CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CRYSTAL

Crystal finds herself missing the quiet while she battles with her thoughts. She misses the times when there is no one else in the building but her, the times when she would hear her feet collide with the floor as she walks. Alas, such tranquility is not available when you are in the same house with nine other people; five of them being young men who like to play video games as they yell at each other. Fighting over business and running around the house are also a daily basis routine for them as well.

Thus, she finds refuge on the beautiful roof that Camilla evidently takes care off. There are pots of flowers and various plants all over the roof; Crystal can only describe it as a rainbow explosion, a beautiful one.

The Brazilian woman sits on the floor by one of the huge pots and she starts to drink the tea she made a few minutes earlier. With each sip, she dives deeper into her thoughts. Crystal knows that she has a lot of things to handle; some she has to fix, others she has to face. But she cannot bring herself do it, especially when no one has bothered to explain to her what is going on. She already put the pieces together; or at least most of them. But Crystal wants one of them to come and talk to her, she wants the, to make the first move, she wants them to understand that they have things they need to clear up.

Once she takes the last sip of her tea, Crystal pulls out her pack of cigarettes. She lights a cigarette and puts its tip in her mouth. The familiar feeling gives her comfort even before she starts smoking it.

"These things can kill you." Alonso's voice interrupts her serenity causing her to mentally groan. In retaliation to his words and the fact that he sits right beside her, Crystal takes a big hit and lets the smoke and allows the smoke to erupt in his face.

"I am serious bel fuocu." Alonso says sternly as he takes the cigarette from her hands and throws it in the pocket of water across from him.

"One, my name is Crystal. Two, you have no right to tell me what to do Alonso." Crystal says simply. She lights another one.

"Crystal! I told you not to smoke. These things are risky and unhealthy." He seems to be really concerned and angry which makes Crystal want to slap him across the face. But she refrains from doing so.

"Just leave me alone Alonso. You are literally the last person I want to be around." The Italian mafia boss pretends to not hear her as he lets out a long sigh while glaring at the cigarette between her lips.

"Seven years ago, I inherited the title of the 'Italian Mafia Boss.' The only reason I accepted it was for my parents." Alonso stares at the sky as he thinks about something that Crystal is sure he is about to tell.

Crystal stares at him with a mixture of interested and discomfort. She finds it a little too hard to act around him the way she did the night they met. Knowing that he has to marry her, to spend his entire life with her makes her feel lost; which is a feeling she hates with a passion.

"All my life I have watched them earn the peace they have today; with everything the mafia life had done to them. It actually made me not want anything to do with this life, it made me want to run away from it. But it was a sacrifice that I was willing to make for them, so they can step down. I feel disgusted with myself for bringing the mafia life back to them after they practically ran away from it especially after seeing the pain in my dad's eyes as he talked about Milo and Allegra." Crystal has never been a social person; she hates heart to heart conversations as well as comforting people. Thus, she stays quiet.

Another thing that deprives her of her comfort is her inability to understand him. He doesn't even know her and he plans on spending his life with her, he doesn't even know basic things about her, let alone her secrets. She believes that Alonso is mistaking love for lust, or perhaps he just wants an heir and figured she is the perfect woman to give him that. No matter how she looks at it, she doesn't seem to comprehend it.

"I hope that in the future I will have what they have; the peace, the happiness, and the love. The idea of finding the one and spending the better part of my life with her makes the mafia life worth it somehow." The dreamy look in his eyes causes Crystal's heart to drop.

She doesn't want to be vain by assuming that Alonso's words are about her, but the man did tell her brother that he fancies her. Therefore, casting the thought away is almost impossible. She debates whether she should confess and tell him that she knows that he claimed her or if she should play oblivious to the whole situation. She chooses the latter.

"You seem to be a string believer in love for a mafia boss." Even though her voice is calm and collected, she can feel her hands shaking.

"Yeah. I honestly don't understand the people who claim to not believe in love or that they don't need it in their live. I mean think about it, if we let in all the bad and cast away the good, then what is the point of living, what is the purpose of our humanity. Being human and not accept our humanity and our need for simple things like love and tranquility is just against nature." For a second, Crystal forgets her anxiety and just stares at the man sitting beside her, the cigarette still in her hand.

She stares into his eyes, their green color captivate her somehow, they forbid her from looking away, they demand to know her; her soul, her fears, her insecurities, her flaws, everything. Strangely, Crystal doesn't feel freaked out by it. In fact, she complies. That is until she notices Alonso leaning in. Just like a button, she snaps out of her daze, pulls away, and takes the last hit of her cigarette. She sees Alonso give a perplexed look when she gives the smoke in, but Crystal just ignores him as she thinks of something to say to evaporate the tension the air.

"You seem to have given the topic a lot of thought." She points out causing the smoke too be released from her lungs as she speaks.

"It is the only thing that has been on my mind lately." Alonso gives her a pleading look. What he is pleading for, she doesn't know, and something tells her that she is not ready to find out. Thus she doesn't reply. She finds the silence a much safer option. Unfortunately, Alonso doesn't get the hint.

"I have been waiting for this my entire life, and honestly despite the Russian mafia, I have never been this happy." Alonso gives her a soft smile. To distract herself from the confusion and the battle it is causing in her head, Crystal pulls out another cigarette. The Italian mafia boss gives her a glare, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"You sound like you have found her." She blurts the words out before she realizes what she is saying. Crystal fights the urge to cover her mouth and hit her head through a wall.

"That is because I did." Crystal chokes on the smoke at his words. It takes her a few minutes to stop coughing. Although she believes that the coughing is caused by the shock. She never thought he would ever say it to her face. The Brazilian woman knows what will greet when she looks t Alonso. So, she avoids any kind of eye contact.

Only two days ago, she was certain that she is not in love with him. But now, she is not sure. She is not in love with him, but she can sense some feeling on the verge on igniting. She just can't detect precisely what they are. She can't help but wonder if she is being affected by Alonso's 'feelings' for her; or if she is starting to return the feeling.

"All that I need is for her is to feel it back."

"And what if she doesn't?" Crystal's voice comes out a lot more aggressive than she tends it to be, it is also a little defensive.

"Well…" they way Alonso takes a shaky surprised breath tells Crystal that it is either not an option, or he just didn't think about it. She prays it is the former.

"I frankly have been a little too overjoyed about the whole thing that I didn't consider it." He clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times; he is anxious, sweating even. Crystal takes that as a bad sign. Therefore, she runs away.

"Well, as lovely as this chitchat has been, I am a little cold, so I am going back inside."Crystal grabs her cup, lighter, and her cigarettes pack before she practically runs into the house.

Crystal sighs in bliss as she stares at the wooden door. She doesn't hesitate before she opens the huge door and steps inside. The shelves filled with books welcome her as long lost friends. The DiFronzos obviously have a huge collection; some books are thick, others are thin, some are old, others are new.

The Brazilian woman takes a seat on the thick soft carpet by the window, and places her stuff in front of her. She turns on her laptop. While it starts, Crystal looks through her notebook to sort out her ideas. The idea for Crystal's book came to her on a random night when she was taking her daily night walk. Ever since then, she has been both planning and writing the first draft the book. Her publisher loved the idea, even though she was –and still is- a little reluctant about it. Still, Crystal decided to work on it and see what happens.

Crystal types on her laptop as she blocks everything surrounding her; she has been focused on her words for over three hours now. She hasn't even eaten or gone to the bathroom.

"That is the most quiet I have ever seen you." Crystal yelps at Alonso's voice. She didn't hear him walk in and sit before her; she didn't even hear the door open.

"Alonso, what are you doing? You scared me!" she shows her displeasure and surprise in seeing him. She thought that after what happened on the roof, he will be the one to avoid her. She was wrong.

"What are you doing?" the Italian mafia boss tries to sneak a peek at her laptop but she closes it immediately. She doesn't feel comfortable with sharing her book with him.

"Let me see what you were doing." He gives her a smirk that sends a shiver down her spine but she ignores it.

"No, just leave me alone." Crystal feels a little relief when the hurt look on his face doesn't affect her. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she is glad that whatever is happening it is not big enough to make her concerned for his feelings.

"Why won't you let me in?" the frustration s evident on his face.

"I can make you a list." She replies as she starts to collect her stuff. Alonso, however, grabs her wrist harshly when she attempts to pick up her notebook. Crystal fights with even bone in her body to not look him in the eye. Sadly, he body defies her.

"Crystal, talk to me. I can tell something is wrong. You are not the same woman I met all these months ago. You are not acting like yourself."

"How would you know?" it is Crystal's turn to be angry. She will no longer be the woman who knows things other are trying to hide from her. She will start to confront these people regarding their secrets, she will no longer stay silent.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't know me Alonso. You have created a person in your mind based on the first night we met. That person is not me, you might think that it is, but it is not. Because unlike many people on this Earth, I know who I am, and I am not the perfect mafia wife you have been dreaming about for the past four months. And even if your assumptions are right, that doesn't mean that I know you."

"Wait, you know about…"

""Yes I do." She doesn't give him a chance to talk.

"You would think that you people cannot hide things from me, but you are all hopeless and pathetic." She looks him right in the eyes; a gesture that she means every word she says.

"You don't mean that." Alonso's voice is beyond hurt, but Crystal is so deep in her anger to notice and care. She is tired of everyone treating her like a fool. She doesn't expect them to spill all their secrets, but they could give her some respect and not regard her as a piece of land that can be claimed.

"Yes, I do."

"I only claimed you in front of my friends, no one else know about it, I would never do that to you. You are not an object, you are a beautiful fire that I want to be a part of so desperately even though I know it will burn me." Crystal avoids his eyes and she tries to shut off his voice. The Brazilian woman believes that a person's actions are what defy them not their words. Thus, nothing he says will change her mind or her perspective.

"I would never marry you against your will bel fuocu." Alonso walks towards her and holds her face with his hands. Te emotions on his face do not mirror the ones on Crystal's face.

"You don't know me." She whispers before she tries to pull away. Alonso doesn't let her.

"Yes I do."

no, you don't." she says more sternly, she wants to back away from him but his hold on her face is tight. Not harmful but tight.

"Then let me get to know you, let me get to know the woman I love." He begs which almost makes Crystal give up. Almost.

"You don't love me Alonso. How can you love someone you don't know?" She creams in his face. Still, he doesn't let her go. He seems to determined.

"I may not know you well, not in the way you want me to, but I do love you." The look in his eyes turn murderous as a hand goes behind her head and holds her hair tight forcing her to look in the eye. They are only a few inches apart.

"Don't you dare question my love for you ever again." For the first time since she met him, Crystal sees the 'mafia leader' side of Alonso, the side the news talk about it, the side that every mafia man is supposed to be. Regardless, she doesn't feel threatened by him; for some reason she is certain he will never hurt her. And she immediately scolds herself for feeling that way.

"Alonso, stop, please. You don't…"

"I love you. I love the fire in your eyes, I love your perspective of life, I love your strength, I love your laugh, I laugh craziness, I love you recklessness, I love your confidence, I love your sense of humor, I love the way I feel when I am around you; the tranquility that spreads all around my soul, I love the butterflies that appear when we touch, I love how you saved my life even though you didn't know me, I love you." Crystal looks at him with her mouth wide open, she is speechless.

��Does that sound like I don't know you? Maybe you're right; I need to get to know you better. But I do know how you make me feel, it is the most lucid thing in my life right now, ever."

"Alonso…" She starts but he cuts her off by closing the space between them. His lips are soft, gentle, as if they are afraid to hurt her. Crystal, however, does not lose her senses during the kiss. But, because of her selfishness and her desire to feel his lips against hers; she allows him to kiss her for a few seconds before she pulls away.

Her beat bets as fast as a lightning bolt as she grabs her stuff and runs to the door. She doesn't muster the courage to see his expression as he watches her every move. When she is one step away from getting out of the room, the door is slammed and locked preventing her from fleeing.

Crystal leans into the door, the tip of her nose almost touching its wood. She can see Alonso's hand on the door, and she can feel his body behind hers. He is close, so close.

"Where are you going?" Alonso whispers in her ear.

"Alonso, stop." It is her turn to beg. She cannot bear it, the confusion she feels when it comes to the Italian man.

"Stop what Bel fuocu?" his voice is seductive.

"I am only trying to show you that my intentions towards you are good. I shared with you something that I never told anyone, no one. And yet, you refuse to share anything with me, not even small stupid things. I just want a chance Crystal, a chance to prove myself to you."

"No." Is all she says. These two letters cause Alonso to harshly turn her around so she could face him. He gives her a deep glare before he pushes her away from him and rushed out of the door with a curse. Alonso looks at something right outside the door before he disappears from sight.

Crystal takes a few seconds to sort out her thoughts and her feelings towards what just happened. She fails. She never liked chaos. And despite the whole thing with the Russian Mafia, Crystal feels like Alonso is the one who is bringing it into her life. She believes that maybe she is so confused about him and his feeling for her.

"That was intense." Lucas leans on the doorframe.

"You were eavesdropping. Typical." She mutters ignoring her best friend as she leaves the library. Much to her dismay, he follows her.

"You we will have to talk at some point. So stop acting like you just found out about the mafia when you have known about it for god knows how long." Lucas throws his hand in the air dismissively as he enters the bedroom that was given to Crystal.

She has a lot of things in retaliation to his words. Crystal, however, keeps quiet not having the energy to talk to anyone.

"Revealing the fact that I knew about it only means I can finally show how many smiles and laughs I had to fake when all I wanted to do is choking you and Nicholas.�� She simply says as she places her stuff on the bed and heads for the bathroom to take a bath.

"Crystal we only lied because…"

"Lucas I have nor the time or the interest to listen your pathetic justifications. Because no matter what you say will not change the fact that you are liars. No more or less." She almost closes the bathroom door when she hears her brother's voice. She freezes.

"You're right, we are liars. But you are no better." He simply states with confidence that Crystal knows is fake.

"So you are the one who commit the mistake and now you want to spin it and make it my fault?" she laughs bitterly causing her brother's façade to fall.

"So what you hate us now? Is this how you felt ever since you found out?" Nicholas's voice turns gentle, broken. Crystal walks towards him.

"I don't hate you; I could never hate you, either of you. You are my family." She holds her brother's hand. Meanwhile, she sees Lucas' smile of relief.

"It's just I have had these feelings bolted up for years and now that I know that you know… I guess I have been forcing them to emerge so I can avoid other ones; more confusing ones…"

"You mean emotions regarding Alonso." Lucas gives her a knowing look. Her anger returns.

"I am not in love with him." She yells.

"Yeah sure." Lucas replies causing Nicholas to chuckle.

"I am serious. I am not in love with him. Yes, he is handsome, and yes I am starting to feel this weird attraction towards him. But I am not in love with him. And he pretty much planned our entire lives together while I never even thought about dating him let alone marry him."

"Then take your time to think." Crystal gives her older brother a raised eyebrow.

"I am serious. Sort your thoughts and you feelings, and based on them, make a decision. If you realize that you love him, or end up loving him, then we will both support you. If you decide that you don't want to see him ever again, I will kill him myself if he steps into the same country as you." Crystal goes through Nicholas's words, taking them in.

"I am confused." She confesses.

"About what exactly?" Lucas sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him which she takes. Nicholas just stands in front of them anticipating her answer.

"That night I met him all these months ago, even though I knew he was the Italian mafia boss, he was still a stranger that I had little chance to ever see again. So, I show him a side I didn't allow anyone to see. I never thought it would make him magically fall in love with me! Hell I never even thought about him in a romantic way. Even after I heard him talk to you guys about me that morning, I couldn't comprehend it, I still can't. I know for a fact that I don't love him; I don't know what to do. I don't want him to affect my emotions. I don't want to be with him." She sighs heavily as she leans her head on Lucas' shoulder.

"Crystal you have to at least consider it. You can't be biased. You have to be open to both options. You have to consider a future with him. Alonso is a good guy, and I know that he doesn't take love slightly. In fact, it is all he ever wanted out of life, so if he says he loves you, I assure you he means it." Nicholas gets on his knees and holds his sister's hands and looks her in the eye.

"Can we not talk about it anymore?" Crystal gives the two men a pouty look.

"What do you want to talk about then?" Lucas puts his arm around her shoulder.

"How about the way Nichols looks at Leora when he believes that no one can see." Crystal gives her brother a wicked smirk.

"What are you talkin…" Nicholas attempts to play dumb, but Lucas doesn't let him.

"I noticed it too; I also noticed the way she looked at Ignazio." At that Crystal bursts out laughing. She feels a little relieved that things are starting to get back on track with her family.