Chapter 29

Gabriel didn't stay for too long, however, we had a lot of conversation and I can feel that we are now closer than before. Reynard approached me and I happily told him what happened today. I saw dismayed on his face for a short while but then he said he's delighted to have a brother-in-law that can make me this glad. I stayed in my room and had nothing more to do. Tomorrow will be my dress measurement for the engagement, and then some days later will be our wedding. I can't wait to see myself being held by Gabriel as we both take the vow of husband and wife.

"Nana..."

"Nana..."

I was awakened by the male's voice calling my name. Who was he? Why is he calling me?

"If you ever forget, my soul will speak to your heart"

"If I didn't come home, I promise to visit you even if I am a ghost"

"If you ever miss me, please don't hold it inside"

"Being a soldier, I believe my life is short"

"I wish I could just stay with you and count all the memories we've been through"

"I wish I can gaze the most wonderful thing as she watched the stars in the somber sky"

"I wish to see you smile again as your lips speak welcoming me back home"

"The warmth of your hug that made all my tiredness flew"

"The kisses uttering that I can hold you and love you eternally"

"Nana..."

A sharp knife stung my heart repeatedly that I yelped in pain. What are these memories? It keeps filing up inside my head and it kills me.

"Nana..."

"If you're reading this, that only means I can never kiss you again"

"I can never touch you nor hug you"

"You can cry, Nana"

"You can scream out your pain"

"But promise me you'll look forward to tomorrow"

"Please promise me you'll live for me"

"I am willing to wait, Nana"

"I'll be waiting for the time we meet again"

"Please be happy and experience everything even without me"

"I'll await your stories in the next life when we meet again and I'll fall in love with over and over again"

~~~

"Nana!" my mother called as I watched the cinders lost its flames.

"Nana, don't be like this. You promised him, aren't you?" she hugged me

"I just can't believe it to be too soon. It was our engagement day. Everything was set and all we're waiting for was him to come back. Every guest was laughing. They were all having fun. The lights were perfect, the foods were tempting. I made sure all in the menu were our favorites. I made sure that everything will be ready. Mom, all I need is for him to come back. Why did this happen? Why do I have to be alone?"

My mother cried. I have no tears left in me. My hoarse voice can hardly be heard because I screamed everything out. I met him in a short time. I don't understand why he means this much to me. I even cursed this marriage and wished it will never happen because I am afraid of being alone again. I was foolish to not leave my parents. Is this my retribution?

That night, he said he'll be late but he promised to make it all up for me. I didn't think it was his last message for me. There's an uprising that happened. They were ordered to make peace amendments with the rebels. I heard that my father knew about this, maybe that's what I interrupted when I delivered Gabriel's foods in the garden. They failed to sign a treaty and they were massacred. I know I shouldn't live with hatred nor do I wish I can avenge his death, but I just can't believe it. I just can't believe that he came unexpectedly, I fell in love surprisingly and he left me shortly. He left me.

I gripped the letter firmly. Why do I have to feel all of this? Why do I need to suffer this much? Why am I always left behind?

"Hold my hand, you'll never be alone this time"

I was shocked by the sudden voice the played in my memory. It was the time I've been locked inside the cabinet. Why can I remember it vividly? Those warm smile, those same brown eyes, the warmth of his hug, how can I ever forget about him? I met him when I was young. He's close to my heart for all these years, the boy who saved me. He's is Gabriel. I laughed bitterly as the truth slapped me. How can I forget about him all this time? I feel ashamed.

"Nana..." my mother pleaded

"I'll be fine, mother. I just didn't expect I was foolish all this time. I don't know why I fall in love with a stranger whom I just met. I didn't realize he was that boy, mom. Gabriel was the young boy I told you who promised to marry me. The boy who saved me" I cried out

"Let it out, darling. Don't hide it inside. Just scream" she whispered, thus I did