Chapter 6. Crushed Dreams.

Kyoko was standing there with the usaba in her hand. The radish was on a table on the stage, finely sliced, into the pattern of a rose. She was done. All the judges were standing, to get a better view of the radish rose. The President started clapping with an impressed expression, the other judges followed him.

"That was marvelous. Katsuramuki is such an old and delicate art. It takes months or maybe even years to practice. She is only a teenager yet she did it like a pro." The President commented on her performance.

"That was quite impressive sir, but this is not a cooking contest." One of the judges pointed out to the president.

"Yes, but I am quite interested in seeing how she will do in the next round."

.

.

.

Kyoko felt like she could take on the world. She did it. Of course, she was going to do it. When Mr. Swara pointed out to her that she had to grab the president's attention, she knew that ordinary talents won't work. Even if slicing didn't have anything to do with acting, she was sure that she'll make it to the next round.

The contestants were all sent back to the waiting room at the end of the first round. They were asked to wait there for the results.

Twenty minutes later, a man came in with a chart paper. He put it on the wall and left. It had the names of the contestants who were proceeding to the second round.

Everyone gathered around it to look for their names. Kyoko did the same. There were only twelve names out of sixty-one. Kyoko's name was one of them. She moved back a little and did a victory fist-bump in the air.

"You, vegetable girl." someone called out to her. It was the same raven-haired girl from the morning, who had insulted her for no reason. She remembered her name, it was Kanae.

"What do you want?"

"Peeling a daikon radish, that was impressive."

She was not so bad after all. "Thank y-"

"And completely weird. I am sure all the judges would remember you." Her tone had a hint of envy in it.

"There's no need to be jealous." Kyoko replied in a cocky voice.

"Who the hell said I am jealous?" She shouted. "Now look," she regained her composure and continued, "don't misunderstand me, what you did helped you to stand out and maybe even made the President notice you for a bit, but, only because peeling vegetables has nothing to do with acting. You are unique. An endangered animal rarely seen in the wild, like a Pygmy Hippopotamus." Kyoko was listening to her intently. Did she just call me a hippo? She turned furious.

"I have a prediction." Now her voice was cocky. "I bet I'll waltz in and pass the auditions with flying colors and you will waddle in and fall flat on your face." She tucked in her hair haughtily.

"I'll be the Shakespearean hero and you'll be my fool." She smirked and walked away.

She did it again. What was her problem? Why did she have to come and ruin her moment? One second, Kyoko was boosting with confidence and the next, this girl came and shattered it like glass and left her in self doubt. She just pissed her off so much.

She was right though, Kyoko thought.

No! She was not going to let her have that satisfaction by doubting herself. That was exactly why she came to talk smack in the first place.

"The second round is about to begin. Please proceed to the stage, whose names were on the chart." The same man, who had put the poster earlier said and left. Kyoko slapped both her cheeks simultaneously to focus and to forget about that girl.

.

.

.

There were twelve chairs placed side by side on the stage. The contestant settled down on those chairs for the second round. Kyoko was on the last chair on the right. To her dismay, that girl, Kanae, was right next to her. She was trying hard to focus but one look at her and she would start boiling again.

She called me a fool. I will show her who's a fool when I beat her.

But problem was, she wasn't sure if she could beat her. In the first round, she was amazing. Her talent was acting, so she was given a script by the judges to perform. Even Kyoko, who knew nothing about acting, was surprised to see the sudden change in her eyes when she acted. It looked like she was a different person altogether .

.

.

.

A few minutes after, the judges came in again settled on their spots behind the podium.

The anchor started, "Now, in this round, we want you to do a short improvisation." He held out a phone in his hand. "You are going to hear a voice on the other end of this phone. And we just wanna see how you choose to react in response to whatever it is you hear."

He passed the phone to the first girl on the left. She clutched it to her to ear and listened.

Kyoko couldn't see her face from her direction. She still focused on her to listen to her reply. After a while she did reply, but Kyoko still couldn't listen to it because Kanae, who was sitting next to her, leaned in close and whispered in her ear,

"This is it, everyone says that the path to signing up with LME starts with a phone improv."

"Huh?" Why was she telling this to her? Was she helping her?

"They say that the dialogue in different every year and it's personally written by the president himself. If you can't catch his attention here, then there is no way you can move on."

The phone was passed to Kanae, who stood up and held it to the ear.

What? It was her turn already. Kyoko panicked. She was confused at first, why this girl was suddenly helping her, turned out, she was actually trying to distract her from observing the other contestants. Her only advantage was that she had to go at last, she could have had the chance to see the other's performances. But, now it was Kanae's turn already. She didn't get the chance to notice anyone else's performance because of her babbling.

Kyoko looked at Kanae intently, since that was her only chance to know what she had to do. She closed her eyes and listened to the phone. After a while, she opened them again. They were watery, sparkling with bright tears. Her expression was sad, yet joyous at the same time. She was a different person again. "I love you." She whispered back to whatever she heard.

"Whoa, real tears, that sort of thing is not easy to pull off in such a short improvisational exercise." The judges were bewildered by Kanae's performance.

"She's quite talented sir, isn't she?"

"Yes, indeed." The President nodded with quite a fascinated and impressed look.

Kanae was done. She blinked and her eyes were back to the normal. She passed the phone to Kyoko.

It was bad enough to go right after her, on top of that, she had no idea what to do, no special strategy this time to make her stand out. She had thought that she would get an idea by observing others, but the only one she could observe was Kanae, who literally cried. She was no match for her. She couldn't do something like that, no matter how hard she tried. In the end, she decided to just act naturally. That was her safest bet.

She held the phone nervously to her ear and listened. A male voice spoke in an apologetic tone. "I was a fool. I tried dating other girls after you. None of them worked out. They all said that they couldn't be with me because I'm arrogant, stubborn and self-involved." The moment Kyoko heard that, she was surprised because they were the exact words she was planning to hear from Sho. "I finally understand, you're the only one who cared for me. I know that I'm being selfish. I'm sorry. But can you give me just one more chance?"

How did he dare to say that to her, after what he did? Kyoko forgot that it was not actually Sho. The words she was craving to hear for so long were just spoken to her. Her mind clicked. She was not at the agency giving auditions anymore. Sho called her and was begging her for another chance.

Her eyes displayed the hate she felt inside. She was shaking from rage. She emitted an aura of loathing and hostility, to the point at which she looked possessed. The vibes were so scary that despite the heat, everyone in that room shivered.

"It's like death from her eyes." A judge said.

"Another chance?" Kyoko finally whispered. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she smiled tenderly. She was the old Kyoko again. "Of course," she said in her old shrill voice, "I always knew that you'd say that and come back to me."

The president stood up and gasped with the most impressed expression, he could manage. He put his palms of the podium as if he would fall without the support.

"Yes!" Swara whispered beside him and bumped his fist in the air.

"Yeah...No!" Kyoko stopped smiling. Her voice was deeper again. "If empty sorries can make everything better, then nobody has to go to hell." She screamed at the top of her lungs and threw down the phone with maximum force, which produced a crunching sound upon hitting the floor. That snapped her back to the reality.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to break the phone." She looked at the judges. The President looked very sad and disappointed. Mr Swara was hiding his face with his hands. The other judges didn't say anything.

How did she do? Why weren't they saying anything? She waited for them to say something but no one told her anything.

.

.

.

She failed. After all she did, all that effort, Kyoko still failed. How was this possible? She studied the chart on the wall more carefully as if by reading it again, her name would magically appear. She desperately read each name but no matter how many times she checked the list, the fact that her name was not present did not change. After a while, the others left the waiting room some happily and some vanquished. She still stood there. If she couldn't get into LME then there was no way she could get her revenge.

"If you wanna get close to me, then you'll have to become a somebody first. The only way you can do that is if you too break into the entertainment world. And we both know that's impossible. So, give up and go home."

Sho's words echoed in her mind. It did not help. A hot tear emerged from her eye and rolled down her cheek.

No! She violently rubbed her eyes. She had sworn that she was not going to waste any more tears on that jerk.

She wasn't going down without a fight. The judges didn't even comment on her performance. She briskly walked towards Swara's office to demand the answers she needed, like what did she do wrong?

.

.

.

"I figured you would be here to see me."

Swara said when he looked up and found Kyoko. "Sit down."

She sat down and gave him a questioning look.

"Your performance was quite intense. It wasn't just the President, Mr Matsushima, the judge who is the head of the acting division also liked what you did."

"Then, why? Was it because i smashed the cell phone in a blinding fit of rage?"

"Oddly, it wasn't that. Those destined for stardom share a certain 'it' factor that frankly, you completely lack."

She looked confused.

"Here, for example, what comes to your mind when I say the word love?"

"Murder, annihilation and death." She replied honestly in a freaky voice as the face of Sho popped into her mind.

Swara gave a hopeless sigh, which meant that she gave the wrong answer.

I shouldn't be so darn honest.

"Look, you will not succeed if you are in this business just for yourself." He tried to explain. "If you can't understand that being a celebrity comes with the responsibility that resides out of self interest then you're just faking it. As our President always say, 'if you want to be a true professional and be respected in your field, you have to remember that the most important part of your job is to love your audience, just as much as you hope to be loved in return.' that's the reason, the President designed the phone improv..."

Kyoko wasn't listening to him anymore. What is it to love and to want to be loved?, she thought. The concept of love felt alien to her as the love in her had died. A memory came to her mind. Mrs Fuwa had once said something similar to her.

.

.

.

Kyoko was ten. She was dressed up in a kimono. Mrs Fuwa was teaching her to host a tea ceremony. She sat with her on her knees. Her feet were aching because of sitting on the hard tatami mat while maintaining her posture for so long. Tears welled up in her eyes because of the pain. Mrs Fuwa then said,

"Kyoko, whenever you are in front of customers, you have to keep smiling, no matter what. Do you understand? Our business depends on people feeling happy that they decided to come here. That they wanna come back and see us again. Your job is to help the customers love our hotel and everything about it. It's a friendship. We want the people who came through those doors, to love us. That's why we can never forget to love them back..."

So it's the same with showbiz.

"Excuse me."

"What?"

"Sir, I understand."

"That's not what I was expecting." Swara looked quite surprised. "I was sure you'd be more stubborn than that. What happened to the unstoppable girl, who stopped me like a maniac."

She wasn't listening to him. Because there was a whirlwind of emotions she felt at that moment. It all came back to love. She could love before. But Sho took it away from her. She thought that she would be stronger without love, but turned out, she had nothing else.

If you love someone, there is no guarantee that they will ever love you back.

"Help me understand, how it's possible to love so many people when you've never even met them before."

Swara could see pain and gloom in her eyes. She looked nothing like that crazy stalker anymore. Instead, she looked more mature and older. Someone who had been through a lot.

"Well, the desire to become a star is by it's nature also the desire to be seen and loved. That's just how it is."

"Yeah. I knew that feeling." She got up and started to leave. Her eyes were full of sadness. She left and never turned back again. Swara couldn't understand what was going on in her head, he just couldn't figure her out at all.

Kyoko had no more hope. She knew that she could never love again. If this business required love then there was no chance for her. She left the agency with crushed dreams and bright tears.

To be continued.