A Wedding Already?!

"Did you just say your condition for marriage is the death of the human king?" Joe asked. "Because that is what it sounds like."

"I did." Yuna replied. "I have a score to settle with him for summoning me here and ruining my life. Do you have a problem with my request?"

"No, it is just unexpected." Joe explained. "Fine, I will allow you to kill the human king, but you have to figure out a way to restore peace after he is gone."

"As long as he dies." Yuna smiled.

"Yuna you want to kill the king?" Elvin said with a worried expression on her face.

"Yes, I made up my mind to kill him right after he summoned me here." Yuna explained. "After all I learned since then has only strengthened my resolve to end his life."

"But you can't get into the city right now." Elvin explained. "The barrier weakens you too much."

"I will just find him when he isn't in the city." Yuna said. "That tower he summoned me from isn't protected I will end his life there."

"If you are done plotting your regicide, can we plan our wedding?" Joe asked. "I would like something quick and informal, but I understand you human females enjoy extravagant events."

"Honestly I don't care." Yuna said. "I was never one of those little girls who dreamed of marrying a prince in a big castle. Though I am marrying in a big castle now, just a demon lord instead of a prince. I didn't really see this coming."

"Oh great, if you don't mind, let's get started then!" Joe said. "The elf girl will serve as your witness and my sister shall serve as mine." Joe then took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Tyrell get in here."

Tyrell immediately appeared from the shadows. "You called my lord." She said while kneeling before her bother.

Joe then turns his attention back to Yuna. "Tell me woman, is it true that sisters call their elder brothers big bro, in human culture."

"In some parts of my world." Yuna sighed. "And are you really going to just refer to me as woman? Aren't we about to get hitched?"

"Well, you never introduced yourself." Joe said. "I thought it would be rude to make a name up for you, so I just addressed you as woman."

"Wait, did she just say you were getting married?!" Tyrell shouted in shock.

"Yes, yes." Joe said. "Now calm down and serve as my witness."

"Yuna. My name is Yuna." She said.

"Sister, back to what I was discussing earlier." Joe said. "I wish for you to call me big bro."

"I would rather not my lord." Tyrell refused. "I would like to know more about this marriage. How long have you even known this woman?"

"What would you say Yuna?" Joe asked. "About ten minutes or so."

"My lord you shouldn't marry people after only meeting them for ten minutes." Tyrell explained.

"You know I said the same thing." Yuna agreed. "The demon lord was very demanding that I marry him. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and he let me make any request I wanted."

"And what did you request human?" Tyrell asked.

"She asked if she could kill the human king." Joe explained. "I told her if that's what it took, then it was fine by me."

"What?!" Tyrell asked. "I like her. You have my blessing."

"Not that I needed it." Joe sighed. "Now that the witnesses are present let's proceed with the ceremony! Yuna come stand next to me."

Yuna did as she was instructed and stood next to her future husband. "Okay now what?" She asked. "Please don't tell me we have to kiss."

"That's a human custom, not a demon one." Joe said. "Just repeat after me, only change my name to your name and your name to my name. Got it? Okay. I Joe take Yuna to be my wife, no matter what problems may come we shall remain as one for all eternity or until one of us dies."

Yuna started repeating Joe. "I Yuna, take Joe, to be my wife, no matter what problems…"

"No!" Joe said interrupting Yuna's speech. "You have to change the wife part to husband. I thought that was self-explanatory."

"I was just doing what you asked Joe, by the way what kind of demon lord is named Joe?" Yuna asked.

"Joe is the name I picked out to be more approachable by humans." Joe explained. "My name originally was Malthus, but I considered it too intimidating for humans and changed my name to Joe. Now please say your line."

Yuna sighed. She couldn't believe she was about to tie the knot. She never thought the day would come. She fully believed she would just be one of those women who had a house full of cats in their old age. "I Yuna, take Malthus, to be my husband…"

"No, my name is Joe remember." Joe interrupted her. "Try it again."

"But I like Malthus better." Yuna sighed. "Joe sounds like a sleepy old man running for president."

"I don't know what you mean by that." Joe said. "But please call me Joe."

"I Yuna, take Joe, to be my husband. No matter what problems may occur we shall remain as one for all eternity or until one of us dies." She said to her new husband.

"Finally." Joe said. "Now with our declaration of eternal union let us be wed. Let both the human world and the demon world now live together as my wife and I are together. I am no longer to be referred to as demon lord, now I shall be addressed as demon king. Let my wife be forevermore addressed at the demon queen. My word is law and I have spoken."

"So that's it?" Yuna asked. "We are married now?"

"Well we still need to bite each other." Joe explained.

"Bite?!" Yuna screamed.

"Yes, leaving our teeth marks in the others flesh is a sign of wedlock." Joe explained. "Normally we bite the shoulder, but I can bite you wherever you wish."

"Um can we not bite?" Yuna said. "Maybe use the human tradition of rings instead?"

"A fair request." Joe said. "I understand human women do not like to scar up their flesh. We shall wear rings instead. Joe then took Yuna's hand and placed his fingers over her ring finger. A band of black shadow formed on her finger and etched its way into her flesh. After Joe finished with Yuna's hand he proceeded to do the same on his own. "There now we are officially married."