Chapter 22. Being a hybrid

"You freaking bastard!"

Arriz crushed against Iutah without any warning, holding him above the floor and hitting him on the wall. He was too angry to think who was stronger.

Iutah wasn't even trying to break free, though he had enough power for that. He was watching Arriz with a mocking smile. He didn't say he was responsible for what happened to Norman, but they both knew it.

And the others didn't. They couldn't possibly figure that their classmate was capable of this. Arriz heard them talking about the hybrid matter mutation. They'd accept this version, because there was no reason for them to suspect anything else.

But the telepath knew the truth. The rage he felt because of this was unfamiliar – and overpowering. He could barely wait for the moment he'd be left alone with Iutah.

"I don't understand your shock," Iutah grinned. "You're the one who made it possible!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Me? Oh, just explaining it to you. How could I bring any weapon here if I wasn't allowed to take a single bag with me? I couldn't. Luckily, you corrected that."

He didn't need to add anything else. One Breed was famous for their chemical weapons. They created viruses that could harm even the higher level hybrids. Those chemicals were undoubtedly deadly for the young ones!

Naturally, Iutah was taught to make those weapons, but he couldn't find the ingredients for them on Ceres, so that knowledge remained useless for a while. Until Arriz came here! He finally understood what those bottles and boxes contained – the ones he was asked to deliver.

"I can see you're starting to get the full picture," Iutah nodded in content. "To be fair, that weapon wasn't meant for such diversions. It was just a safety measure, but you brought the necessity to use it."

"What necessity?!" Arriz pressed him into the wall harder. "I'm on your side and Norman wasn't a threat to us!"

"Look at you! Your behavior demonstrates what kind of threat he was! Same with Alexander St. Rio and other friends of yours! They deceived you, brainwashed you, made you forget who you truly are! It's one of the demonic abilities those freaks possess."

"You've been around them for over a year and you should know they don't have such abilities!"

"Another proof of their influence on you. They've slowly started to make you believe that hybrids are not evil, they're cute and kind, just like humans. They filled your soul with doubt! I tried to stop this, but they were too strong. The only way out of this is destroying them all."

Another puzzle piece took its place in Arriz's mind. He understood why Iutah obeyed all the rules in his fight with Light Silver: he had to play it safe. Then he injected Norman with the poison he created, but since his previous fight was okay, no-one suspected him of anything. It was a risk, but not a great one, just like with those rats. He was a honor student, who would think he was connected to terrorists?

One Breed would praise him for such actions. But Arriz couldn't shake the memory of the blood-stained ice out of his mind.

"You shouldn't have…"

Iutah didn't let him finish, pushing him back with such force that Arriz flew across the hall and hit the wall with his back.

"Don't forget who you are," he ordered. "I won't be sparing you forever. I can kill you now, you know… But I hope you can be saved. The Organization believes in you, and I must do anything I can to fix your brain. Luckily, you didn't make that many friends here, and it'll be easy to get rid of them."

He demonstrated a small syringe to Arriz, which was now empty. It was a perfect weapon for an exam: hiding it inside a uniform's sleeve was very convenient. The telepath was sure he didn't bring any syringes to Ceres, but that wasn't such a great mystery, Iutah could steal it from Dr. Deshanti anytime he wanted. He probably had more…

"Don't do it," Arriz said, getting up carefully.

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Because I realize you're right. I became too friendly with those freaks, and that's my sin. Telepathy has two sides: passing emotions and receiving them. I missed the moment when I started copying their feelings, and I'm thankful to you for bringing me back. But your actions are dangerous for the Organization!"

"Oh really?"

"Really. You're more important to it than me. You're a hybrid, and I'm just an agent that can be replaced. If those hybrids discover who you are, it will be a serious loss for "One Breed". A couple of hybrids are just not worth it."

"They won't discover anything!" Iutah objected, but Arriz sensed he wasn't sure about it.

"There's always a chance. And what happens then? You'll be expelled, you'll lose the hybrid matter you've got! Furthermore, they'll improve their tests to make sure no-one from the Organization can get to Ceres again! It that what you want?"

The things he was saying were correct from the Organization's point of view, and Arriz believed in them – he made himself believe to influence Iutah's aura.

"My actions brought effective results, more than just helping you!" Iutah insisted. "I learned that the dose I gave to Norman isn't enough to kill a hybrid on the spot. He'll most likely die, but any chance of survival is a drawback. Instant death is more useful to us since it'll be taken for a hybrid matter block, a more common phenomenon that the hybrid matter mutation. We can gather more of such data for the Organization, killing a couple of our enemies along the way! It's a chance we only get while they're on level two, it won't be that easy when they become stronger."

But Arriz remained adamant.

"You're putting your mission at stake! Do you think the Organization will be happy to read about this in my report? Your actions considering me were justified, I needed your help. But I'm back to normal now, so you can stop. You��re an agent, and you must follow your instructions."

He said all of that in a purely professional tone. He made himself forget that those hybrids were his friends, he blocked all of his emotions. He was a perfect terrorist now.

Iutah sensed that; he thought about it for a couple of minutes and sighed heavily.

"It's a pity I couldn't kill more of those freaks, but you're right. If I continue doing that, they might get wary. I just hope you've learned your lesson."

"I have."

It was actually a useful lesson to him. His sympathy for them went too far, he thought that just deciding to be loyal to the Organization was enough to counterweight that. But Iutah was right: they weren't equal to humans and they couldn't be his friends.

Forming that conclusion was easy, and accepting it turned out to be nearly impossible. Arriz couldn't do it, no matter how hard he tried. He forbade himself to go to the infirmary, though he was trying to learn how Norman was doing through the other hybrids' talks.

It seemed like his condition was getting worse. Most students believed he'd die by morning: he wasn't regaining consciousness and his screaming was echoing across the hallways, making other hybrids tremble and turn up the volume in their headphones.

The screams grew quiet by the evening – his voice was gone.

Arriz locked in his room after the supper. He was thinking about his parents and the Organization, hoping to find the confidence he once had. It didn't work. Everything was different now! Come to think about it, he never had any friends on Earth. Friendship was despised by One Breed, it was a weakness. They had partners and comrades in arms back there, not friends.

Reciting the rules of the Organization didn't help either. His thoughts were flowing in a different direction. If Iutah was right, why did his actions seem so wrong?

The telepath couldn't blame Iutah for what had happened during the exams. But Arriz was guilty alright! He dragged Norman and the others into this. He should've kept his distance – and couldn't. He let go of the hatred he was taught to develop, and he was paying for it now.

He thought that he'd find a way to accept it, but he failed. When the morning came Arriz suddenly understood one simple truth that his hearth knew all along: it he admitted that the Organization and Iutah were right, he'd lose himself. His personality would be gone, because everything that was dear to him would be prohibited! There were only two options left for him: deny this or become the one his mother was trying to raise. But that would be an empty shell, a perfect weapon against hybrids, anyone but Arriz Fox!

And the hybrids didn't have any requests or expectations from him. They didn't have to stay by his side, they wanted to; not because he could give them something, but because they liked him. They trusted him, and the Organization was using him. He would become a traitor only if he turned his back on his friends!

It wasn't like he made his final decision. He was actually even more confused! But there was one thing he was confident in – and that was his next action.

The hallways were empty at such an early hour: the students were either sleeping or preparing for the exams. But somehow it felt like the whole planet was suddenly abandoned…

He was confident they wouldn't let him see Norman. The hybrid's condition was too critical, he didn't react to the visitors anyway, and observing his suffering was too hard for his classmates. But Arriz wanted to try.

It was quiet by the infirmary, no screaming to be heard. That brought a new wave of fear: many people here believed the only patient would die by the morning. However, the telepath could sense him, Norman's aura was strong, and that had to mean something!

Dr. Deshanti met him by the door. She looked tired, but very pleased.

"Come on in," she smiled. "He's feeling better! You're lucky, because he's just woken up. Now that's what I call friends!"

Arriz just nodded briefly. The word "friends" was like a reproach to him now.

When he entered the big room, Norman was sitting in his bed, propped by pillows. He was exhausted and very pale, and the circles under his eyes were nearly black. His hands were full of needles filling his blood with medications. But his condition was unmistakably stable, and his eyes were sober.

"Hey, bro!" Norman greeted him with a wide smile. "Nice to see you."

He shook the hybrid's hand carefully. He wasn't thinking about the Organization or his obligations, just couldn't, not now. Arriz was standing next to his friend, who needed his support. That was the most important thing to him… as long as Iutah didn't know about it.

"I was afraid you wouldn't live to see the morning," Arriz admitted.

"Me too. And I wouldn't have! But you know… someone helped me. Someone came to me at night…I… I don't know how to explain it!"

"Try."

"It was as if that person directed the hybrid matter in me… Doc said that I dreamed this up, and the computer shows that no-one visited me at night. But I remember it well! Someone came, and I felt better. That's when I understood I wasn't going to die."

Norman's voice was free of any doubt, he believed everything he said. Dr. Deshanti could be right about his dreams, but… the mysterious visitor could be the second telepath whom Arriz still hadn't figured.

"What does she say about your condition?"

"That I won't die!" Norman chuckled. "Doc said that the hybrid matter in me stopped being destructive – or something like that. God knows what it means. But the cells are still unstable, so… She can't tell if I'll continue being a hybrid when my wounds are healed."

Hearing that the main threat had passed was a huge relief to Arriz. If Norman died, it would've been his fault – and he had no idea how to live with that burden. As for losing the hybrid powers… Maybe it was for the better? The Organization would've viewed it this way. Though Norman was still a criminal to them, because he had agreed to help the Second Breed. Thus losing that strength couldn't save him, it'd just make him an easier target.

"You know what's the funny part of this whole mess?" Norman asked thoughtfully.

"There's a funny part?.."

"Yep. I was a hybrid when I didn't want it. But now that I want it, I know it's the right way for me… I can lose it all."

"What do you mean?" Arriz frowned.

"Remember the training we had together? The one where we were pretending to be terrorists? Alex started this stupid talk about why each of us decided to become a hybrid…"

"Yeah, I remember," the telepath confirmed. "You didn't answer back then…"

"I had my reasons for it. You see, I didn't have any cute stories to tell – about how I was a rosy-cheeked toddler dreaming of becoming a hybrid, and how my first word was actually "hybrid". I didn't want this! I grew up in a very religious family. My parents weren't terrorists, but they believed that turning into a hybrid was a mortal sin, a perversion of nature that no human had the right for. I heard them say it every day, so I believed that. Why shouldn't I believe my own parents?"

He was saying it quietly, and he didn't look at Arriz. It was as if Norman had forgotten about his friend completely. He brought those memories back not to let someone else know about them, but to understand his new feelings through them.

"When I was at school, I took the test for identifying whether I was fit to join the Second Breed, just like all kids in my class. I didn't think it was anything special. I could skip my lessons because of it, that's all I thought about! I knew I couldn't become a hybrid, because I was a good boy, not some dirty sinner. Don't laugh, that's what I was taught to believe. So when I was told my results were great, I was shocked. I felt so ashamed! How could I pass it so well? They were so impressed they came to talk to my parents. I was hoping Mom and Dad would make them go away and forgive me."

"But they didn't?"

"Well, initially they did. They kicked the Second Breed guys out with screaming and swearing… and even some shooting. But those guys weren't hybrids, they were humans working for the Second Breed… I was glad they went away, until they returned on the following day. This time the talk had a new nature to it: they offered my parents money."

"What?" Arriz asked. He couldn't believe he heard it right.

"Money… And it was a big sum, trust me! They suggested paying my parents for their agreement to let me enter the project and go to Ceres. And here I must add that my father was a shitty farmer. He was good at hunting, but his business was one big line of debts. I knew about it, and everyone knew about it, but I though our finances had nothing to do with it. We were talking about sin and religion, things that were more important than money! But only in theory. The negotiations lasted for five hours. My mom was crying all the time and my father was angry, and I was eavesdropping through a hole in a wall. I still remember the moment my parents agreed too clearly for my sake."

The Organization knew that the Second Breed was buying children. It was posed as one of their crimes. How could anyone purchase people… kids! It seemed so atrocious.

But now Arriz knew things weren't that obvious. There wouldn't be a deal without both the buyer and the seller! The Second Breed recruiters were strangers to that family, they only cared about bringing a talented student to Ceres. But his parents were the most important people to him! The ones he trusted unconditionally. However, they were saying one thing and then did something opposite to their words. That must've made the child's world turn upside down.

Maybe the recruiters weren't so heartless after all? Seeing such parents made them want to save this child. Parents who agree to sell their son to a recruiter might sell him to some doctor just as easily – to become a donor or an experiment subject.

Norman knew that, this understanding was reflected in his eyes. He had spent many sleepless nights thinking about this. When Arriz came to Ceres, he thought he knew everything about hybrids – but now he understood his knowledge was next to nothing. Each of them was a little universe, and sometimes with an old sorrow hidden within…

"I left for Ceres just so I didn't have to see them anymore," Norman continued. "I couldn't stay in their house after this! But I was also confident that I wouldn't become a hybrid. It wasn't about sins anymore, since I lost my faith. I didn't feel the need to join the Second Breed, that desire that Alex boasts. I was planning to stay here for one academic year, fail those exams, have the hybrid matter extracted from me and go back to Earth. I'd receive financial compensation there, enough to begin a new life! But while I was training here, something changed. I realized that I wasn't such an outcast after all!"

"You're not an outcast at all. You're considered to be the second in strength in the Red Team."

"Exactly! And then I thought: what if that's my destiny? What else am I good at? I'm not exactly a bookworm, my school grades have always been horrible! I don't like computers, and I'd make an even worse farmer than Dad. But I'm a good fighter! And I got a lot of points for many of those other assignments… I understood I want to become a hybrid. I can be a good hybrid! And then this happened…"

He pointed at the medications surrounding his bed. Arriz felt another stab of guilt. He could no longer believe that the Organization was right about anything at all! Who was zombified by false values? Norman or Iutah?

"It's not over yet," Arriz reminded.

"I know. I just have to wait… but that waiting is killing me! It's ironic… I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't become a hybrid! My future with the Second Breed appeared so cool and logical, and now I'm facing emptiness. I don't even know what I did wrong! I thought I was in control, my wounds weren't too serious – and then this hell started."

At this moment the desire to tell him the truth was especially strong, but Arriz blocked it. Norman shouldn't know this, no-one should.

"You couldn't prevent it. But Dr. Deshanti said that if the hybrid matter in you recovers, there's zero change of a new mutation."

"She said that to me too, but it doesn't make my current situation any simpler," Norman pointed out. "If I continue being a hybrid… I won't take it for granted anymore! I won't miss a single practice and I'll do everything to become stronger. I'll prove that I deserve this second chance!"

"Who are you going to prove that to?"

"I don't know… Him, I guess," the hybrid pointed his finger up. "Remember, I used to be very religious. I gave up on it, but sometimes those thoughts come back… Some things are worth holding on to."

"If you lose the hybrid matter, you don't have to necessarily abandon Ceres. You may become a teacher or a curator, like me."

"Let's not talk about it yet," Norman asked. "No offence, but you wouldn't understand it. If you were a hybrid once, everything else seems too petty!"

If Iutah was here, he'd say those words were a proof of brainwashing, the dependence on the hybrid matter. But the telepath sensed it wasn't so primitive. To Norman, the hybrid power was a possibility, not an ego thing.

"The exams will start soon," Norman's voice sounded slightly bitter. "I won't be able to watch them, but you should. You'll tell me about it later."

"I don't have to see all the matches, I can stay with you longer if you want it."

"Thanks, mommy, but I'll be fine!" he laughed. "If I survived this night, I won't die today, I swear! Don't miss those duels without a good reason for it. Karajo fights today, that should be notable. I want to know how it went."

"Why her of all the hybrids?"

"Because I feel like she can avenge me," the hybrid averted his eyes, as if ashamed of his wishes. "I know that I shouldn't think of such things... I don't blame Iutah for what happened to me, but I don't want him to win! Of the two of them, I like Karajo more. She's… more honest, I guess. You may judge me all you want now!"

"I'm not going to judge you. I'm going to agree with you."

Arriz was telling the truth, though even the thought of Karajo winning over Iutah was prohibited to him. He didn't care. He had to continue working for the Organization, but he could no longer admire its ideals.