Now It's Us

The dark of my room our twin breaths are loud, but I barely notice. His touch sets me alight. His kiss burns across my skin, and I want more.

"Kate?" Aiden whispers, his breath tickling my ear and making the goosebumps worse.

I close my eyes and drop my chin. "I n-need to stop."

There's this moment where I think he's going to ignore me--I want him to ignore me!--and kiss me again. Touch me more. That we could . . . do more. My heart races even faster and I'm sure my pupils grow darker just like his are. But as I begin to lean into him, give myself up, Aiden, suddenly awkward, lets me go like I burned him.

I overbalance with an embarrassing squawk.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you—" he takes a step back and almost tips over backwards onto the bed.

"You didn't. Aiden, you didn't." I hold his gaze. He doesn't try to look away. I lick my lips and I can feel him. When I grab the front of his hoodie to pull him back in, he comes easily. And we're bak to that delicious tension that makes me want to stop caring about anything else. Then his hands find my waist, and I can feel his heated eyes on my mouth. I swallow. Blink.

Sigh.

"But I can't . . . I need to go slow." I swallow again and Aiden hesitates. He can feel the shift in me. The shift that I curse. Because I don't like saying no to myself. But if we're going to do this, I have to make it clear. My counsellor's words echo in my head.

Anyone who's worth putting yourself into will be willing to wait for you, Kate. If they aren't, you have your answer about whether they're good for you.

I brush at imaginary lint on his chest. His fingers tighten on my sides. "I was—am—really screwed up. I need to be careful." I meet his eyes then and let him see how good he tastes. How much I want to play with his fire. But I can't.

"Did you just, 'it's not you, it's me,' me?" he whispers, half-laughing.

I giggle—I giggle. I am not a giggler. But I'm so giddy now here, with him, alone and the way he looks at me make me want to groan and embarrass myself. Instead, I cup his neck and he drops his forehead to rest on mine. That's better. I like to feel his head. And this way I can talk against his lips and . . . damn.

I swallow hard.

"No, I. . ." I pause. How much do I actually want to reveal? "I just . . . my last boyfriend was a prick." Aiden's fingers tighten at my waist and I avoid his gaze. "I can't do that again. So, can we . . . wait?" I want to groan again, but not for the good reasons. I sound so pathetic. Like someone in one of those weird cult prayer circles where the girls all wear headbands and never show cleavage. For fucks sake, what's happening to me? I've been sleeping with guys since I was fourteen. But really only when I was high, and mainly because I needed to tell myself I was wanted. That they cared.

Most of them didn't.

I don't want to be that person anymore. Hoped my next boyfriend would understand that.

I tense when Aiden doesn't respond right away, start to pull away. But he reels me back in, his expression soft, and lifts a hand to trace a piece of hair off my cheek. "I'll make you a deal," he whispers, deep and husky. "I'll wait as long as you need. Promise." He drops a brief, almost chaste kiss on my lips. "If you promise to tell me the second that changes. 'Cause, I'll ditch school, or call in sick to work, whatever's necessary to—"

I slap his shoulder and he pretends to flinch, chuckling.

I'm beaming, and trying so hard not to because I know it makes me look naïve. But I'm giddy hearing him joke like that, because he's not mad. He's not pushing. He'll wait. It's . . . touching.

I'm horrified when tears suddenly pinch my throat. I drop my head to rest on his chest to get a hold of myself. But he thinks I'm upset.

"Hey, don't be sad. I was joking, Kate."

"I know," I murmur.

"Seriously, hey . . ." he tries to get me to look at him, but I resist. One of his hands trails up and down my back. He drops a kiss at my temple and whispers into my hair, "Relax. There's time."

I bite my lip and will the tears away. I will not embarrass myself any further tonight. I cling to his waist and lean into his chest.

"It'll be awesome, Kate. If you're my girlfriend people won't question the time we're spending together. I can still bind you. And if you want," he swallows, "when you're ready you can join us—if you want to—and then I could train you and—"

"Train? In channeling?" I speak into his chest because I'm still blinking to clear my eyes.

He nods against my hair. His fingers trace my spine until I shiver. "I want you with us."

The intensity is back in his voice. No joking.

I cling to his hoodie. Can't meet his eyes because I'm scared he'll see how much I'm willing to give to stay close to him. Aiden's arms tighten at my back and pull me into the best kind of hug.

I give in then and look up, cup his neck and pull him down for a deep, grateful kiss that embarrasses me, but comes from the best place.

When we're both breathing hard he's the first to pull back—with a groan. I rest on his chest again.

"Just because, um, I want to be a man of my word, maybe we should do something else for a while," he says breathlessly.

I nod. "What did you have in mind?"

I feel him smile.

*****

ENJOYING THE READ? Because this book is complete, it doesn't need powerstones anymore--but my entry for the WebNovel Spirity Awards (2021) does: LOVING THE FORBIDDEN PRINCE. Please consider giving your votes or gifts there instead! And thank you for reading, no matter which book you love!