Don't You Know?

---Aaron---

"Aaron, Indigo's waking up! We need you to calm her down!" Rachel's voice carried across our camp. I hurried over to the campfire, where Indigo was just coming to but already alarmed and panicky. Rachel and Ashley was beside her, trying to get her to lay down and telling her that everything was okay, but Indigo took their attempts as a hostile sign and looked on the verge of running away. I took their spot next to Indigo and grabbed her shoulders to make her look at me. "Hey. Indigo. It's me, Aaron. It's okay. You're safe now."

"A-Aaron?" Indigo's wide eyes peered at me, unsure. "Aaron, what's going on?"

Rachel and Ashley shared a look. They quietly left, leaving Indigo and I alone by the fire.

I frowned slightly. "You don't remember? Are you still feverish?"

"My head still hurts a little," Indigo admitted as I placed a hand on her forehead. It was still warm to the touch. "Aaron, I feel like I had a nightmare. There are things I can't believe has happened. Aaron, tell me everything was just a bad dream."

"No, it wasn't a bad dream," I said slowly. "Everything you remember is real."

Indigo sat there, stunned. "So I really did all those horrible things," she whispered. Some of the haunted look returned to her eyes. "I lost my rational mind. I killed Katherine. You guys are all afraid of me. I ran away to kill myself in hopes of atoning for my wrongs, but you stopped me." She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Why did you stop me? I don't deserve to live!" Before I could answer, she lunged out and grabbed the hilt of my sword that hung by my side. She pulled it halfway out before I grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"Indigo, no! How many time must I tell you to not make foolish decisions!" My voice rose in volume. "You can't just die! Not after I spent so long finding you and bringing you back!"

"I killed Katherine, Aaron! What don't you understand? I killed her! A life for a life; it's only fair!" Indigo screamed back. Something clicked in my mind.

"Wait. Indigo, why do you keep saying that you killed Katherine? How do you know?" I asked. Indigo looked at me like I was crazy.

"Isn't it obvious? I know how hard I stabbed her and how deep my sword pierced her. With the amount of blood she lost and the deep wound, it's fatal. She's good as dead." Indigo began to tear up again. "I'm sorry, Katherine!"

"So the only reason why you want to die is because you feel like you owe Katherine?" I asked again.

Indigo nodded. She looked away from me and into the fire, her expression sad. "A life for a life. I don't deserve to live after killing a friend."

"Oh my gosh Indigo, why didn't you say so sooner? Katherine isn't dead! She's alive!" I exclaimed.

Indigo whipped her head back to look at me. Her hand let go of my sword in shock. "S-She's alive?"

I nodded. "Rachel and Ashley managed to save her life. All three of them are very drained, but Katherine is alive."

Indigo's face was a mixture of shock and relief. "Oh my gosh," she said weakly. "Katherine's not dead. She's alive." Indigo's eyes pooling with tears again, but these were now tears of happiness. "Katherine's alive!"

With that, she collapsed into my arms again, crying softly. All the fight drained out of her. I held Indigo as she cried out all of her grief and pain, guilt and relief. Sitting by the fire, I gently rocked Indigo until the crying was reduced to hiccups, and then gradually, nothing. Looking down, I saw that Indigo had fallen asleep again, her tear-stained cheeks against a patch of wetness on my shirt. For the first time in a long time, Indigo looked almost at ease—probaly because a huge burden was lifted off of her shoulders. I brushed a strand of her damp hair to the side and studied her face, wondering if the scar on her face would be severe.

A thin red line about three times the width of a single strand of hair ran diagonally down her left cheek. It was as straight as a ruler and stood out against Indigo's pale skin tone. I sighed sadly, feeling the guilt settle over me. Indigo would have this scar forever. And it was me who brought this upon her beautiful face.

"Aaron? What are you doing?" Rachel's voice startled me. I jerked my head up, not realizing that I had leaned closer to Indigo in order to look closer at her scar.

"Uh, just looking at Indigo's scar," I answered as I twisted around to look at Rachel. "She fell asleep, by the way. I think the fatigue caught up to her."

Rachel nodded and sat down next to me, watching as I slowly lowered Indigo onto the sleeping bag. We were both silent for a few minutes, looking at Indigo's sleeping figure.

"She'll have that scar forever," Rachel spoke up.

"I know. I did that to her." I said quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rachel shift slightly to look at me. I couldn't meet her eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Aaron. What happened when you ran off after Indigo?"

In a quiet voice, I told Rachel how I followed the path of trampled grass and muddy prints to find Indigo in a clearing, about to kill herself. I told Rachel how I tried to stop Indigo and how I tried to talk her out of it. I described how sad Indigo was, and how haunted her eyes were. That wasn't the Indigo I knew. That was a frightened and lonely Indigo, having lost her rational mind and let her emotions spiral out of control. I almost chickened out when I got to the part when I summoned a gust of wind in an attempt to save Indigo, but I gathered my courage and told Rachel exactly how it went.

Through it all, Rachel kept quiet, staring into the cackling flames of the campfire. When I finished, Rachel was silent for a few moments more before stating, "Indigo likes you. You know that, don't you?"

I blinked in surprise. I didn't expect this. "What do you mean?"

Rachel let out a sigh before turning to look at me. "Don't tell me that you don't know. You're the smartest guy in the Academy. You can't be this clueless when it comes to this."

"Well, I've always heard rumors—"

"No, Aaron. Rumors are just rumors. What do you think, Aaron? Do you like her the way she likes you?" Rachel's gaze pinned me to the spot.

Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable. I had to look away. "I…"

How do I say this? Indigo and I are great friends, and I enjoy her company very much. I never want to see her be sad or hurt. I nearly killed the man who stabbed her that night in Hamberg because I thought he killed her. I valued her a lot. There was next to nothing that I wouldn't do for Indigo.

But did I like her romantically? I didn't know. I really didn't. Every now and then the question would float up as I lied awake in bed at night, and I would force the feelings down because every time I tried to figure it out, my thoughts became a jumbled ball of thread. Another face would always appear, one with bright gray eyes that turned into beautiful crescent moons when she laughed. Then I would get even more confused, because who did I really like? Who was the one that my heart was saying? I didn't even know the answers myself. How could I tell them to Indigo's best friend?

"I don't know…" I murmured, poking a stick into the fire.

Rachel let out a soft sigh and turned to stare into the flames. "It's okay. The thing with feelings…it's complicated. I understand. It's better to think it through completely than to hurriedly jump to a conclusion and risk hurting someone you really love."

I nodded, stoking the fire absentmindedly. Rachel continued speaking. "But you have to know that Indigo, despite her logical mind and rational thinking, will sometimes be led astray by her heart. Everything she does, every decision she makes…her subconscious plays a part in them. But no matter what, I believe that Indigo wants to do what's best for the team. She is trying her best. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Not really…"

Rachel sighed. "Aaron…" When I looked at her, I was surprised to see how tired and worn out Rachel looked. "I'm worried about her, Aaron. I'm worried about my best friend."