Chapter 21

"The ministry gave me permission to graduate without actually completing my NEWTS," Harry argued.

"But wouldn't it feel much more satisfying to graduate with scores you actually earned?"

Harry and Ron looked at one another and immediately fell into a fit of laughter.

It felt the way it used to, when life felt a bit lighter... if only for a moment.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine. Do as you wish."

"He defeated Voldemort, Hermione. He will not be wanting for career offers, even without taking the NEWTs."

"Thanks, Ron." Harry nudged Ron with his shoulder playfully.

"Not to sound like Hermione, but, erm, what are your plans after school?"

Harry's smile disappeared. "I used to want to be an auror."

"But you're tired of the fighting," Hermione surmised.

"Yeah."

The three stayed quiet for a long moment. Harry looked around the boys' dormitory. This would be one of the last nights he'd spend here. The true beginning of adulthood.

"For the past year, I hadn't exactly planned to live this long."

"If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" Hermione asked, practically, and not whimsically.

"Back to the safehouse."

"What?" Ron looked at Harry as if he were mad.

Harry leaned back against his pillows. "I felt safe there. I was happy. There were no expectations, no stress. Just Severus."

"I don't know what to tell ya, mate. Snape isn't a career choice."

Harry laughed and shoved Ron. It did, however, give Harry an idea.

"Actually, I think I'd like to open my own shop."

Hermione's eyes lit up. "What type?"

Harry blushed. "Maybe a bookstore. I've grown rather fond of reading." At the look on Hermione's face, he hastily added, "Leisurely reading. Not research. But I suppose I could sell both types of books."

"You do have the money to open a storefront. I don't think it's a terrible idea."

Harry grinned. "I'll think about it."

Ron laid his hand over Hermione's and smiled at her.

Although they hadn't explicitly told him of their budding romance, they didn't hide it either. Harry was happy for them. He really was. But it made him feel a twinge of jealousy. He missed Severus.

He hadn't seen him since the first moment he'd opened his eyes in the infirmary.

For Harry, the love he felt hadn't dissipated at all since the fulfillment of the prophecy, but apparently it had for Severus. It all felt so real to Harry, that he'd not bothered to question or doubt it.

He didn't know how to return to the way things had been before Severus. He knew what Severus's skin felt like. He knew what he looked like right before bed, and first thing in the morning. He knew how he took his tea. That he detested coriander. He liked mystery novels. He knotted his fingers in the back of Harry's robes when they embraced.

Would he ever be able to lay his eyes on Severus again and not think of those things?

Could he think of him and not think of straddling the man on his settee and kissing his soft lips?

Harry had heard the other students talking, of course. Particularly the younger students spoke in grateful awe that Professor Snape had changed since the fall of Voldemort. He wasn't especially nice, but he wasn't the evil bat of the dungeons any longer. He spoke to his students like actual humans. He was more patient and less critical.

Harry was a bit jealous that the rest of the world was beginning to see the true Severus. He enjoyed having that bit of the man hidden away for just himself, but Harry knew it was selfish to feel that way. He decided to be happy for him instead.

"When are you going to take that bracelet off?" Ron asked, stirring Harry from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You've been staring into space turning it around your wrist for a while now."

"Oh. Er, I don't know. I don't really want to take it off."

It was the last thing he had of Severus.

After lunch the following day, the corridors were mostly empty. Most of the remaining students were in their dormitories packing away their belongings in preparation of returning home for summer holidays.

Harry and his friends decided to use the time before afternoon classes to follow suit and begin packing as well. Harry hadn't quite decided where he was going to go after the school year ended, but likely Grimmauld Place.

Harry gathered his things that were strewn over his bed or side table. A scarf here, a book and notebook there.

He opened his trunk for the first time in days, to find the letters he'd written were returned to him. Harry sorted through the stack, debating on if he should dispose of them. But his internal debate was disrupted when he realized Severus had kept his own. Harry leaned back on his heels and smiled to himself.

Severus wasn't sentimental. He must still mean something to the man, for him to keep his letter.

Harry stepped into the potions classroom behind Hermione. In all likelihood, it would be the last time he would ever see this room.

As the few students took their places, Severus stood at the front of the class. Harry stared at his love's feet, unable to meet the man's eyes.

"We won't be brewing today. I will admit, I believe it is a waste of time. There is nothing more I can teach you. Tomorrow you will be sitting your NEWTs and then your lives beyond Hogwarts will begin. If you wish to leave, and work on your packing, or studying, you may. Today, I'd like to offer you my advice, as rising members of our world."

Harry finally looked up in shock. What? Severus changed, indeed.

Significantly.

Severus spoke at length about choosing a career, about the importance of seeing the world, about separating one's self from tradition and familial obligation. He spoke about being happy.

Hermione, of course, took notes, while the others listened intently.

"Who you choose as a partner," Severus continued, "There is more to think about than physical attraction, or social status. Be sure that you desire the same things in life. Being complementary to one another, I believe, is preferable. Each of you have done well in school, you are intelligent. You are driven. I trust you to take the advice I've offered you today and run with it. I trust you all to go far in life... and make me proud."

For the first time since the class period had begun, Severus met Harry's gaze.

Harry offered him a small smile, but he looked away.

"Good luck on your NEWTs tomorrow."

Severus turned and shuffled around some papers on his desk. As he did so, Harry caught a flash of Severus's own bracelet, not under a concealment charm. Harry's heart skipped a beat. A lump formed in his throat.

Severus wore his bracelet, he kept his letter. But his behaviour indicated he harboured love for him no longer.

"Are you coming, Harry?" The concern in Hermione's eyes showed she understood the pain Harry was feeling in that moment.

Harry nodded and followed her from the room.

Draco awaited them in the corridor.

He offered Harry his hand, and Harry took it.

Out of habit? In search of comfort?

"I decided to pack all day. I didn't see much purpose in attending class," Draco explained.

"I noticed."

"Are you upset with me?"

"Hm? Oh, er, no. Not at all."

"I was thinking of sneaking into Gryffindor tonight. Spend some time with you lot for the evening."

"It's not like they can expel you," Harry said lamely.

Draco chuckled. "My thoughts exactly. Maybe I'll turn you to a Slytherin yet."

Severus didn't attend the leaving feast. Dumbledore spoke at length. He mentioned Harry and his friends, and their valiant efforts against Voldemort. The students clapped and cheered, but Harry didn't pay much attention.

He felt dissociative, as if he wasn't truly part of the festivities happening around him.

Draco leaned against Harry's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Let's go, love."

The group of friends walked together to Gryffindor tower. One last night to be together as students, with no obligations or responsibilities.

The boys dormitory was loud already. Belongings being thrown into trunks, the boys (and a few girls) laughing and playing. Seamus and Dean passed a bottle of vodka between them while Neville leaned against his pillows and laughed heartily.

Soon, the reverie died down. All that was left was the sound of snores, the flickering of candles, and a few close friends gathered on Harry's bed chattering away about the future, with a bottle of spirits being passed around. Even Hermione took a drink or two.

"I'm going to apprentice with Professor Sprout. I might live on the grounds at first, but I think I'd like to have a little place of my own in Hogsmeade, somewhere Gran can visit when she likes."

"You and Harry could be neighbours, then." Harry nudged Ron. He didn't want to talk about his career plans at the moment.

"Oh yeah? You'll be living in Hogsmeade, Harry?"

He took a long drink, and hissed at the burning sensation on his tongue and cheeks.

"I was thinking of opening a shop."

"Me, too!" Seamus declared. "A broom shop. After I'm done playing professionally, of course." He smiled wide, still quite chuffed at having been offered a position on a pro team.

Harry felt eyes on him and turned towards Draco. Draco stared at him with his Slytherin intensity. He hadn't told him of his plans, so he was likely feeling irritated at having learned this way.

"I have an idea," Draco said conspiratorially, still looking at Harry. "Why don't we play a game of dares?"

"Nothing too crazy!" Hermione insisted.

"Of course not," Draco assured her. "We will keep it in the room."

Hermione visibly relaxed. "Okay," she agreed. The others in the circle leaned forward in excitement, some of them swaying a bit in drunkenness.

"I dare you, Neville, to kiss Ginny."

Neville blushed, Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Oy, that's my sister!"

Ginny leaned forward towards Neville. He threw a quick glance to his friends, closed his eyes, and placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

Ron huffed.

"Great show!" Dean slurred.

"Your turn, Nev," Seamus said.

Neville looked around nervously.

"Harry, I er, it is... I've wondered- I, er, dare you to tell us if anything r-really happened with Professor Snape."

Draco groaned.

"Not really. Not much."

"It has to be a real answer, Harry!" Dean chided.

"I kissed him," Harry admitted.

A few of them gasped or chuckled.

"You never told me that." Draco glared.

Harry shrugged. "I only ever told Remus and Sirius."

"So you don't trust me."

"Of course I do!"

"Can we end this lovers spat here and continue with the game?" Ginny complained.

"We aren't lovers," Harry said simply.

"We aren't?" Draco stood angrily, but his foot caught in Harry's sheets and he stumbled backwards. A few in the group laughed. Draco stood, his face visibly red with anger, even in the dim candlelight.

"No, not really, I- I never," Harry stammered, lost for words. "I didn't think-"

"No. No, you never think, do you?"

Draco stormed out of the dormitory. His boots stomped down the stairs. The group remained quiet until Draco's steps were no longer audible.

"Better go after him, mate." Ron frowned.

"Yeah, Harry," Hermione agreed. "I know you're heartbroken, but Draco is, too. Just be clear and honest about what you want and how you feel."

The others looked at one another in confusion.

Harry pulled out his map to see where Draco was headed.

By the time Harry caught up to him, he was in the courtyard, still marching an angry path towards the grounds. The moon was full and bright. Owls and bats called out into the warm night.

Draco swiped his fingers through his platinum hair and turned to face Harry.

"Tell me. Now, Harry. Tell me what you want. I can't bloody read you."

"Severus-"

"Doesn't want you!" Draco screamed. He took a deep breath and continued more calmly. "He doesn't want you, does he? Has he even spoken to you since you woke up? Who's here for you now, Harry?" Draco threw his arms out wide and looked around sarcastically. "I don't see Severus, do you?"

Harry wiped at his eyes. "He loves me!" Harry protested. "He just... can't always show it."

"Can't or won't? I show you love. I hold your hand. I proudly let others know what I feel for you."

"Only because Professor McGonagall suggested it to... to save Severus's reputation."

"That's not what it was for me." Draco stepped closer. "I'm opportunistic. I thought it would let you see that I'm better for you than he is."

"In the beginning, you insisted that he was a good man."

"As an ally, yes. I never thought you'd fall in love with him."

"But, I did."

"Tell me you feel nothing for me." Draco stepped forward again, closing the gap between them. He raised his hands to cup Harry's face and searched Harry's eyes. "Tell me I mean nothing to you."

"I can't say that."

Draco leaned forward and pressed his lips to Harry's.

Harry tried to pull away, but Draco held him in place. His lips moved against Harry's. Harry wanted to protest, insist he belonged to Severus. But maybe his friend was right. Severus had come to his rescue once upon a time, but anything that had been between them then no longer existed. He felt alone. He felt lost. And here he was, wrapped in the arms of a man that he was allowed to love. He didn't love him in that way, but maybe he could learn to.

Harry gave in. He allowed his lips to part.

He melted into Draco. It was pleasant to feel desired.

His bracelet burned against his skin, but Harry ignored it.

Severus didn't want him.

He grasped the back of Draco's neck and deepened the kiss.