Grieving For Katherine

---Indigo---

"Kath!" Aaron's anguished cry echoed in the empty throne room. The portal had disappeared; it was as if it never existed. I lowered my spear slowly as the gold magic faded. Tears rolled down my cheeks and blurred my vision, but the lonely image of Aaron, with his hands still clasped over Katherine's hand that was no longer there, was unnaturally clear. He was frozen for a moment before scrambling to his knees and waving his arms in the air desperately, searching for a rip in the space, for a sliver of the portal. There was none.

I made myself walk over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Aaron, it's no use." My voice cracked as I spoke. "She's gone."

"No!" Aaron turned to look up at me, and the despair in his eyes brought a fresh batch of tears to my eyes. "Indigo, open the portal. Kath is still in there. We have to get her out. I have to get her out." He looked a little crazed. "Open the portal, Indigo!"

"I can't." My chin trembled as I spoke. I struggled to keep my sobs at bay. "You know I can't. Even if I could, you know Katherine used her life to seal it and destroy Lord Victor for good. To reopen the portal would mean Katherine's sacrifice was in vain."

Aaron might have been too focused on Katherine's last words to him to notice, but I saw Katherine channel all of her magic into sealing the portal. As the blue magic surged and she let go, I summoned every last drop of magic I had in me. We stitched together the last part of the tear together, blue and gold threads intertwined.

I didn't want to. I almost stopped. But Katherine's determination and her last words to me—'You understand, don't you?'—pushed me to finish what we started. Even if it meant standing by and watching her vanish along with the portal.

Despair, anger, pain, grief…an array of emotions passed through Aaron's face. Even if he didn't want to accept it, he understood that Katherine was gone and that there was no way for us to save her. She stayed inside the portal as the other world was destroyed so we could seal the portal and annihilate Lord Victor permanently. But did she realize, as she made her decision, that this choice would destroy Aaron's world too?

"Kath…" Aaron slumped and let out a choked sob, still kneeling in front of where Katherine once was. He buried his face in his hands, and droplets of tears leaked through his fingers to splatter onto the floor. "It's my fault…I couldn't save her…it's my fault…"

I sat down beside him. My own tears flowed freely down my face, and I did nothing to stop them. "It's not your fault, Aaron. It's not your fault." That was all I could say before the sobs took over and I couldn't form a coherent sentence anymore.

If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. The guilt was overwhelming. If I had been the one to go inside the portal, Katherine would still be here, and Aaron wouldn't be this devastated. If I had volunteered to go in instead of Katherine, things might have turned out differently. But it was too late to change anything, and even if I could, I wasn't sure if I was selfless enough. And I hated myself for that.

Lord Victor was defeated and killed. We won. So why was there a hollowness in our hearts that made us feel worse than if we had died during the journey? Why was it that when Aaron let loose a scream so full of raw agony, he was hurting more than when he was physically being tortured? And why did Lord Victor's angry words come to mind, along with the image of him despairing like Aaron did now, as I suddenly felt an inkling of doubt for whether this was all worth it in the end?

The candles in the iron chandeliers above us flickered weakly, as if they, too, would extinguish any second. The throne room felt too large and too empty.

Seven began the quest. Three entered this room. Now, only two would walk out. And that, perhaps, was what hurt us the most.

* * * * *

The sound of running footsteps and shouting from outside the throne room interrupted our grieving. For a split second, I forgot why we were here. How long had it been? "Is it more of Lord Victor's soldiers?" I asked worriedly. My voice was a whisper, and even so, it wavered. "Did we not…is it not over?"

Aaron looked at me, his eyes puffy and red and hollow. I could not reconcile the fact that this was the Aaron who used to have twinkling stars in his eyes and a wide grin that could light up any room. The flames in his brown eyes had extinguished. When he spoke, his voice was raspy. "We'll end this. I will commemorate Kath with their blood. And then…"

He didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he slowly got to his feet and drew his sword. I got up as well, and we stood side by side in the center of the walkway, brandishing our weapons toward the open door.

A group of people burst in, all holding weapons and dressed in the unmistakable uniforms of soldiers. They caught sight of us and skidded to a halt. I suppose they hadn't expected to see two bloodied and battle-weary teenagers blocking their way.

"Uh…" The soldiers at the front seemed confused. Murmuring broke out among their ranks. Aaron summoned a gust of wind in his hand. Before conflict could erupt, though, someone pushed through the crowd and emerged in the front.

It took me several seconds for my brain to register who it was. "Rachel? Why are you here?"

"Indigo! Aaron! Oh my goodness, thank the heavens you're alive!" Rachel ran up and threw her arms around us. "I was worried sick; you've all been gone for so long, I thought—I thought—"

"It's okay. Everything's over now." My voice sounded weird, even to myself. Rachel pulled back and studied us.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Is Lord Victor defeated? Why do you two look like you've been crying?" Rachel bombarded us with a series of questions. She looked from me, to Aaron, then behind us and around the room. "Where's Katherine?"