping the soup into the bowl.

"Thank you, sir..."

Link nodded. "Of course."

Link opted to walk behind Anju for two reasons:

As they walked down the hall quietly, Link asked "What's your name?"

"Anju."

Before Link had a chance to ask about Kafei, Anju walked into her grandma's room. Link let Anju grab the plate and put it on the table.

"Oh, Tortus. I've already had lunch," her grandma murmured.

"Grandmother... I am Anju! Tortus was my dad... and no, you haven't had lunch yet!"

Her grandma put up a finger and waited for a second. Then, with no other words at all, she just said "No."

Anju sighed. "What do you mean, no?"

"Incorrect."

"Wha—"

"Your conclusions were inconcise."

Anju sighed. "Gramma, please just eat your lunch."

"I've already had lunch. Now be fly like an eagle and swoop that plate right back into the kitchen."

"Not eating is bad for you..." Anju seemed worried at this point. "Please eat, Gramma."

Her grandmother looked over at Link. "That handsome boy of yours looks like he wants it more than me."

Link was mouthing the word no repeatedly from behind Anju.

"Didn't I already say I ate lunch, Tortus?! Impossible child!" Her grandmother was getting aggressive by this point.

"Then don't eat my food. I give up..."

"Whew..."

Anju put a hand on her hip. "Whew?!"

"Read my lips, Tortus: Taco Bell! I want my quesarito!"

Anju looked over at Link, who gave her a confused shrug. "What is Taco Bell?!"

"Gimme that double crunch wrap! that Cha-lu-pa baybee! I want that Fri-to Burri-to!"

"Gramma, you're hopeless. If you really think my food is bad, you could just say."

Wordlessly, Anju left the room, and Link didn't want to be left alone with a taco crazed maniac so he followed.

"Sorry again that you had to see that, sir. I know I'm not a very good cook, but I wish my poor Gramma would eat."

Link waived her comment. "My mom always told me that when they get hungry, they eat. She'll eat eventually."

Before Link could say anything else, the door of the Inn opened. In walked the postman holding a letter out to Anju.

Anju tried to collect herself after her grandmother's tantrum. "Ah! Uh, uh, uh, umm, umm, what's this?"

"Mail!"

"Ah, wait!" she called as he turned to leave. "This letter, w-where did you?!?"

"From the postbox!"

"Th-that's not what I mean! From the postbox where?!" Anju stammering over her words was very cute.

The mailman did a flashy mail pose: "The postbox SOMEWHERE."

"That's not what I mean..."

The mailman left after giving her the letter, with no answer to her question that mattered. She sighed and turned to Link. "Okay, Mr. Goron. Welcome to the Stock Pot Inn. Um... Are you... Wanting to stay the night?"

Link looked around nervously. "Um... that was on my list somewhere, yes."

"Ah, then you must be the Goron checking in today. welcome! Let me just confirm your reservation real quick... Sorry to keep you waiting Mr Goron— oops! I mean, Mr Link! Welcome to our humble inn. Your room is the knife chamber on the second floor. Here's your key."

"...Reservation?"

"Yes, Mr Goron. We have a reservation for a Goron named Link today."

Link stared at her for a second. "So I don't have to pay?"

Anju shook her head. "No, silly! It's reserved, so all that stuff is out of the way already. Please relax and enjoy your stay."

Link shrugged, deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. He headed upstairs and tried the key on the first door that wasn't the employee only room and it let him in. When the door swung open, his fairy, Tatl, took one look and lost it.

"What a ramshackle inn! Is this room supposed to be first class? You can hear the people nextdoor for cryin' out loud!"

Link glared at her. "That's not very nice, Tatl."

Tatl looked around again and sighed. "Well, whatever. We're staying for free, so we can't expect much."

Link lay on the bed for a bit and thought about how to go about this situation. He decided he would go in as human Link and just outright ask Anju about Kafei. At about four, he walked back downstairs as Link, ready to ask Anju about her fiance, but was met with her and a Goron talking about the room he just got.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. There are no vacancies today... We're booked solid with reservations."

The Goron didn't say anything for a moment, but then he complained, "I did make reservations! The name is Link-Goro!"

"Mr Link... Goro?" Anju asked. "I don't have any reservations under that name. There was one close to that, but..."

The Goron scratched his head, looking down embarrassedly. "What?!? Really-goro?" He sighed, and turned away. "Well... it's nice weather, so I guess I'll just sleep outside-goro."

Anju looked down at her feet. "I-I'm terribly sorry."

Link looked at Tatl. "Tatl? I stole that man's room."

"You did."

"I'm a thief."

"You are."

Link sat on the ground, having his mid-life crisis at age twelve.

"Um... Can I help you, young man?" Anju asked from the counter.