The Journey Of Samkelisiwe Nzama

The only way I could express myself was different. Fools would hide it in their eyes, while the brilliant would hide it in their smile.

It was okey for me to cry, it was okey for me to slide down on the wall when its two am screaming. It was okey for me to burry my head in a book and let tears stream down my face.

It was okey for me pray so that I can get rid of the journey, it was okey for me to text my mother a huge paragraph while I was crying, it was okey to burry myself under the pillow.

BUT it was not okey for me to suppress my emotions so much that one day I just crack, crack so much that I kill myself. I could wipe the blood in my eyes but not the pain that my heart blew out. I never allowed self-reaction to create self-doubt. For me to grow apart I did not change the fact that I long grew in the journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama side by side. My roots will always be tangled by this journey.

My name is Samkelisiwe Nzama and I live in a place that is not as safe as yours or rather pretty as yours. Where I live, I shared the same oxygen with human demons. I prayed, but this place had born and breed The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama. People I breath the same oxygen with were walking demons.

Am only seven teen years old and I have seen trouble and pain with sorrow in hold, to last me for a life time. My dad let's just say he works at a local school. My mom works at a nearby firm in town. Where I live you dare not to shine, you dare not to live your happier life, because the demons are just next door. I do not leave the house.

Because now I do not live the house, am even more afraid, am afraid they might come to get me and that I would die. But at least am alive. Even though I did not get one minute to rest.

All this was not a life of a seven teen-year-old. I wish I could live a normal life, but I guess that will never happen not under the sky. In the meantime, I just need to make it through The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama.

Now I sit here alone and am scared. But the dark cloud will finally disappear and I will walk towards reality in the soft light of dusk.

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born. I sanctified you, I ordained you a prophet to the nations". 

My daily prayer I would say every day after school, after the pain that would stop my heart after trying, the blood that would bleed through my largest organ "There is someone who is very interested in you Samkelisiwe Nzama. This person knew you before you were born and planned for you to have an excellent life before you came to the earth. This person made provision for everything you would ever need to live a glorious and fulfilling life."

Do you know who this is? This person is your heavenly father Samkelisiwe Nzama, the father who would help you through the journey.

He is so particular about you Samkelisiwe Nzama and knows even a littlest detail about you. No wonder the Bible say the very hairs on your head are numbered dear Samkelisiwe Nzama.

This is why you should be bold and unafraid. Angles careful watches over you because they take special interest over you."