Chapter 27. A deal with Karajo

Arriz knew he was going to die today. And once he accepted it, his doubts and regrets just disappeared.

It was a better option than living forever with this unbearable feeling of guilt eating him from within. When he was forced to lie in his bed at the infirmary for hours, he was going through that duel over and over, analyzing his mistakes and possible actions. Now he knew how to make things right, but it was too late. She was gone.

He could've saved Olivia. He just had to trust his intuition for that and ask the teachers to search Iutah before the fight. They'd find that goddamn syringe! But no, he was thinking about his own secrets back then.

Those secrets weren't important only because of the Organization, not anymore. He just knew that if his true identity would be revealed, he'd never be allowed to return to Ceres. They'd wipe it out of his memory if they knew he was a terrorist. And he needed those memories, because they made him whole.

That's why he made himself believe that Iutah had calmed down and would act carefully from now on. And the hybrid decided differently. He was bolder and more reckless than Arriz.

The telepath made his second mistake when he stayed away from their fight. He could've tried to influence Iutah or force other hybrids to stop this through his gift. And yet he just sat there and watched this torture in pure shock.

And finally, his third mistake was not exposing Iutah right on the arena, before he could get rid of the evidence. But this failure was the most understandable one. When he entered the hall, he could think only about Olivia. He wanted to save her! And instead he shared her death.

It was a terrifying experience. Every time Arriz remembered about it, a shiver ran down his spine. It was as if someone started pulling him away from his body, carrying him away… His soul was filled with emptiness, which soon turned into horror. Like he was standing in front of utter darkness that was hiding a beast – ready to tear him into pieces if he made a step closer.

He could've died for real back then. He read in the telepathy book that such things happened, connecting one's mind to a dying mind was an extremely dangerous thing. He would've been killed… if it wasn't for Olivia. Even in the last seconds of her life she was stronger than him… maybe because she loved him. When both of them began falling into that abyss, her mind pushed him away.

She tore the connection, sensing what it could lead to. She was afraid, but her concern for him was greater than this fear.

Her love, of which he was aware, suddenly got a new meaning. He had lost the one person who was truly loyal to him! He let her down… That loyalty of hers cost so much more than his ties to the Organization. Olivia didn't want anything in return, she loved him quietly and selflessly; and "One Breed" appreciated him only as a capable spy, they'd kill him without regrets for a single failed mission!

The more he thought about it, the easier it was to understand what a fool he had been. He shouldn't have believed the Organization from the start! They turned him into a slave, just like they'd already done to his mother and father. Still, his parents' will was broken completely, and his wasn't. He'd been doubting the teachings of One Breed since he came to Ceres. But to break free from the things he believed for years, his doubts weren't enough. He needed something exceptional, a hurricane of emotions, a tragedy…

Olivia died. But she saved him by that.

She saved his personality, his true self. Now he knew exactly who he was, what he cared about. But that didn't mean he had the right to live – he had to pay for his mistakes and make sure Iutah's crimes didn't go unpunished.

"You've been quiet lately," Norman noted. They were the only patients in the infirmary so far. "I understand though… I feel sorry for her too, that's just wrong! Damn… if I won over Iutah in my duel, none of this would've happened!"

So many hybrids wanted to blame themselves for her death… Norman had no idea about what had really happened there, but he sincerely wished to help her and protect her. That was the true essence of hybrids, not the things One Breed taught him!

"Iutah lost control," Arriz replied quietly. "You couldn't stop him, you're not insane enough for that."

"Maybe. And he didn't break any rules, he'll walk out of this with highest points and nothing else! Everything became so twisted…"

"I think Lady Laura and the others share your opinion."

"And? Not like they can do anything about it!"

The teachers didn't have the authority to punish Iutah. Arriz had been thinking about giving them a reason for it – he could walk to Lady Laura and tell her the truth about who he and Iutah were.

He wasn't afraid of disclosure any longer, because it could ease the guilt he was feeling. But after analyzing the situation carefully he concluded it was a bad option. His only chance to show Iutah's true intention was catching him red-handed – right after the fight, when he had the syringe and when the shot marks could still be found on Olivia's skin. But the telepath fainted back then and woke up in the infirmary.

Iutah had enough time to hide the evidence, and nothing Arriz would say could harm him. He'd simply blame it on the telepath's desire to avenge his girlfriend. The curator would only make himself look like an idiot.

Warning his next opponent was also useless – even if that would be Alex. He might listen to Arriz and believe him, but he wouldn't deny that fight. Learning that Iutah violated the rules after all would be interpreted as an additional reason to "punish" him. And naturally, Alex would lose…

Talking to Iutah would've been too naïve. The hybrid had already lied to Arriz once… And judging by his look directed at the dying Olivia, he wasn't going to stop. He turned this exam into a new tool of the Organization and he was very pleased with it.

They didn't find any chemicals in Olivia's blood, which was normal. The Organization had been producing poisons for years, they'd sent only their best inventions to Ceres! And the telepath brought the ingredients here personally, providing Iutah with a chance to kill his friends.

His One Breed training and not viewing hybrids as friends couldn't be a suitable excuse. It was his error, and he had to hold the responsibility.

"Are you going to the funeral?" Norman asked.

"Yes."

"Are you sure? Dr. Deshanti said it'll slow down your recovery!"

"I don't care."

He kept his word. It was hard to see her like this… in this coffin, surrounded by flowers, so light and peaceful – it was almost more than he could handle. Arriz had no idea how he survived those hours. The world just stopped around him, he didn't see anyone else and didn't hear what they were saying. His eyes were glued to her, and the guilt was burning him like acid.

But that was when he found peace. He understood that a crime like this could only be avenged by blood and accepted this. He couldn't have imagined accepting his death would be so easy!

He had to return to the infirmary for the rest of the day. Just like Dr. Deshanti had guessed, he was too tired to walk. His body was still recovering from nearly drowning in the abyss no-one else could see.

During that time he was told that the new opponents had been announced. His expectations proved right: Iutah and Alex were supposed to fight tomorrow.

"It can't be right!" Norman was outraged. "Why me and then Alex? Is it just a coincidence we're friends? It's like Iutah is hunting us!"

He said it without believing it was actually so. Arriz didn't tell him the truth. Why bother? It wouldn't help anyone.

In the evening he left the infirmary. Dr. Deshanti wasn't happy about it. She tried to talk him into staying, but he refused to listen, and she couldn't force him.

"You're making a mistake," she gave him a heavy look.

In comparison to his previous actions, it wasn't a mistake. It was retribution.

He headed to his room from the infirmary, but he wasn't going to stay in bed. He changed from his uniform into a simple white t-shirt and a pair of jeans he brought from Earth. On the day he was going to lose his life he didn't want to be a cadet, or a spy, or a curator. He wanted to be himself, because that was the main treasure he had found on Ceres. His soul.

Arriz sat on his bed, waiting for the night to come. He didn't do anything, listening to the life around him. The hybrids were falling asleep early these days, the exams were draining them. He had to rest too, but instead of exhaustion he felt a powerful wave of energy flowing over him. It was as if his body knew it was going to die soon, and it was using all the power it kept hidden.

When the humans living on the same floor as him were asleep, he left his bedroom. Arriz walked to the hybrids' room quietly, trying not to draw any attention. Many of them were awake, he could see light coming from under their doors. But they didn't expect him, and he wasn't interested in them. He walked to the furthest room down the hallway.

Karajo's bedroom was separated from the rest of them by two empty rooms next to it. It could be a coincidence, or the administration's move, or the demonstration of fear other students felt for her. She had long since announced her desire to stay alone.

There was no light under her door, but Arriz sensed she was awake. She'd most likely heard his approach.

He knocked on the door, hoping the sound wouldn't attract other hybrids.

"Come it," Karajo permitted. "The door is not locked."

He entered – and saw that the room was empty. Not completely empty, of course, it still had all the basic furniture in it, but nothing else. After a year spent on Ceres the hybrids were filling their bedrooms with textbooks, computers, little souvenirs, messages from home and stuff like that. Karajo's room was in the same condition it had been when it was prepared for the new generation's arrival. Even the layout of the base was still on the table, the bed was made with dry flower petals forming the words "Welcome to Ceres" on it.

Meanwhile, Karajo sat by the wall opposite the door, leaning over it with her back. In spite of the late hour, she was covered in bandages completely and wearing her full uniform – including the shoes and the black jacket.

"Don't you sleep here?" Arriz asked. He was too stunned by what he saw to remember the purpose of his visit.

"I do."

"And the bed?.."

"I don't use the bed. I was going to sleep now."

"Sitting on the floor?"

"Yes," she nodded. Her voice sounded as muffled as ever due to the bandages. "It's very convenient in case of a sudden attack."

"What sudden attack can there be?"

"First of all, it takes more than one night to teach your body to sleep like that. Second, after the recent events, I wouldn't be surprised by being attacked right here."

"But that's…" he made a pause, choosing his words carefully. "Not too hygienic…Sleeping dressed…"

"Amateur. I shower after training, change the bandages and put clean uniform on. I have many sets of it and I see no sense in wearing one for a week. But I have a feeling that's not what you came to discuss."

He didn't plan on getting distracted like that, but the scene he was greeted with was just too unexpected! Though Karajo was right. Many hybrids, especially from the special units, had to travel a lot, and that made sleeping in full armor a precious skill.

This strict discipline might look comical if some other student tried to maintain it, but it suited Karajo perfectly. It was another confirmation to Arriz of making the right decision.

"I came to talk about Iutah."

"Wanna tell me he's a terrorist? I already know that."

Her emotions were nearly impossible to sense. Her voice was even, and her face was hidden by bandages… only her eyes were open, and they watched Arriz with a challenge.

He wasn't shocked this time.

"I thought you'd guess it."

"That happened later than I'd like to. I became confident only after Olivia's death. He uses the methods of One Breed."

"Pity you're the only one who noticed that…"

"Don't underestimate people who work here," she advised. "They're on to something too. Their problem is their solid belief that no One Breed agent can come to Ceres and infiltrate the school. That's why they're blind even to the obvious clues."

"But you… you know everything! Aren't you doing to do anything about it?"

"I am. When my time comes. Using such methods will guarantee Iutah a place at the final exam, and I'll be waiting for him there."

"You can't do that!" Arriz exclaimed.

"Why not? I'm a student here, not a police officer."

"It's not about you! Tomorrow Iutah is going to fight Alex… He's going to kill him! It's not about the points anymore."

"Why are you so sure about it?"

"Because… he's killing the hybrids who became my friends," the telepath forced himself to admit. "Norman, Alex… Olivia too. He's doing that because he believes they've been influencing me in a wrong way, shaking my faith in the Organization, spoiling me. He thinks that if he gets them out of my way, I'll be devoted to my mission again. I thought I made him stop… that was before his fight with Olivia. I know he won't stop and kill Alex, even if it causes even more buzz around him."

"He's careful enough to afford that. He's making it look like his strength is above average and he can't control it. I believe he'll act devastated and depressed after Alex's death, possibly to the point he'd deny fighting his next opponent. Which wouldn't bring Alex and Olivia back to life, obviously. But I'm interested in another thing right now… Tell me, how correct is he in his beliefs about you and them?" Karajo's shimmering eyes studied him attentively.

"He's right for the most part. Yes, it influenced me, this friendship… And I've lost my trust for the Organization. But Alex's death won't make me reconsider! I already know who I am… That's why I came to you."

He told her everything he'd been thinking about for the last 24 hours. About his reasons against telling Lady Laura the truth, the chemical weapon he brought on Ceres, and his guilt. Karajo listened to him without interrupting. Arriz was too nervous to read her aura, he didn't know whether she was angry or not.

"I came to you because you're strong enough to stop Iutah," he finally announced. "And you're the only one who'll believe me because you know I'm a terrorist."

"Maybe. And what am I supposed to do? When you say I must stop Iutah… do you mean I should take his life?"

"I don't know…" Arriz confessed. "I mean, I know he's dangerous. But killing him… That's something I can't accept yet."

"So you deserve to die and he doesn't?"

"That's not for me to decide. I think I've done too many bad things to be anyone's judge."

"And how do you want me to stop him then?" she continued asking matter-of-factly.

"Karajo, I don't know! Get him out of the game. Make it so that he can't fight Alex. Or help me prove to Lady Laura that he's a terrorist, tell her you recognized me!"

"You'll be punished if you tell her that," the hybrid warned him.

"I know, and I really don't want to lose my memory. Those days on Ceres… they are the best thing that ever happened to me. But Alex's life costs more than that! And I'm not sure Iutah won't try to finish Norman off. I caused this mess… I should be paying for it, not them!"

She grew quiet, calculating something in her mind. Arriz didn't hurry her, he was too scared to even breathe – he didn't want to do anything to upset her. Karajo was his only hope, he had no-one else to go to.

But she either didn't understand that or didn't give a damn. Her answer was short and confident:

"No."

"What?.. Why?!"

"Because I have nothing to do with your mistakes. I'm sorry about Olivia, and I wish no harm to Alex. But I don't see why I should help you or them. You're suffering, which makes me happy, and they… they made friends with a terrorist. As for telling Lady Laura the truth, I leave that to you. In case you haven't noticed, I stand alone, which includes minimal communication to the base's personnel. I don't walk around complaining and don't ask for help. I deal with my problems myself, and that's what you should do."

She was clearly making fun of him. She knew he didn't have enough power to fight Iutah, he was trapped! But Arriz couldn't blame her for this. Karajo had her reasons to hate him… and those were good reasons.

"I… I think I have something to pay you with for your help."

"Hm? And what's what?"

"My life."

He had never bowed to anyone before. He stood straight even in front of the Organization's leaders, and now he went down to his knees before Karajo. His pride opposed it, but it grew quiet when he remembered Olivia. That was his punishment for failing her!

Karajo was intrigued. She got up, though she still wasn't much taller than Arriz in his current position. It was hard to believe that such enormous strength was sealed in this slender body! But the telepath had long since accepted that.

She was his only chance.

"How amusing," Karajo commented. "But I've already told you, I can't kill you. If I could, you'd be already dead, I wouldn't need your permission for that!"

"That's why I'm saying I'll give my life to you. You can't kill me because you'll get expelled. But if I commit suicide, you won't get punished."

She stepped closer and leaned over him to look straight into his eyes. There were mere centimeters left between their faces. Arriz held her gaze; he wouldn't have come here if he wasn't absolutely sure in his intentions.

"You'll do that?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. "The way you choose. If you want to make it painful… I'll do it. I should be the one dying because of Iutah, not Alex and Norman!"

Karajo stood straight again and started walking around him slowly, as if that would help her in understanding him. Her aura was making him feel uneasy, but even when she was behind his back, he didn't turn to her, forcing himself to stay still. His survival instinct was basically screaming in alarm; he concentrated on his memories about Olivia. That made things easier.

"You're actually ready to do it," Karajo chuckled. "Although you don't want to die, I can feel that. Tell me what did you feel when you were next to Olivia – when she was dying."

"I don't want to talk about it…"

"Tell me," she ordered, her voice becoming colder.

"As you wish�� I felt empty. As if me and her were standing in the middle of a desert, and the sand under us began disappearing suddenly. It was getting colder… I panicked, and Olivia didn't. She was absolutely calm… and she was thinking only about me. When we began falling, she pushed me aside, so I could stay alive…"

When he was telling about it, he felt something burn his eyes and roll down his cheeks in liquid fire. But he was so lost in his memories he didn't realize what it was. And Karajo did…Her bandaged hand touched his cheek.

"You're crying… For her or for yourself?"

"I'm crying?" Arriz echoed in astonishment. He brought his hand to his face and felt water on his fingertips. "I… I don't know. No use in feeling sorry for myself. She had more rights no leave than me."

"Peculiar…"

She continued moving around him, like a vulture that had found its prey. Her presence didn't pressure him anymore. He knew she could stop the pain that was throbbing in his chest since Olivia' death.

"Do you know that's the difference between you and your father?" Karajo asked thoughtfully.

"Many things, I believe," Arriz smiled at her bitterly.

"Of course. But there's one thing that's truly important. Can you name it?"

"No. I… I didn't know my father too well."

"That's for the better. Then I'll tell you. When your father came to the hospital that day, he was already dead. His body was fine, but his soul was gone. Do you know what happens when your soul dies? Everything else is gone too: your dreams, desires, aspirations, will and principles. You're left with nothing but a certain set of instructions that you've either made up or have been taught to follow. You obey without thinking whether you like it or not. That's the only way one can enter a children's hospital and start shooting everyone at sight. When it all happened… some doctors and parents tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't care. He knew he was going to die, but he wasn't scared, because the death of a body means nothing in comparison to the death of a soul. I learned that from looking into his eyes that day."

Arriz didn't want to accept this, but he couldn't object. Last time he saw his father, he felt something like that too. Like he was facing not a parent, but a robot, an empty shell… He was too young to grasp it fully back then.

She was even younger, but she succeeded.

"But your soul is still alive," Karajo continued. "It can feel and tear apart in pain. It doesn't let you to follow the instructions thoughtlessly, like your father did. Your soul is your best judge. The pain it causes you is greater than death. You can't agree to act like you're expected to, which leaves you with two options. You can break yourself to fit the Organization's criteria – but someday you'll push too hard, and your soul will be destroyed. But you won't notice it, you'll think you've just learned… you won't notice you are gone. Option number two is to break all your connections with the past and do what your soul tells you to do. I think that's even harder that dying inside, because you'll have to tear all your previous beliefs out of you to become someone new. I've done this… Unlike you, I didn't have a choice, which, ironically enough, made things easier for me. Oh yeah, and there's option number three… The one you're opting for. You want to die – with your body, not soul, to make the pain go away. But you know what? I'm not interested. It'll end your suffering, and I don't want to do that. Not to the son of my enemy! Your agony is more entertaining to me."

"But it's not about you and me! It's about other hybrids, starting with Alex. You have the right to hate me, not them! How can you go on living, knowing that you could've saved them?"

"Motivational speeches don't really work with me."

He felt like he was facing a dead end. Karajo had already denied him, and now she seemed to be simply making fun of him… But Arriz knew it wasn't so simple. She was testing him, giving him a chance, and he didn't know what to do to convince her!

He referred to desperate measures. Using his gift was still hard after that accident, but he had to go for it. He used all the energy he had – it was enough to get one glimpse into her memory, and it was enough for him.

He saw fire. Scared people rolling in horrendous pain, eaten by flame. He felt pain, and the pressure on his back. He heard a voice calling him…

When he returned to reality, he discovered he was still on his knees, clasping his head in both hands. Heavy drops of blood were falling from his nose on the floor…

"What was that about?" Karajo asked in a detached way. "You're not strong enough to do anything seriously, you simply traumatized yourself more."

"Dani…" he pronounced, trying to catch his breath.

"What?.."

"Dani – that's what your mother called you. And the rest of your family too, I think. You became a strong warrior, and expert, a perfect hybrid… And you locked the core of your personality, which was Dani, deep inside your memory. You're just like me in that aspect! And maybe Daniella Karajo, the great fighter feared by everyone, can give up on Alex and the others, claiming they're not strong enough to survive. But Dani wouldn't do that… she wanted to become a hybrid to save people, not abandon them!"

Karajo stood still in front of him again. She lifted his chin with her hand, making him look at her.

"You're more entertaining than I thought."

"You may accept my offer," he reminded her.

"Killing you? Nah, that's boring and petty. Your soul, telepath, is a very curious thing. Less predictable that I expected. It'll avenge the sins of your father better than I ever could. As for me… I'll help you. Not for free, of course. But so far you don't have anything that presents value to me; you'll owe me a favor. I'll just take a little entrance fee for now."

Her hand darted forward so fast that her movement looked blurry. Arriz moved back instinctively, though he knew that she could crush through his chest easily.

She didn't, and she wasn't going to. She simply tore the medallion off his neck – the one his mother gave him. Her delicate fingers crushed the metal effortlessly, bending its original shape. Soon it was nothing but a metal scrap that Karajo threw into a trash bin.

"I won't be the one fighting you – your soul will. I'll help it. And get up already! I don't need any slaves."

Arriz rose to his feet, and now he was looking down at her. But it was clear which of them was stronger.

"Will you help me?"

"Yes, I've already said that. Iutah won't fight Alex tomorrow."

"That's exactly what I wanted!" Arriz nodded happily. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing, I'll be taking care of that from now on. We'll show Iutah Kerengree that he's not the only one who can manipulate the rules."