Subject 008: Taking Joy

"And they say if we'll only avoid any direct confrontation with the enemy, he'll forget his evil ways and learn to love us. All who oppose them are indicted as warmongers."

-President Ronald Reagan

I laid on my side on my hospital bed, with the thin, white covers over my head. I had no idea what my next Operation was going to be, and I certainly didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to wait on it, either.

I had my eyes closed. For a long time, I stayed like this, unable to fall asleep. A few times I opened my eyes, but it was only three or so times because I heard somebody come in.

I wasn't sure if anybody called to me, or just came in to put things down, or whatever. I honestly didn't really care. I didn't want anybody to bother me either. It felt like if somebody came in and tried to, I would lash out at them.

I knew I wouldn't because if I did, I would get a shot of Therozene. Now I really didn't want to get caught up in that crap again.

Somebody came in again, and it definitely wasn't a staff or nurse or doctor or guard or whoever normally would come in here. This was Dr. Frentz, Dr. Stark and somebody else. It was another one of Dr. Frentz's Assistants. My eyes opened once I heard their voices.

No. Hell No, I wasn't ready for this. Just get the hell out of this room. Goodness, I wanted to say that...

"Looks like she's asleep." Dr. Stark confirmed. As if they were talking about it before coming into the room. Maybe he was trying to bet on it, and won it.

"Well, she'll need to wake up in a little bit." Dr. Frentz pointed out. "We've got to chat.. about the next Operation."

"Right," He replied. Then I heard footsteps clicking towards me.

"You know the rules," Dr. Frentz calmly reminded his Assistant.

I scoffed after hearing that. I'm pretty sure they heard that. If they did, who cares? Hahaha... they might do something...

Of course, I wanted them to get the hell out of this room! So, to speed this up faster, I threw the covers off me with my arm, and sat up.

"Ah... She's awake." Stark pointed out.

Now I saw the third person in the room. It was... the man from the hallway on my Unit.. the one with the black hair with dirty blonde streaks... they look more golden now that I get a better look at them...

Wait. If he was one of Dr. Frentz's Assistants, then why was he in the Unit's halls in the first place? Was he just passing through or...

"7295," Dr. Frentz began, making sure I was listening. "How are you feeling?"

Like shit.

"Are you not going to respond?" He asked calmly.

Hell no.

Dr. Frentz decided to move on, since the only thing I would do was stare at him. I wouldn't move or make a sound.

"This is Dr. Tarra." He motioned with his left arm towards the semi-hard looking Assistant. He looks more visible here than in those grey looking hallways.

"I suppose the First Operation went well?" Dr. Tarra asked with a determined calm and cool tone of voice. He also gestured his hand towards me before resting it back on his waist.

"I did... except with all the twitching, trembles, and jerking..." Dr. Frentz gently answered. It seemed he was mocking me or making fun of me in some sort of way. He had a slight disapproval from the way his body movements were.

"Wouldn't you like to see that?" Dr. Stark gave Dr. Tarra a look of both interest and disapproval. Seemed like he disliked his co-worker's disturbing nature. He put his hands in his pockets, as if there were something or somebody in the room giving off a bad vibe.

Great... nervousness, anxious... What more will come? Uncomfortable...

Oh, just get the hell out of my room. I'm not interested. I'd rather die than listen to more of this, and go through another Operation. Especially with a Head Scientist-Doctor's Assistant who's all hot for watching a painful Operation.

Then again, that's got me thinking... My dream... maybe living through it is worth doing. Will I ever get to see him...? Whoever that figure was? I would actually live through that.

Dr. Tarra began walking towards me. It seems he'd already been given the 'okay' by Dr. Frentz. All of Dr. Frentz's Assistants were obligated to get permission to examine me.

"You said female, correct?" He asked Dr Frentz with his fancy pantsy way of speaking as he reached into his left white coat pocket for something. He was referring to me when he said "Female".

Honestly... It felt weird, with him addressing me like that.

"Correct," The Head Scientist-Doctor gave him a nod. He also gave out a sigh, as if it was starting to cause an arm and a leg to speak about me.

Funny, how much did he say it cost just to create me? As far as I remembered, I was worth billions. Well... along the lines of that.

"7295." Dr. Tarra addressed me, using my said name.

I silently looked at him. Why did I even respond? Was it because I felt fear from the dark and mysterious vibe he was giving off? Wait...

Was I even scared of him...?

Oh no.

Oh no, not this! Please tell me the Anti-Dopamine isn't working for me. What sort of feelings were they not wanting me to feel? Which feelings are they?!

Even if I had no idea what every feeling was called, I still wanted to know which ones they didn't want me to feel.

Dr. Tarra snapped a few fingers in front of my face.

I didn't even flinch. I just stared up at him like he was unworthy to see any reaction come out of me.

"We'll wait outside, "Dr. Frentz knew what his Assistant was doing and intending on doing. Dr. Stark seemed to know too. "Call if you did anything or if something happens."

"Right," He responded. He stared down at me while his two co-workers stepped out.

There was a long moment of silence before Dr. Tarra began his 'little experiment'. He grabbed onto the side bars of my hospital bed as if to steady himself for what was about to come. He gripped so tightly, he looked as if he were going to flat out fall on his ass. As he started walking closer to me, he asked "How does it feel being put down by orders of the Head Scientist-Doctor?" He was trying to sound dark and intimidating, but he sure as well didn't scare me like he used to. Funny how I'm starting to remember him now.

This was a ba-dum moment for me. I almost burst out laughing. I really wanted to laugh in this man's face. What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you trying to do? He was trying to draw fear and sadness from me. Hahahaha, guess what, dumbass! I felt nooothing.

I just stared at him, trying my hardest to not grin. Failed. I ended up grinning. This caused the man to become embarrassed. He had to walk out of the room, just to fetch his boss. Bark bark.

Then I realized...

They were trying to take my feelings from me. My emotions. The emotions that made up a certain part of my personality. Dr. Tarra was only trying to experiment on me, but got embarrassed after I thought it was funny. I laughed at him.

"All my sins... they won't fade"

I knew all too well that I just... I really, really needed to get out. Soon. Just... just as soon as possible. I wonder what they're talking about right now... maybe about the next Operation and/or maybe when the best time would do it...?

"But they'll soon be erased"

I'm choosing to go through with my plan. I'm going to go aloft. Over the night, I thought about what I was going to do and at what time it would be best. So tonight, I'm going to rest for a few hours and then just when morning comes, while everybody is still asleep... I am going to carry out my plan.