Izmir, Turkey [1]

The distance between Istanbul and Izmir is quite far, making us decide to travel by air instead of driving, while also saving energy and not becoming tired from just driving.

Deniz paid for all of our flight trips, refusing to let me to stay in a hotel while in Izmir. As long as I was in Turkey, Deniz made my life easier.

I didn't have to argue with traders who mostly didn't understand English, I didn't get lost, and there was free commentary about every corner of Istanbul.

The trip to Izmir took one hour and ten minutes from the Sabiha Gokcen airport, Istanbul, to the Izmir Adnan Menderes airfield.

I looked a little tired from lack of sleep the previous night, the 'bag eyes' that continued to shine under my eyes caused me to ignore Deniz's invitation to talk. While on the plane I tried hard to keep my eyes closed, hoping dreamland would take me. Just so I could look good when meeting new people in Izmir.

My hand dropped helplessly in Deniz's hand during the flight, and I didn't have much energy to argue about the hand.

Let it be... didn't want to take things too seriously.

As I held his hand a warm feeling came over me, allowing me to fall asleep quickly and peacefully.

At exactly 1320 we arrived at 'The Pearl Of Aegean'. The nickname for the city of Izmir because of its exotic and historical tourism elements while still maintaining modern elements.

A young man named Emir picked us up at the airport, which I later learned was Deniz's cousin who lived with his family in Izmir.

The weather in Izmir was warmer than Istanbul, probably because being situated on the coast maked it warmer.

Deniz's family house is located in the Konak district not far from the Clock Tower-Saat Kudesi, the city's pride and signature tower which is right in the center of Izmir. Deniz's white house was neatly arranged, with a large, beautiful and green courtyard.

We were greeted with a hug by Deniz's parents, who I thought were super friendly and smiling.

Deniz's mother held my arm exasperatedly, as she led me into the house.

My communication with Deniz's mother tended to rely on body language or a third-person to translate because Deniz's mother isn't fluent in English which made the conversation sometimes end with laughter, nods or just a smile as a sign of agreement.

Body language and heart language.

She is the type who likes to express affection with touch, several times she always talks closely, rubs my arm or holds mine.

She is very warm, or maybe because Deniz does not have a younger or older sister. Or it could be the longing for the presence of a daughter-in-law. She smiled in silent shock at the thoughts running through her mind.

Ms. Deniz is a middle-aged Turkish woman, wearing a hijab, beautiful, soft hearted, her bright, calming eyes and her smile that always adorns her lips reminds me of my grandmother in Queensland when I met her for the first time, when I was about six years old.

My grandmother, who always walked slowly with me, so attentive in her care she didn't want me to fall or slip. I saw the same habit in Deniz's mother, always inviting me to eat even though my stomach is full.

sob... I miss her.

The people in the city of Izmir look more relaxed than in Istanbul, they are also more friendly and open minded. Most of the people of Izmir are secular, where they separate the afterlife from the life of the world.

There is no discrimination or differences in treatment here.

Unlike Istanbul, religious things are not the main attractions offered here.

People seem to be more open to European culture, and able to maintain harmony with others, so that Izmir feels like the safest place in Turkey.

A beautiful afternoon in the city of Izmir. Deniz took me to spend time in Alsancak, just to pamper me with shopping at branded boutique and then enjoy a cup of coffee and Turkish Delight at a cafe by the beach around Kordon.

I was carried away in the evening with a completly different taste to Istanbul.

I fell in love with the entire afternoon view on a clean beach. Fresh air filling my lungs, a modern apartment building seemed to line up neatly beside the beach with several yatches milling about in the clean water.

The beauty lasted for a moment because we had to hurry home, but in my heart the beauty didn't fade. We rushed because we didn't want to miss dinner with Deniz's family.

Deniz really respects his parents, especially his mother, Turkish men no matter how strong and stubborn they are, they will be lambs when they're with their mothers. For them mothers are everything, representatives of God on earth, all orders and advice they will never break, even if it goes against their own personal will.

The atmosphere of dinner at Deniz's house was so serene, with a typical Middle Eastern menu that uses lots of hot and fragrant spices, on the meat and vegetables.

The smell of Deniz's mother's cooking arouses my appetite I chose the lamb kebab with sauce, and rice pudding as a dessert.

We sat while chatting at the table. Deniz's father, Deniz's mother, Deniz, Deniz's second brother Altan, Deniz's third brother Berkant, Emir and me.

It was such a joy to be at one table with a large family, something I had not felt for a long time.

Deniz's mother sat next to me, while occasionally telling me to eat more, I smiled at her in silence as she put more food on my plate.

If I suddenly get fat, why don't you try it? I muttered to myself.

There was a time when I felt that I was an alien, who didn't understand Turkish at all. All I knew was tamam, evet, anliyorum, biliyorum.

The situation was more relaxed after we had dessert, I watched the way they interacted while quietly learning to understand the Turkish language. They liked to use their hands while telling stories, it reminded me of how Indians or Italians talked with my father, always shaking their hands and heads.

Kreeeekkk.

The sound of a chair being pulled broke the silence for a moment in the middle of having dessert together.

Suddenly Deniz knelt near my chair, opening the box containing a sparkling ring inside.

"Will you Marry Me?"

.

.

.

I gasped in surprise confused, what's wrong with me?

The ground on which I stood seemed to vibrate, tearing down my body. I held the edge of the table with both hands so as not to sway from falling.

Speechless...

I'm confused as to what to say. I looked at the faces around me one by one, faces waiting for a definite answer from me, some of them like holding their breath waiting for me to give an answer.

Should I pretend to accept it just to carve a smile on the faces of this good family?

Should I refuse gently ... but how?

Am I going to be cursed after this if I come clean if I'm not ready?

Should I just pretend to faint?

Or run hysterically like crazy?

Ouch ... this is crazy...

I was really in deep trouble, I could feel my body temperature rising and cold sweat running down my back.

Oh please ... I want to be lost again ... I thought.

I closed my eyes... I hope this is just a dream.

Five minutes have passed so quickly...

I slowly opened my eyes... I pinched my left arm with my right finger...

Deniz remained there, with a position that didn't change...

The atmosphere was so quiet, and everyone seemed impatient waiting for an answer from me.

I tried to calm myself down by forcing a smile onto my face...

For a split second, that smile helped me gain awareness and a sense of calm fell upon me.

The following minute, I surrendered my left hand, placing it infront of the engagement ring. No words, no approval, just a gesture of my hand and a fake smile.

I felt that I had almost died.

"Elhamdulillah" said Deniz's father as he shook and hugged Deniz and me in turn.

Likewise with Mrs. Deniz, and her children. Everyone looks happy and relieved. Deniz embraced me, and smiled happily.

The suffocating session ended with a group photo.

There were a dozen questions in my mind about what had just happened, and I really wanted to ask Deniz but not for today... I don't want to spoil their happiness.

Tonight I jumped into bed early, not because I was sleepy, but I needed time to digest all that happened during the last sixteen days of my life in Turkey.

Everything was too sudden, I can't even be sure what feelings I felt for Deniz.

There are so many reasons why its impossible for me and Deniz to be together. Deniz even knew that I didn't share his faith, Deniz knew I was just a tourist with less than 2 weeks left.

I'll bet, Deniz never even knew where Indonesia was on the map.

Am I going to end up being the Izmir girl waiting for my husband to come home from work with kebabs I worked on all day?

Oh no, I never dreamed something like that. Not easy at all...

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️