Dark Secret

After accompanying Valentina to Antonella's grandparents' house, and being thrown out that way, I was left thinking.

How could Valentina's best friend treat her like that?

Even though Valentina didn't say anything about what she talked about with the person at the door of the house, who I thought was Antonella, I felt very upset about how she got close to the car after that conversation, so I decided to do something nice for her and went back to Antonella's grandparents' house.

On the way I set out to find out what was going on between her and Valen, I wanted to understand why Antonella had thrown her out like that before.

I arrived.

I turned off the car and went to the door; I rang the bell.

They opened the door without looking.

- Hello - said Antonella in surprise.

Hello - I answered seriously.

- What are you doing here? - she asked, dismayed by my presence.

She wanted to know why you treated Valentina so badly before? She's your best friend! - I said claiming her.

- Was Valentina here? - she said without having the slightest idea what I was talking about.

Don't pretend you don't know anything, of course he was here. He came to know why you didn't answer his calls - I said annoyed.

- I had no idea, I wasn't here, I had gone shopping with my grandmother, I just arrived a while ago - she said defending herself.

Then... who was she talking to? - I asked.

+ With me - said a female voice that came up behind Antonella.

- Emily! Why didn't you say anything to me? - asked Antonella.

+ Because you need a break from her, and from him too! - exclaimed Emily, pointing at me.

From me? - I asked, confused.

+ Yes, from you! Since you lost your memory you've done nothing but ruin my sister's life, there isn't a day that goes by when I don't cry thinking about you, remembering how overnight you forgot her and weren't brave enough to face things and stay and fight for the people who loved you - Emily said angrily.

- Stop it! - shouted Antonella.

I'm confused, how do you know about my accident? - I said, I didn't know what was happening.

- Don't worry, Emily is leaving now - said Antonella, looking at Emily angrily, but at the same time she had tears in her eyes.

When Emily left, Antonella and I were able to talk.

I didn't know how they knew about my accident, until Antonella started telling me everything.

That night was long, it was one of those never-ending nights.

Antonella knew more about me than I did.

She invited me in, her grandparents greeted me as if they knew me; Emily looked at me upset about what had happened and I still hadn't assimilated what was happening at that moment.

- Let's go to the roof - said Antonella as she held my hand.

To the... the roof? - I asked intrigued.

- Yes... our best, longest and deepest conversations were taking place looking at the stars - she answered, as I pulled my hand in her direction.

Okay, let's go - I said willingly.

At that moment I didn't know the magnitude of what it would take to talk to her about my past.

- Do you still like tea with lemon and honey? - asked Antonella as she approached with a cup.

Ho - how...? - I replied in surprise.

- I see that your tastes haven't gone away - she said with a smile on her face.

Why is it that when she came closer I felt my heart beating strongly? As if it was going to come out of my chest.

Why haven't I felt this before, not even with Valentina?

What is happening to me?

Those were the thoughts that were flooding my mind at that moment; it seemed that my heart was screaming at me that I felt something for that girl who was sitting next to me and was looking at me with those deep green eyes and a smile on her face.

Something in me was not right.

I felt inexplicable things.

Surrounded by Antonella I felt good, I didn't feel insecure, I didn't worry about tomorrow, but just about now.

- You see... - that's how she started the conversation.

- You and I knew each other a long time ago, since we were kids - she continued - we used to go to each other's family meetings, we used to go to summer camps together, I remember that you love the blackberry pie that my mother and I used to prepare... - she recounted.

Used to? don't anymore? - I interrupted.

- Since your accident we stopped - she replied, nodding her head.

I'm sorry... - I said apologizing for the question I asked.

- It's not your fault, don't worry - continuing the story - although nobody expected it, it was something that happened and affected us all, your accident was a permanent mark on me. You and I had a relationship that lasted two beautiful years, we were each other's first relationship, but not the last as far as I can see? - she said.

You mean because of Valentina? - I asked.

- Yes... you look happy, and even if it hurts, I will always want the best for you - she ended with a sigh as he looked at the stars.

- I still remember when you proposed to me... - smiled sideways.

Oh yeah? How was that? - Curiosity flooded my mind at that moment.

Without taking my eyes off the sky, she said:

- We always escaped from the camp's huts at night to see the stars, it was something of ours; that day was no exception, we did the usual thing, took some blankets, something to eat and a couple of flashlights. When we sat down on the blankets, you said you had something important to ask me, I looked at you and jokingly said "say it now or shut up forever", it was very funny - he laughed just to remember - you started to stutter and said "okay, I'll do it", and at that moment you told me that you had always been in love with me, that you wanted to be with me always, and you asked me to be your girlfriend. I did not doubt it for a second, I said yes as soon as you finished the sentence, and you were very surprised, you had the feeling that I would reject you, but it was not like that, because the truth is that, I was always in love with you, since you went to my first birthday and I saw you with your face stained with cake, since that moment I always wanted to be with you, you were my first and great love - she concluded.

Was it? - that question came out of me with disappointment.

- If... because since you lost your memory, you forgot about me and didn't keep the promise we made to each other, you stopped being one. Besides, you are now in a relationship with Valentina, and, I can't interfere and hurt my best friend - said Antonella while she was staring at the tea cup.

You're right, but... What was that promise I didn't keep? - I answered.

- When you remember, I want you to tell me yourself - she turned as she said it.

All right - I answered.

Antonella knew so much about me, she knew what I liked, what I ate, she even knew that I liked to see the stars - she knew everything about me.

She had a deep mix of emotions, she didn't understand how it was possible for someone to know me so perfectly even though I didn't remember her. All these years I was terrified of knowing who I was, of finding out that I was a bad person, of being hated, so I preferred to start over again, not to see the people who claimed to know me.

After that long conversation, we started to see the stars, until at one point tears started to flow from my eyes.

- What's going on? - asked Antonella.

I don't know... - I said in a voice that was choked with tears.

- I'm sorry if I said something before that I shouldn't have... - she said regretfully.

It's not your fault, it's just that, all these years I've tried so hard not to remember and believe that I was a bad person and I didn't want them to come near me after the accident for fear of remembering what I did wrong - I said as I cried.

- Well... let me tell you that you were not a bad person, you were the nicest person that anyone could have known; the only bad thing you could have done was to run away from school one day to go to my house to take care of me because I was sick... - she said as she comforted me.

Did you? - I said wiping away my tears.

- Yes, that was one of the things that made me fall in love with you... - she said blushing because I suddenly held her.

Without further ado, we came down from the roof, I said goodbye, thanked her for the tea and for the long conversation.

I arrived at the hotel, went to my room and with a big knot in my throat I got ready to sleep; while I was changing my clothes I remembered that I told Antonella that Valentina was my girlfriend, why did I do that? Valentina and I are not boyfriends, we used to go out but nothing more.

What did Antonella think?

Why do I suddenly want nothing to do with Valentina?

Why did I care what Antonella thought? I was just getting to know her.

With these questions I went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up early and I remembered that in my long conversation with Antonella, she told me that she would stay at her grandmother's for a few more days, so I called my mom and told her that I would stay a little longer and not to worry.

I went to the airport to buy a plane ticket for Valentina because I knew I couldn't take her.

I went back to the hotel and told her that I had to stay a few more days for family business and that it was better to go back.

I know I lied to her, but I wanted to talk to Antonella more; there was so much she didn't know about me, and I wanted her to tell me.

Being with her healed my soul, how lost I had felt all these years.

For a moment I had this common phrase that "everything happens for a reason".

Should I stop trying to run away from my past all the time?

Antonella, what a beautiful name you have.

What beautiful eyes you have.

Thank you for telling me the truth and stop keeping your feelings with me.