Chapter 11 – Shadow puppets and cookies

I couldn't get the couple's conversation out of my head. The way that the Duchess planned to steal from her own daughter was just too shameless.

These people were trash. What other word could I use to describe them?

I burst out into hysterical laughter. 

This vast mansion was filled with ugly desires. The Imperial Palace, the Gratoni ducal mansion—it all made me sick.

I closed my mouth and vowed that I would never, ever let them take away what belonged to Carol.

I returned to the study and saw Carol, who was sleeping with her face buried in a book. I looked for Madame DeJoue.

"Did something happen?" asked Madame DeJoue. "Your face has turned white."

I roughly rubbed my face with my hand.

"Oh my. Now your face is turning red. What happened?" Madame DeJoue held my hand to stop me from hurting myself.

I sighed.

Somehow, I had ended up wading in a swamp full of crocodiles. I felt sorry for the owner of this body, Sharon.

When I went back one day, would Sharon be able to handle all this? My conscience weighed on me.

Nevertheless, I couldn't ignore this hellish situation now that I knew, not when I could change things for the better. It wasn't that it was the ethical or morally correct thing to do, though it was. I was just motivated to act by the brightly smiling faces of Carol and Julien.

Really… I was weak when it came to kids.

"Madame DeJoue. I think we need to place someone to watch the Duchess. Will that be possible? I need to know every detail about her—who she meets, what she does, and even the names of her lovers."

"Why so suddenly…"

"I found out something that I shouldn't have."

I smiled bitterly, and Madame DeJoue's face hardened.

"…Madame DeJoue, are you on my side?"

From what I could see, she seemed ambivalent, and I couldn't tell. Madame DeJoue's expression was different from usual, and my reflection in her blue eyes was unrecognizable.

She definitely was not a normal person.

Her past was not revealed in the original novel, but she was truly extraordinary.

Madame DeJoue looked at me like she was looking deep past my skin, and she opened her lips.

"I was hired by your parents, and then by you, my lady. I would never do anything to harm you."

Thank goodness.

It was a declaration that she wouldn't betray me, the one who paid her.

"…I'm trying to change the situation regarding Carol and the crown prince. Neither the Duchess nor the Empress are proper parents. Of course, neither are the Duke nor the Emperor."

Madame DeJoue listened to me silently.

"So I want to make things better for them. If I didn't know… but I do know, don't I? I can't ignore them… They're so beautiful when they smile."

"My lady… You're also beautiful when you smile. So much that I want to protect you."

I laughed. "I hope you remember that in the future. In any case, according to my scenario, Carol and the crown prince will have a happy ending. I plan to take care of any obstacles in their way."

"But what about you, my lady? Why don't you consider your own happiness?"

Her question left me speechless.

Was it possible for me to have a happy ending in this world?

No, in the first place, could I even stay here with them until the end? Shouldn't I… go back?

Furthermore, I kept dreaming that nightmare. That nightmare, with the strange pungent smell, where someone lays dead… What if it's someone that I know? What if it isn't just a dream?

Would I be able to bear it? What choice would I make, if I ever had to kill someone with my own hands?

It would be nice to be able to dream of a happy ending, free from these doubts. A luxury, even.

For now, I just had to make sure I didn't die.

The only thing I can guarantee for myself is life, to keep breathing.

Madame DeJoue, who had been watching me contemplate all this quietly, sighed deeply.

"That attitude of yours isn't right, my lady. Then, let's do it like this. You can continue doing your best for the happiness of the people you care about, and I'll do my best to take care of your happiness."

I was touched by her words. I dipped my head into a slight nod.

"…You said you needed information about the Duchess, correct? It's more than possible. I have eyes on the Empress; of course I would be able to place eyes around the Duchess."

I don't know what the extent of Madame DeJoue's abilities are…

She was like an amazing older sister, and I was glad that she was on my side.

"I'll do whatever my lady desires, so please. Just be happy."

I was thankful for her words.

Now, I knew for sure that there was one person who truly wished me happiness. 

I had a sudden thought. 

When I went back to my original world and the real Sharon came back, Madame DeJoue would at least remember this 'Sharon'. This small hope sprouted like a rose in my heart.

***

Carol woke up from her nap, a white streak of drool on her face.

She yawned, and gave me an awkward smile. "Hehe. I had a nice nap."

"I'm sure you did. You were deeply asleep," I murmured.

Carol scratched her head, and I continued, "Let's have dinner and wash up."

"Okay."

Hand in hand, we left the study together.

Just as I thought we would quietly end the day like this, we were visited by an uninvited guest.

"Kyaaaaaah!"

Carol screamed like a banshee as she burrowed into my blankets.

She had come to my bedroom again, shaking as the lightning split the sky and painted it white.

"No such thing as a peaceful day," I murmured.

Carol didn't hear me, as she refused to even come out from under the blanket.

Ah, puppy. It's not going to stop just because you covered your head.

The only part of her buried in the blankets was her face. Her white calves were exposed, shaking in the dark.

She stole all my blankets, but I still patted her head.

What would be good for this situation?

I looked around the room. I would sing for her, but… I was still hurt from last time. Really! She said that I was tone-deaf, but "at least my voice was pretty." 

Inside the room, I noticed a lamp that emitted an orange glow. 

Oh, I can try using that.

"Carol, do you want to do something fun?"

Carol peeked out from under the covers.

I walked over by the lamp and made a shadow. My dad used to make shadow puppets for me when I couldn't sleep at night. His hands would form a wolf, a butterfly, and even a human being. When I saw him making shadow puppets, time flew by, and I was able to go to sleep.

"Wow! It's a butterfly!"

Carol was enthralled by my shadow puppets, even as she flinched from the thunder and lightning.

"How are you doing this?"

"It's a secret. Now, guess what I'm making this time."

Carol focused on the shadow. What I had made was a puppy. I had it jump around and play, and Carol tilted her head in thought.

It wasn't supposed to be difficult. The puppet was supposed to be her. A puppy.

"Hmm… a mouse?"

"Nope."

"Then… a cat?"

"As if."

"Then… a puppy?"

"That's right. Then, what about this?"

I ran through all of the puppets that I knew until Carol finally calmed down and closed her eyes.

For the first time, I realized that raising a child requires creativity.

Right now, though, I hated thunderstorms with all my heart.

***

After a few days, the torrential rain stopped, and the skies were clear again.

I laughed. "There won't be thunderstorms for a while, now."

I smiled like a madman. Carol had been keeping me up at night, but now, she would go back and sleep in her room.

I already had trouble sleeping, and having Carol in the room made things worse. My body desperately needed sleep; naps were not enough.

But it so happened that there was something I overlooked, having been distracted by the thunder and lightning.

"Sharon! Today's the day we go to the palace. Hey, why don't we just play by ourselves? I don't want to see Julien."

I hesitated.

What did she just say? We go to the palace today?

Please tell me she's joking…

My shoulders drooped because of this horrible timing. I wouldn't even be able to take a nap.

Today… we were supposed to bake cookies.

I would sleep like the dead when the dough was in the oven.

***

"Sharon! Look at this! Does it look like a cat?"

"No. It looks like a mouse."

Carol, who had previously claimed that she liked me the most in the whole world, immediately changed her tune.

"You're so mean, Sharon!"

Yeah, sure.

Carol abandoned the cookies she had started and began working on new ones.

To the side, Julien was quietly making his own share.

…What was that?

"What are you looking at?"

No matter how irritably he said the words, I could still see Julien's red ears. 

Carol was at least able to make a four-legged animal, but…

"What is this…?"

"You don't have to know."

"Come on, tell me. I'm curious now."

I grinned.

The prince looked at me and frowned, looking uncomfortable.

I knew why he reacted like that. Because I couldn't sleep, I had a bluish complexion and dark circles that seemed to come down to my chin.

"Hey… Why are you like that?"

"Because I couldn't sleep. It's okay. But what is this?"

Flustered, Julien answered, "…It's a fish."

Oh my word.

I had thought it was a tree.

I thought art was part of the compulsory education for the aristocracy… I don't really know what he learned from his classes.

"Uhh… Uh…"

No matter how I looked at it, it looked like seaweed. I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

"Oh? Julien, what did you make? A tree?"

I guess Carol also saw it the same way. Julien nervously pushed her face away.

"Go away! Just do your own! And stop bothering me."

"Wow… rude!"

Carol slapped away Julien's hand and returned to stand next to me.

The prince looked back at me, who had not yet commented, with some expectation in his eyes.

Sorry.

I can't lie.

"More than a fish… it looks like seaweed."

Julien looked down at his cookies, which looked nothing like fish. His face crumpled with disappointment.

Looking at him like this, he really did look like an 8-year-old.

I patted his head. He was still shorter than me.

"It's all right. From now on, you can work hard in your art classes."

"…It's already my third year in the classes."

"…Right. You know, you don't really need to be good at art. It's also good to know when to give up."

This was the best consolation I could offer him. Artistic sense is often something that's innate. 

I felt sorry for him, but he just didn't have the sense.

"It's fine. It just needs to taste good," I said.

"I'll just make them into circles."

That was a good idea.

After putting our cookies in the oven, we washed our hands. 

Now, it was time to take a nap.

I tried to contain my smile. "Come on, shall we go take a nap? It should take some time before the cookies are fully baked."

"…You look very pleased."

I turned to Julien.

"Look at my face. Doesn't it look like I need some sleep? Huh? Let's borrow a bed or a couch."

"…Whatever you'd like," he answered reluctantly.

In the end, thanks to him, I was able to borrow a bed.

"Sharon! I want to lie down next to you!"

"You can't!"

Carol looked like she was going to cry about my emphatic refusal, but she soon gave up. That was her only choice because I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Ahh. I was going to sleep like the dead.