Episode 5: Dilemas & Frustrations

Erika was sitting down in the changing rooms with Susan standing right in front of her. She was furious at her for disobeying orders.

"You almost got 2 civilians and yourself killed out there!" Yelled the captain. "I ordered you to retreat and instead you charged towards the angel!".

"But I finished the job, isn't that what matters?".

"That's not the point!" Yelled Susan once again. "You have to obey orders!".

"Isn't destroying the angels our priority?" Erika retorted back. "Isn't that why I was called?"

There was a minute of silence in the room.

"Do you even want to pilot the Eva?" Questioned the captain.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Responded third child. "It's my duty, isn't it?".

"Answer my question" demanded the captain. "Do you want to pilot the Eva?"

"I'm the only pilot for unit-02, Susan" argued. "There's no one else for the job."

"You know that's not true, Kenji can pilot it also" Whitehall stated firmly. "You're still not convincing me".

"What else do you want me to tell you?!" Erika yells. " I'm an Eva pilot now, it's my job to kill the angels. I finished the job and nobody got hurt. Mission accomplished."

Susan then slapped her in the face as she yelled that.

"Listen to me! She exclaimed. "This has nothing to do with priorities, this has to do with your ignorant reckless attitude! You need to follow orders as I tell you to. Its my responsibility make sure you're a capable pilot, but If you don't want to pilot the Eva, then leave. NERV doesn't need someone with an attitude like yours in the field!"

The captain then left the changing rooms. Third child just sat there, speechless on what to do next.

That night, Erika couldn't stop thinking about what Susan said.

"If you don't want to pilot the Eva, then leave".

"The Hell with her. I need to pilot the Eva, don't I?" The girl questioned herself. "They need me, don't they? Wasn't that the reason I was brought here?"

She then remembers what happened at the boarding school when she was young. The comments her classmates said about her.

"Hey look, its that American kid".

"Heard her father left her here".

"What a cry baby"

"She's so quiet and stuck up".

"She lacks the ability in socialize".

"So gloomy all the time" .

"She's always causing trouble".

"What a weakling".

"You're useless".

"I'm not useless" Erika said to herself. "I'm not".

The next day, Susan woke up and went to Erika's room.

"Erika, its time to wake up" Whitehall said as she knocked at the door. "Are you still asleep?".

Not a single sound responded back.

"Maybe I went to hard on her".

The door suddenly opened, revealing an empty bed with Erika's phone on the mattress. Susan was in shock.

"She left?"

Someone rang he doorbell. She opened it to find Ramon and Marty standing there.

"Uh...hello" said Marty. "We're Erika's classmates".

"We noticed that Erika wasn't at school so we were wondering if she was sick or something" Ramon added.

"Wait, she's not at school?!" Susan asked.

"Is she not at home either?" Asked Ramon.

Neither the classmates or the captain knew were she went.

"If you find her, please contact me. Here's my number" said the captain as she gave them a piece of paper with her number.

"Uh...okay" the duo simply responded.

Susan then closed the door.

"Dang, she's hot" Ramon and Marty thought as they watched her drive.

She left got on her alpine, driving towards NERV HQ. Once there, the captain was discussing with Dr. Ackerman and her assistants.

"Erika came here early in the morning to train" stated Dr. Murasame. "She was practicing her aim for 5 hours".

"We told her that she could stop when she wanted, but Erika kept on going" Corman added. "She's really determined".

They showed her the results. Her synch rate was a 75.8%.

"She improved".

"But did she say where she was going after training?" Asked the captain.

"No, but I'm sure she hasn't gone too far from the city" insisted Dr. Ackerman.

"Great! First she disobeys and now she runs away! She exclaimed. "I swear, I might as well send her back to that boarding school!".

"Well good luck with that because there's a chance they won't even take her back in" remarked Corman

"What do you mean?" Questioned Whitehall.

"Haven't you read her file?" he pointed out. "Erika was expelled from St. Agnes weeks before she was sent here."

"What?".

"According to her report, its stated that Erika had several cases of disorderly conduct in and out of class, which included vandalizing property within the school, disorderly conduct, and a whole bunch of other crap she's been called out for" Corman explained. "It seems that the only thing that kept her there was the commander's payments."

"I...was never informed of anything" Whitehall told him. "How did you get your hands on those reports?".

"I felt the need to learn more about the pilot in order to configure unit-02 to the best of its capabilities" he explains.

The Captain felt a bit shocked to heard such information on the third child.

"Susan, you do know that she's also never seen the city before in her life" added Murasame. "There's a chance that she could get easily lost".

"Oh Erika, where could you have gone?" Thought the worried captain.

Erika was sitting on a bench, near the streets of of the city. She was listening to her music, thinking about what she's gonna do next. She hasn't been in the United States for a long time, nor seen anything like Spring City before in her life. After a couple of minutes, she left and went to a nearby movie theater, they were showing a screening of a documentary about 2nd impact. Third child found distaste in the film.

"What a piece of crap" she thought.

After the film ended, Erika left and went to nearby store to buy herself a bicycle. She then rode it all they to the mountains near the outskirts of the city. She then sat on a nearby bench and watched as the sun was setting over the horizon.

"I mustn't run away, I just can't" she told herself. "But what if they sent me back?"

She then looked down at the ground and remembered what Susan said.

"If you don't want to pilot the Eva, the leave".

"Its pointless" she began. "No matter how hard I tried in the simulation, I'm still reckless in combat."

Third child then stood up in disappointment as she was about to leave.

"I'm just some spare part."

"That's got to be the worst Pep talk I've heard" commented someone from behind.

Third child turned around and found Zoe Harwood standing over her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking the same question to you" she responded. "You didn't come to class and from what the 2 bimbos told me, you ran away."

"I didn't run away" responded Erika. "I just...wanted to be left alone, that's all."

"Judging from the sound of your situation, you got a lot on your head" she comments. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I just feel...afraid."

"About what?"

"Everything" third child tried explaining. "I'm a reckless pilot, I can't follow orders nor protect the city without causing damage."

"This is about Ramon getting angry over what happened to his younger brother, right?" Asked Zoe. "Look, I had a talk with them and I'm sure they'll apologize-

"Its not just that" she interrupted. "I almost got him and Marty killed during the other fight and disobeyed my orders superior's orders. The captain told me that if I don't want to pilot, they'd find another replacement. That's why I left early to go out and train."

"But...do you want to pilot that thing, the robot?"

"I....don't know anymore" She continued. "I get called here thinking my father wants to see me, and instead I end up piloting a giant robot that fights monsters. I have no choice since I'm one of the only people that can pilot it."

"And if you don't?" Harwood asks.

"I'll probably be sent away to the ends of the earth and never be heard from again.

Zoe then sat down with her on the bench.

"Erika, listen to yourself" She tells her. " You saved the city 2 times, along with those knuckleheads. You might have left a few scratches in the process, but you saved us all in the end. I mean, nearly all of our class was jealous of you when they found out that you pilot a giant military robot."

"But-

"I'm not done" she adds. "Let's not forget that you and I are still kids. Pre-teens to be exact. We're young and we're gonna make mistakes. We aren't machines, after all".

Third child begins to realize something that she hasn't taken notice for a long time. She's forgotten that she's still just a child. A 13 year old kid.

"Zoe, why are you telling me this?" Langford asks.

"Because I care about you, and the same can be said about the two bozos" Zoe explains. "You're my friend, Erika, and friends look after each other."

"I understand now" Erika realized. " I think....I found my reason."

The sun was setting down as the sky was getting darker, the two girls just sat down on the bench to view the sunset as they conversed with one another.

"You should call Ms. Whitehall to tell her were you are" Zoe suggested.

"Are your parents picking you up?" third child asked.

"I actually only live with my sisters"explained Harwood. "My parents passed away when I was young."

"I sorry to hear that" apologized Erika.

"It's okay, I guess you kinda already know what feels like to be without a mom" she adds.

"Yeah...wait, how did you-"

"Marty hacked into your file at school" Zoe explains. "He's going to get in trouble breaking into other people's business".

"I think the FBI is going to arrest him for that".

Both girls laughed as they joked about it. Langford has never had a moment like this in her life, one where she would just laugh and socialize with a person she could call "friend".

A blue alpine came driving up the mountain. It was Susan, alongside Ramon and Marty. The captain had a stern look in her face.

"What are you two doing here?" Asked Zoe.

"We hitched a ride" explained Marty.

"I'm guessing you came to apologize" she adds.

"Where have you been?!" Exclaimed the captain. "I was worried sick!".

"I'm sorry, Susan" Erika responded as she looked down.

"A simple sorry aint gonna do it, sweetheart" the captain pointed out. " you left without an explanation and without a form to find you. Thank god I didn't call the intelligence department to get their men to find you!".

"I didn't mean to scare you" added third child. "I just...wanted to be a better pilot. You know, one that followed orders. I didn't want to be sent away."

Susan then sighed.

"Look, I can forgive you" she told her. "But I'm worried about your safety and well-being".

Langford then looked up at her.

"I'm your guardian, Erika. I care for you. If something happened to you out there, I'd never forgive myself, ever" she added.

"So...I'm not getting sent away?" Erika asked.

"Of course not" responded the captain. "But you are grounded".

"That's good enough for me" replies third child with a smile.

"Erika!" Exclaimed Ramon. "I'm sorry for almost hitting you and for being rude. Please, hit me back."

"You're joking, right?" Zoe asked him. "That's your apology?"

"Come on! give it your best shot!".

Without thinking it over, the third child threw the hardest punch she could. Ramon fell to the ground in an instant. Once that was over, Whitehall drove everyone to their homes and called it a day. Back at the apartment, Susan sat at the table to start a conversation with her.

"I heard about what happened at the boarding school" she told her. " You wanna talk about it?".

Erika sat silent for a while, then spoke about it.

"The other girls....they heard about what happened to my mom" Erika explained. "They bullied me and placed me in constant ridicule, while the teachers always blamed me for being the foreigner. My father...never wrote back the cards I sent him. I felt isolated and alone over there."

"But during the summer and the holidays, who did you live with?".

"A college professor who was a close friend to my mother...came to stay in Geneva" answered third child. " he took me in during the holidays and the summer. He cared for me as if I were his own."

"What happened to him?".

"As I began 7th grade, he left to another country" she remembers. "Last I heard, he was in Germany; working for the government's science department."

"Ok, and about the incidents?" Whitehall kept asking.

"I...tried to defend myself from other girls several times" Erika recalled. "They forced me to break property within the school for fun, and I would end up getting the blame for all of it. None of the teachers believed me when I tried to explain what really happened".

"I see" said the captain. "So how about here? Do you like living here in Colorado?".

"I like it here, living in Spring City " third child responded. "I've actually made friends, and I feel like I can call this place home. It feels...comfortable".

"I'm glad to hear that" the captain stated as she got up. "By the way, I've added a little decoration to your room. I think you might like it".

As Erika went to her room, she saw that the front door had a sign that said Erika's personal suite, decorated in the shape of a heart.

"Thanks Susan" the 14 year old thanked her. "I love it".

"Your welcome, good night".

"Good night".

"Children are hard to understand" thought the captain as she went to bed. "But it just takes time I guess".