The Journey Of Samkelisiwe Nzama

I was recommending to go to a church, which I won't mention the name. We were told that we might get some help there. We needed help so every door that was open, we entered. It was my first time going to that church. Well as for me and my mom, we prayed with them did everything they told us to do. The pain would become worse when the pastor would walk near me. They gave me water that was prayed for and all of the sudden the pain went through to my feet. I could not walk on my own all of the sudden. They had to find me a wheel chair. The pastor washed me feet and prayed for them but the pain became worse. It was me and my mom only, no friends. Let me remind you of the date 8 September 2019.

Again I was called by one of the prophet at the church. She also mentioned the very same thing about the book that was stolen. Yet again I felt like cracking! She told me to stay away from friends. She told me that there is people who want to see me involved in car accidents, she told me that there was a trouser of mine that was stolen and is being used to prevent me from having babies.Well as for me having babies was never in my head because I was only 17. My aim was to go study. See myself in varsity. Well it seemed like my enemy was one step ahead of me." STAY AWAY FROM THE TWINS" that's a story for another day.

She told me to bring my books so that she can pray for them. She told me if I don't pray she does not see me succeed through out the year. I went home and took everything that had to do with my matric. I took my matric jersey even. I was so desperate you have no idea.

As days went by I prayed everyday, I would sleep on the floor in the dinning room, because I didn't feel comfortable in my own bed anymore. I felt like there was something that would move my bed like a little baby cot. I dreamt of rainy nights with tombstones in my yard and sleeping on the ground . I would get cat scratches every night and only realise them in the morning. Some of them bleeded even. My life was a mess. I stood up and went to write. I couldn't give up! I had to finish my last straw.

I got a car accident after my Science paper. It was a Monday I was walking alone to the rank to catch a taxi home. As I said no friends, it was me alone. The taxi was almost full, so I had to take a sit at the back seat. There was a guy I sat next to. He asked my why wouldn't I sit infront next to the old gogo who wouldn't be able to count money on her own. My guts told me not to go.He than made a joke about it. He said am in matric but I can't count money.

I ignored him, took off me hear phones and listened to "Baam Baam" by Nasty C. 1 km away from the rank all of the sudden a big truck came and hit the front door were the old gogo was sitting. An ambulance was called people got injured, everything happend so fast. I got a break down. It was a Monday and Wednesday I had to write my Afrikaans paper. I was lucky that I had a free on Tuesday.

I blamed myself for the accident because I knew I had a black cloud following me but I still....

I couldn't take the pain no more. I wanted to die. My tiny body couldn't take in the pain no more. I was a living demo. I wanted nothing to do with books nothing at all. I got some pills from the hospital than I went off to sleep.

I went to school on Wednesday and pretended like nothing happened. I could not show my enemy that whatever they doing was working. To be honest I spent 40 percent of my matric time crying, 40 percent in pain, 10 percent praying and the other 10 studying.

To be continued....