Anticipation

"My mother agreed!!" she said, screaming on the phone. She called Jess as soon as she entered her bedroom. She can't believe that her aunt would help her to be in Shanghai, even when she doesn't know the real motive of her sudden need to go there. Right now, she is just as high as Tokyo Tower with anticipation in seeing the boy with orange hair, though, in the photo from Ellise Moments, which she already saved on her phone, the guy isn't sporting the weird orange hairdo anymore. Of course, she isn't expecting him to have the same hairstyle two years ago. But boy, isn't he way more handsome now with his black hair, a buzz undercut, and it seems like he is still fond of wearing a headset around his neck.

"I mean, what are the chances, right? Right!?" she's so hyper even when Jess is now just answering her with feigning interest based on her obligatory answers. She doesn't care. It feels like her heart is going to burst out of her chest!

"And look, his earrings make him look such a bad boy, but with that goofy smile on his face, it just makes him totally adorable. I can't wait to see him in person, and know his name!"

"I've been meaning to ask you that, why don't you just ask Ellise for his name?"

"I want to know his name in person when I introduce myself to him," she said with a giggle.

"You're such a weirdo! You and Ellise!" Jess yelled in front of her phone screen. "How can the two of you both run after guys in another country, particularly China. Are Chinese guys really that hot and good looking?"

"Well, we didn't know he was Chinese when we saw him at Meiji Shrine," Dana answered.

"I don't think he's that handsome though," she said unimpressed.

"Ya!" she screams, looking at her bedroom door because she heard a knock.

"Can I enter?" she heard her aunt's voice.

"Gotta go!" she said, and hurriedly dropped the call.

"Enter."

The door opens and her aunt enters with a fruit platter on her hands.

"Your mother cut some fruits. Where can I put it?" she asked, looking around her room, and her eyes were drawn to the wall full of pencils sketches. "Those are new?"

"Most of them," she answered. "You can just put it there on the chabudai.", pointing to the short-legged low table on the foot of her bed, surrounded with throw pillows, on top of tatami mats.

"Did my mother tell you to talk to me?" she asked as she positioned herself on one of the cushions.

"Not really. More on asking me to spy on you."

"You're not a very good spy then, why would you tell the other person with your plan?" she wrinkled her nose as she picked up a slice of mango from the plate.

"Am I?", her aunt taunting. "I could be intentionally telling you my objective so you'll drop your defense, gain your trust, and tell me everything I need to know without pulling them out of you."

"Are you?" she asked. Watching carefully the other woman's expression.

"No. But your mother really asked me to spy on you."

She continued eating, unresponsive.

"Care to tell me why?" she asked.

"Why? You already get the story." Dana answered.

"I want to hear your side. I'm only meddling on this because you sent me an SOS at one in the morning. I don't think you did that because you want to have a vacation or celebrate birthdays." a knowing look is written on her aunt's face.

"I didn't tell your mother why I came here for breakfast when I don't eat breakfast, and my husband prepares his own food. If you want me to help you with whatever it is, I need to know that truth so I can save myself from destruction once your mother found it out."

Dana munching on apples this time, think back on her master plan for the - I Want Chinese Mandarin plan. She fixed her eyes on the pattern of tatami mats under the table to dodge her aunt's pair of ever knowing eyes.

From experience, the most effective way to avoid telling a lie is to tell the truth; a different truth far from the one being questioned.

"I don't want to study music." she blurted out.

"Dana.", her aunt looked at her, disapproving.

The second effective way of avoiding the truth is to get angry.

"Why do I have to study music? I've learned the piano because she wants me to, and I played it because I enjoyed it, and that's it! I don't see myself doing music as a way of earning money. Why is she pushing me to do things she likes? How about what I like?"

"How about those?" pointing to the sketches on the wall. "Are they something you like, and you imagine yourself doing as a career?"

The worst way to bury yourself in your half truth is to cry.

"I want to be a Manga artist!" she cried.

She hugs her knees and buries her face in them to shield her eyes that weren't able to produce enough tears to get sympathy.

Her aunt stayed silent.

In silence, she can hear her heart thumping wildly on her chest, but she didn't dare to look up, and just kept praying in her head, please don't ask any more questions.

"Does your mother know about it?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. She was the one who got the call when the publishing company called to inform me that my one-shot manga won the amateur artist award, and took the first place."

"Why do you have to give your house number?" she said.

Dana looked at her incredulously.

"You should have given your mobile number, that's how it works if you're going to hide things from your parents!" she said like she's the most stupid person in the planet.

"I did give my mobile number, but they required a home number. How would I know that they will choose to call the landline than my mobile ." exasperated she said.

"Ever since it happened, mother has added more hours on my piano classes, not including the practices I have to do at home under her supervision. She keeps on saying that she will tell father if I slack off from practice." tears welled up in her eyes in frustration.

"Do you really want to be a Manga artist?" she asked carefully.

"I don't even know if I really wanted to be a Manga artist," she whines. "Or a pianist! Those are just things I can do well, but I'm not sure if it's really what I want to do. I just enjoyed doing them. But mother doesn't understand, or she just refuses to listen!" she sobbed.

"You only have a few months left before graduation. Whether you decide on your own or do what your mother wants, it's all up to you. But not choosing anything isn't part of the option."

"Can I just take a break?"

"For what? Do you think if you do gap a year you will know what you want in your life?" a slight annoyance can be heard in her voice. "Taking a year off to know yourself, to be sure of something, or whatever is nothing but BS."

She just sat there, rooted in tatami mats listening and going along with the nagging.

"Listen Dana, no one actually likes school. The thing with life is that no one really knows what they really want until they encounter it. That is why if you'll ask me, I would tell you to pick something now, and just find out along the way whatever it is that makes you want to go through in this life,.. happy enough to endure its hardship."

"Do Manga, do piano, or anything but you must do, because if you stop you will just find, what.., five or ten years from now regretting not doing whatever when you still have the time in your hand to drop something and start anew."

"Somewhere in life you will realize that doing those mundane tasks, is the only way you'll find something or someone worth fighting against your mother, but right now is not the time."

"But what if mother still won't allow it."

"Stop thinking of someone giving you permission, before you actually do something. Is there anything in your life that you want, that you know in yourself that you won't need anybody's consent to do it?"

Flashes of a boy with orange hair come to mind, as she meets her aunt's eyes.

"I'll love you the same through whatever," she said tenderly when their eyes locked with each other.

Her eyes glisten with tears as warm feeling enveloped her in those emotional words, however before she could respond, her aunt stood up from the tatami mats and said, "Pack your bag and pack lightly this time, please. Our flight will be next Wednesday."

Upon hearing the flight schedule, she forgot all the nagging and bounced from the floor to pick clothes to bring.

"And Dana", her aunt said standing on the doorway, "just to be clear, it is because this is your last summer as a high school student, and I want you to make good memories, that's the only reason why I'm going through with you in all of this."

Dana in confusion wrinkled her forehead.

"I trust you.", is what she heard last before her bedroom door shut.