Chapter 53- That's it, it's done with us

''Get out'' He demands as he opens the door for me.

''What? no, why? where are we?'' I question, I have so many questions right now to ask.

''Get out'' He repeats. He's so drunk, it's clear in his voice and his scent.

He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the car.

''This is a lesson to teach you that you need to stay away'' He says and gets in his car.

Wait! No what is he doing?

''Hero what are doing?'' I question him and he closes the door and speeds off.

I watch as his car disappears in 5 seconds along the dirt road. No, no he isn't leaving! He can't leave me out here, he will come back. It's a deserted area with many cacti and huge boulders and crevices. The place is gloomy and lonely and the only sounds I hear are crickets chirping. There is one streetlight away from me and it's the only light around this area, if it wasn't for that light I wouldn't have been able to see. I walk to the light and stand under it unsure of what to do and I start feeling fearful when the light outs and the only thing I can see is total darkness.

I turn on my phone, my only light source and just as I'm about to call Hero I notice that my phone has no signal. No, no this can't be happening he will come back, he can't leave me out here in the middle of nowhere in a deserted area in darkness at night all by myself where something or someone is likely is kill me. I stand in my place and tears fill my eyes and they fall as soon as I hear coyotes and wolves howling and they don't sound too far. I begin walking, to where?

I don't know where but I just keep walking hoping to find some light or a road or something or at least someone who can help me but I know Hero will come back, he's probably going to come back in the next 2 minutes or so so I wouldn't go too far in case he can't find me when he comes back. I know he's mad at me but he won't just leave me out here where something is likely to kill me.

********

It's been hours since I've been out here walking in the rain and still no sign of Hero. Who was kidding? I knew he wouldn't come back, he probably went back to that girl who was rubbing his shoulder and who was all over him at the party downstairs. I try not to think about Hero and his whereabouts and focus on mine. I've been walking for hours in the rain trying to find a way out of here while trembling in fear while tears fall down my cheeks. Where am I going?

He has left me places before like the ice cream shop then the dark lonely road but he didn't stay away for so long. He came back for me at the ice cream shop and it was open and I was inside a building not out in a lonely deserted area far away from everything and everyone. When he dropped me off at in the dark silence deafening road he got out of the car and came for me in less than a minute, this is the worst place he has left me and this is the longest he's taking to come back, please let him come back.

I just keep walking hoping to see a car or someone who can help me like tell me where the road is or how I get back to Escondido but then again I always see in movies what they do to hitchhikers or people who are out here like this at night, they either kidnap them or kill them or maybe both.

More tears fall from my eyes as I feel like I'm walking in circles not seeing any light or a road or anything. The storm has really come down since I've been out here and now I'm soaking wet. Relief washes through me as I see an old phone booth. I run-up to it and I immediately put the phone to my ear but reality hits me, who am I going to call?

There's no one. Hero for sure will not answer and even if he does he will not come for me, Nelson I can't because well after what happened a few days ago between us and I don't want him to think I'm just using him, my mom.

I can't because well I just can't because too many questions would arise and she would just scold me and give me a long lecture about making better decisions and all that, my dad no because then he would ask way too many questions about how I got here in the first place and I would have no explanation and he would just tell my mom and the same goes for Erin and April. I literally have no one to call.

Something hits me like a ton of bricks, I can call Evelyn.

I don't want her to think I'm using her because I'm not. I'm hungry, tired and most of all terrified and I think anyone would if they were in my situation. I dial her number and I sigh in relief as she answers the phone on the second ring.

''Hi Sia'' She says.

''Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if you could help me?''

''Sure Sia, what is it?'' She asks her voice full of concern.

''I'm stuck out here in some deserted area and I have no idea how to get back to Escondido''

''Of course, I'll come to get you, where are you?''

''I don't know''

''Look for landmarks'' She says and I look around and the only thing I see is an almost broken down sign saying route 31 and another sign above that saying Sand Dune trail.

I tell her what I see and she says that she will use GPS and try to find me and to just stay there by the telephone booth and wait for her.

After about 45 minutes I see lights flashing in the distance and relief rushes through me as I see Evelyn behind the driver's seat.

''Sia are you okay?'' She asks as she takes in my appearance.

''No, I've been stuck out there for hours and I finally found a phone booth to call you because my phone didn't have any signal'' I cry into my hands.

''I'm sorry for bothering you this late''

''Sia don't you be sorry it's not a problem'' She assures me.

''How did you get there?''

''I'd rather not talk about it'' I tell her.

"Did someone hurt you?" She asks and shake my head.

Hero hurt me and keeps hurting me.

''Okay well let's get you warmed up inside''

''I really don't think I should be here this late, I'm intruding''

''Sia it's fine you're always welcome here'' She says as we walk inside their house.

''Sia honey, what happened?'' Claire asks with great worry in her eyes.

''Mom she doesn't wanna talk about it'' Evelyn answers for me.

''Okay well come over here and get warmed up'' Claire leads me to the living room.

We sit on the couch and I realize that both Mr. and Mrs. Stefan are in their robes and I look at the time and it's almost 2 in the morning. Oh gosh, these people aren't even my family, I shouldn't be intruding in their house at this late hour.

''I am so sorry for coming in like this in your home this late'' I tell Mrs. Stefan as she hands me a hot cup of tea and she tells me it's no problem and I'm welcome here anytime.

The tea is delicious and it calms me a bit after a few sips.

''What kind of tea is this?'' I ask.

''Chamomile and honey'' She answers.

''Sia honey when you're ready to talk about it we're here'' Mr. Stefan says.

''Thank you'' I tell them.

''Hero and I got in a fight at a party and then he got mad at me and dropped me off there'' I tell them as I look down at the teacup.

''He dropped you off there?'' Evelyn asks me with widened eyes and I nod.

''What was the fight about?'' Mr. Stefan asks.

''I caught him downstairs with some other people smoking pot'' I say and his father lets out a huge sigh in distress.

''So he got mad because you caught him smoking?'' Evelyn asks and I nod.

''Is there a room or anything I could stay in?'' I ask and a sniffle comes out.

''Yes, of course, Evelyn show Sia to the guestroom''

''Honey do you want anything to eat?''

''No thank you'' I say and follow Evelyn upstairs.

She leads me into a room with a medium sized bed in the middle and a might stand next to them with a lamp. She shows me the bathroom at the side and she says this is the only guestroom in the house with a bathroom in it. We both sit on the bed and engage in a short conversation.

''I knew that he smokes but I didn't think pot''

''You didn't smell it on him or anything?''

''I smelt smoke on him a few times but I wasn't sure if it was pot before tonight I didn't even know what pot smelt like''

''And then he had this girl all over him practically throwing herself at him and then he pulled me out of the room and drove me there''

''Did you confront him about it? you know about the girl throwing herself at him?'' She asks.

''Yeah then he said that he slept with her that I was ruining his reputation''

''He slept with her?'' She asks and I nod.

''Do you really think he would do that?'' She asks the same question I keep asking myself.

''I don't know, I just really don't know but I hope not. Every time he's drunk and angry he always says really horrible things to me and after he apologizes and says that he didn't mean it but he just said it to hurt me''

''Maybe he just said that he slept with her to hurt you too but he didn't mean it''

''I hope so''

''What reputation was he talking about?''

''The one where he can't be seen with girls like me''

''And the worst part about tonight was that he just left me out there. He didn't even care that something bad could've happened to me'' I sob.

''Sia, you wanna know what I think?'' She asks and I nod.

''Well I think Hero does care about you maybe even more than you think but he just has a different way of showing it''

''If you care about someone you wouldn't treat them like that''

''That's just the way he is. Maybe that's the way he treats everyone and maybe the ones that he cares about the most are the ones that he treats the worst because he tries to fight the feeling that he cares, he tries to fight the feeling that he doesn't care about you when really he does'' She says.

''Even if he does which I doubt he does I don't even care''

''So you don't care about him?''

''No, he keeps hurting me all the time. Sometimes he would be the sweetest person in the world and whenever we're in public especially around his friends he acts so different like I'm nothing and he doesn't even know me''

''Why do you think he does that?''

''I don't know because we're just different I guess and sometimes I think that he's embarrassed by me''

''Did you know that Hero used to live in Detroit?''

''I thought it was Connecticut'' she says.

''No it was Detroit''

''Hero told his father that he was living in Connecticut after he moved out here''

He used to live here?'' I ask.

''Yeah it was first week he and his father moved here but then he moved out. I really thought it was Connecticut'' She says.

Hero was lying to everyone, he was living in Detroit two years ago not Connecticut. I still can't believe that he used to live here but it was only for a week but still. I can't help but wonder what happened in Detroit that Hero doesn't wanna tell me about, something that would make me not wanna be with him.

What happened in Detroit? No one even knew that he was living there. I wanna find out so bad.

Evelyn and I continue to talk for a while. We talk about Hero until I ask her if we can change the topic and she says yes and talks about how their dinner was. She says that Hero's uncle is returning to Ireland in a few days and I ask her if she's ever been there and she says no but it's definitely on her bucket list. She eventually leaves the room and returns with some clean clothes that she said I could wear for the night, I thank her and she says if I need anything else to just come downstairs and ask.

I get in the shower and I try to let the hot water calm me as I enjoy the long shower. I try not to think of tonight's events because I'll just end up getting stressed and crying again.

I get out of the shower and I realize that I left the clothes on the bed instead of bringing them in here to change.

I wrap my towel around me and walk into the bedroom but just as I open the door my eyes widen and I hold onto the door handle to keep my balance as I notice Hero with his hands in his pockets staring at me with bloodshot eyes.

Hero's POV

I look right at Sia and she just had to be looking sexy like that. Her towel is wrapped around her reaching the middle of her thighs while her hair is wet and covering her shoulders, god she's so fucking sexy. We just stare at each other for a moment, both of us unsure what to say to the other. She tries to run in the bathroom but I run after her and stop the door with my hand from closing.

''Go away'' She tells me as I step in front of her in the bathroom.

''In case you forgot this is my father's house'' I remind her.

''Fine then I'll go'' She says and walks past me into the bedroom and I follow her of course.

She reaches for some folded clothes on the bed but I take them from her before. She tries taking them from me but I raise my arm to the highest and hold them up as I know she can't reach.

''Give it to me'' She demands.

''No, not until we talk''

''No, there is nothing to talk about''

''Yes there is''

''Okay fine let me change first then we will'' She lies.

''After you change you're gonna keep trying to run away'' I tell her.

She still tries to get the clothes from me but I walk to the bathroom and before I even think about what I'm doing I do it. I throw the clothes in the bathroom and turn the shower on.

I turn around to see Sia staring at the soaked clothes with horror in her eyes.

She looks through all the drawers trying to find clothes to wear but she doesn't find anything. I pull her arm back making her look at me.

''We need to talk''

''No, don't touch me and leave'' She says and pulls away.

''Well the faster we talk is the faster I can leave'' I say.

''Really! Oh great please start talking'' She says with clear sarcasm in her voice but I start anyway. I turn around and face the opposite of her while I walk around the room and start talking.

''We met almost three months ago and since then things have been good sometimes and things have been horrible but mostly horrible and that's why this has to-'' I stop as I turn around to look at her and she has this stupid sarcastic look on her face with the fakest smile.

I walk up to her and step right in front of her.

''Wipe that stupid look off your face and listen to me, this is serious!'' I tell her well more like shout at her and now she looks a bit scared but I don't care I have to do this, this has gone too far.

I turn back around with my back to her and continue to walk around the room as I continue to talk.

''Like I was saying this between you and me has to end. You will not say anything about me or anything that you know about me to anyone and I will do the same with you. Whatever happened between us in the last three months is over. We will not ever see each other again, I will not come to see you and you will not come to see me, that's it, it's done'' I tell her and as I turn around to look at her she has tears filled in her eyes and she looks destroyed, she's acting like someone just told her that they killed everyone she knows or something.

Why does she have to be so emotional? She's making this even harder. I have done this with so many girls before, broken it off with them but with Sia, it's so hard to do.

I walk up to her and hold each of her arms in my hand as I look into her eyes.

''Don't cry, I know it hurts now but this is better for both of us. We are two very different people and this needs to end now. Just move on with your life and forget about me and everything that has happened'' I tell her and before I know it I'm kissing her forehead.

"You really want me to forget about you after all we did together and how much you mean to me?" I hear her say but I don't say anything.

How much I mean to her? What does she mean by that? I didn't know she cares about me so much.

Why does she?

I walk away from her and head to the door leaving her crying but then she says something that makes me stop in my tracks as I reach the door.

''I love you'' She says so softly that I could barely hear her. I don't think I heard right, she did not just say that. Did she?

I feel all the air leave my body and I'm in total shock as I hear her say those three words I never thought I would hear in my life.

''What?'' I ask as I slowly turn around.

''I love you'' She says again.

''No, no, Sia you can't love me'' I tell her and she doesn't say anything.

''Sia I told you this is over so you can't love me''

''I know but-''

''But nothing it's over''

''I know but I can still love you even if it's over between us''

''No, because then you would expect me to love you back which will never happen and then you would keep coming around expecting me too''

''I don't expect that I know you will never love me back because you just used me''

''I didn't use you'' I tell her.

''I already told you that I don't date and you may like me in that way but I don't feel the same way and I never will'' I lie to her and we both just stare at each other, she looks so innocent, pure and sweet and she is and she deserves someone just like her and that's another reason why this has to end and she shouldn't ruin her life with me.

''Don't love me, erase that thought from your mind and forget that you even said that, save it for someone else who deserves it and your love. I have to go now but remember what I said, it's over'' I tell her and head for the door but her words stop me again.

''Aren't you gonna tell me goodbye?'' She asks. Is she serious? I just did.

''I already told you bye'' I tell her and head out without looking at her. If I look at her I would look into those soft sweet tear-filled eyes that look so destroyed and if I look into them I will feel worse.

''Son, since when did you get here?'' My annoying father asks.

''Since a while ago'' I tell him and head to the other room to get some clean clothes for Sia.

''Here'' I tell her as I give her the clothes.

''Thank you'' She says, her voice soft and timid.

''Can I ask you something?'' She asks and I nod.

''If you don't like me then why did you give me this necklace, take me to those places, spend time with me and make love to me?'' She asks and I have no idea how to respond. I should've just left before she asked the question.

''Because I don't know but don't hold that with you hoping that I would like you or something. I just did those things because I was bored those times and Brooke was busy'' I say and she tears start falling from her eyes uncontrollably and she looks shocked and horrified.

''No, no I didn't mean it like that. I did have amazing times with you and I do-'' I stop myself as I feel water forming in my eyes too.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just leave already?

''Sia this is the last time I'm saying it. Forget about me and leave me alone and I will do the same to you'' I tell her for the tenth time tonight and walk out the door.

''Whoever she is tonight she's really lucky'' She says and her voice cracks.

''What?''

''The one who's coming in your bed tonight'' She says and sniffles. I was going to say something but I don't if she thinks that then let her and maybe she's right someone maybe in my bed tonight and if she thinks that that'll make her stay away even more.

No one is going to be in my bed tonight, I don't want anyone but her. God, what the fuck did she do to me? I can't fucking believe I just said that.

In fact, the girls that I sleep with well before, we would just fuck in an empty bedroom at the cabin, I don't really take any of them to my house because I'm very private and I don't like anyone touching my things or being anywhere near them except Sia.

I walk down the stairs and I feel Sia running behind me.

''Wait, Hero, I have to tell you something'' She says as she steps in front of me and she's in her towel while everyone stares at us.

''Sia go back upstairs and change and sleep'' I tell her. What is wrong with her? Why is she chasing after me like that?

I just told her for the tenth time tonight that it's over and I don't want to see her again so why is she still chasing after me?

Why can't she just remain upstairs and leave me alone?

''But I wanna tell you something first'' She insists.

''No, Sia I have to go'' I tell her and walk past her.

''No, wait'' She calls and runs to the door.

I grab her arm and pull her upstairs back in the room and throw her on the bed a bit rough.

''Sia it's over leave me alone and I will leave you alone'' I tell her and she starts crying again.

I look away because I can't bear to look at her in this state.

''But I wanted to tell you something first'' She says.

''What!''

''That I love you''

What is wrong with her? she already told me this and I told her that I don't feel the same.

What the fuck is wrong with her? Does she expect me to say it back? She shouldn't be because I will never say it.

I grab her arm again and pull her to stand to her feet. I put both my hands on her shoulders and lower my head to her eye level.

''Sia we are over, that is it. I don't love you and you shouldn't love me. I am going to leave now and you will never hear from me again and do not come around me either. Whenever you have that stupid thought in your head that you love me think about all the times we've fought and all the terrible things I said to you and how I left you in the middle of a desert tonight. Think about that.''

As I remove my hands from her shoulders she immediately puts one hand on her shoulder rubbing the spot where mine was and I realize that the spot is red. I hadn't even realized that I was holding onto her shoulders so roughly but I guess I was. I put both hands on either side of her face and kiss her then make my way out the door. I rush through the storm into my car and just sit there for a while.

Why did she have to make it so hard? I have done this with lots of girls before but with Sia, it felt like I was ripping someone's heart out, that was the look on her face, she looked devastated. All the other girls who I've done with, I wasn't so attracted to them and I was tired of fucking the pussy over and over and most of the girls were annoying as fuck.

They would throw themselves at me but when I blanked them they would just beg another time then fuck off but not Sia. With Sia, I felt this hurt feeling I have never felt before and I was feeling empty inside. When I broke it off with her, she told me that she loved me.

Why would she say something as stupid as that?

She didn't even mean it, did she?

When I heard those words leave her mouth I was speechless and in shock but I tried to keep it cool. I know I hurt her many times but tonight I think I did the most. She's crushed right now and it's because of me. Whatever was going on between us needed to end and it had to be now but why do I feel this way?

I admit it hurt me to look into her tear-filled eyes, I felt like something inside me was crushed too.

Why am I feeling this way? I've never felt this way before.

She had a point, all those things I did with her I have never done with anyone. When we have sex we don't just have sex we make love to each other and I felt it.

Why would she love me? She should love someone who deserves her love, someone as amazing as she is but just picturing her with someone sends a rage through me.

She will not be with anyone but me!

I have never felt this way about anyone before, we are both so different but the differences are what allures us in more and I see it in her eyes how much she cares about me which was why breaking it off with her was so hard, it was harder for me than it was for her but I just didn't show it.

I can't do this, I can't leave her like that, I need her. I don't deserve her and I know that but too egocentric and I want her.

I rush back into the house and back up the stairs into the room Sia's in. I notice her still in her towel standing in front of the mirror by the sink just looking at herself as she cries and I feel water forming in my eyes as well, I hate seeing her this way.

I slowly walk up behind her and gently put both hands on her shoulders, her smooth skin is so soft under my callused hands then I wrap my arms around her chest from behind and look at us both in the mirror, she doesn't do anything, she just stays still while tears stream down her face and I can tell she has so much on her mind.

She looks completely annihilated right now and I'm the cause, it hurts me, even more, to see her like this.

''I love you more'' I whisper into her ear and kiss her on the cheek and she still doesn't do anything.

''Look at me'' I tell her and turn her to face me. She's so loose like an obliterated building that had just undergone a serious fire and would tumble over at the simplest touch.

''Don't cry'' I say and wipe the tears from her eyes.

''Sia, I know that I don't treat you like I love you but I do. I think I have for some time but I just never said it but the truth is I do and it hurts me so much to see you like this'' I tell her and bring her into my arms.

She moves in my arms like a lost animal in desperate need of love and care.

She rests her head on my chest and I gently stroke her head with my fingers.

''Did you sleep with that girl?'' She whispers.

''No baby I didn't, I didn't sleep with anyone else since I met you'' I admit and she nods against my chest.

"Were you going to?" She whispers.

"Never" I tell her the truth.

I take her hand in mine as I lead us to the bedroom.