Chapter Twenty-Three - I'll Never Turn Back Time...

About a week later, we attended Emily's funeral. I had to give a speech about her.

I used my crutches to walk up on stage and read the speech out in the crowd of over a 100 people.

"Well, I would have to say... I loved her so much, I could even say, she was my favorite child. I related to her in so many levels more than a father should. I was a friend, musician companion, and father to this amazing, beautiful, young daughter that I once had. She missed Lynn on so many levels, I can see why. She seem to be one of her wonderful mother figures. To the day, I remember when I went to pick her up at the police station, that I changed her life forever, the day that you knew me to be your father, and the day that you ran away from home. I was there for you no matter what it was, talking about her issues those nights to even, trying to save her life that night in the car crash. That night, I asked myself why couldn't it had been me that died in the car crash? Why couldn't I died in that coma she had? Well, I personally think that it was for me to tell you the story of her, for her memory to be immortalized. I know, that she's not on this planet anymore, I just now know, you're daddy's little bundle of joy... I love you Emily. I was going to dedicate 'Goodbye To Romance' for one of my bands side projects to be on my next record to her. That was her favorite song," I walked off the stage and then I noticed it was just a memory from the funeral then, I woke up sweating about to cry because I missed her tremendously.

The death of Emily wasn't a death I could get over. To this very day, almost a year after her death impacted my life more than anyone else's death, other than my own father. A few days after I moved into the house in Newport Beach, I dug through her things to bring back memories. I always remembered her on Christmases and birthdays.

I found that sky blue notebook that said on the front with her handwriting, DO NOT TOUCH! UNTIL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY! I opened the notebook and the day Lynn was diagnosed with breast cancer to the day of her death was documented in there. I wrote this to end her story and hopefully publish it to become a novel or something like that.

I contacted a publishing company to publish the book the person asked me, "Billie, what would you like to title the book?"

It just came to me, "Rage And Love, Story Of My Life," off of our 2004 album, American Idiot.

Nobody hardly asks me about Emily anymore, I hope she isn't forgotten. Whenever someone asks me, I will tell them the story of Emily Cheyenne Armstrong. A story of a young, courageous, beautiful woman who shall never be forgotten as long as I live. Of course, she had issues like you and me, some more than others.

It became a number one best selling novel and I was interviewed for the book a bunch of times. When we went in the studio to record our new album, Father Of All... and I felt like Emily would be very proud of me writing new music again.

I know you probably didn't want me to write in this notebook, I know you would be really proud of it becoming a number one best seller. I'm pretty sure that nobody would forget you.

I love you, Billie!