Chapter 17 - Deathly Waters

(Maria POV)

I could feel my body slowly drifting away to a place I never wanted to return. The place in the back of my mind that sent chills down my spine, but the feeling of sleep made this trip worth it.

I could hear the voices from that day. His voice, my voice, the wind blowing through my hair, and my toes wiggling in the beautiful green grass. I could feel all the feelings from that day, the excitement that turned to rejection as soon as I decided to open my mouth.

***

"What's wrong? You've been silent ever since we came up here." Damian turned his head towards me as I stared out into the sky.

"You can talk to me you know, you helped me out of a very hard time in my life. I'm here to do the same for you."

He scooted closer to me and placed his hand on top of mine, "I'm your friend and friends are there for each other."

I felt like my body was floating away, it was like I was high on a drug and I didn't want to come down from it. No pain, no heartache, no anxiety attacks, no trying to impress Damian. It was just peace, a place of peace. The deeper I got the higher my body floated and the higher my urge was to stay and never come back.

I turned my head towards him and saw the beautiful smile he gave me. The smile gave me the extra motivation I needed to make my friend more than that. Sometimes I wish I would've just kept looking straight and never turned my head, maybe the pain wouldn't hurt so bad.

I smiled back, "I like you Damian and I don't think I could ever stop." I stared at him with hope, the hope that the feelings I had for him were the same that he had for me.

I was slowly drifting away.

"I know Maria, I like you too. We will always be friends, you know that." he rubbed his thumb along my hand and smiled at me again.

"No, I like you, like you, I don't want to be friends anymore. I want more than that with you." I shook my head and watched his facial expression change to something unrecognizable and unreadable.

"I...Maria...I don-" I pulled my hand away from his and held it up silencing him.

"That was the answer I was afraid of hearing, but I already prepared for it. Just never thought I'd hear it from you this soon." I shook my head as I laughed a strained laugh and turned back around to look at the sky.

***

What was once peace now felt like hell? I was crashing down from my high fast and hard. What once felt like clean oxygen was now fire that burned through my lungs. It felt like I was gasping for air like I couldn't breathe.

I felt like gravity was pushing harder and harder on my chest and I couldn't fight it. I was drowning, drowning in my own thoughts.

"MARIA!" I heard someone scream but I was too far gone it was just too late.

"Breathe, Damn you !" I tried to do what the voice told me but it was too late I was too far gone. I released my body and accepted the pain, I opened my mind and let the darkness take over.

***

My lungs felt like they were burning, screaming, reaching for a sensation to ease this burning one. My throat felt like it was closing with every minute that went by. I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried and it was bothering me.

I don't know what happened, I tried to move my eyes but they wouldn't budge. I laid there for a little longer, my lungs started to feel better and my eyes started to flutter.

I found some hidden strength I didn't think I had and pushed myself up. I studied my surroundings and saw that I was on the bed with a nightdress on. I looked to the right corner near my bed and saw David with his head down and his knees in his chest.

I cleared my throat, "David" I whispered, the tightness was starting to come back and the burning from my lungs was starting to make its way up into my throat.

I saw him shift his body and then look up at me, "You scared me you know."

He ran his right hand through his hair and shook his head. "I thought you were dead, thank God I came here just in time."

He looked down and laughed a strenuous laugh, "-- just in time". David looked up at me and shook his head as if he was waiting for a reply.

"Say something, dammit! -- anything, just say something." He pleaded with his eyes, even though he spoke them with words.

I grabbed my throat and stared at him, "I'm sorry David, I was just taking a bath and I guess I fell asleep." I crawled to the right side of the bed closest to him and crossed my legs,

"I just remember thinking about Damian, It was an old memory of us. a very old memory.The memory when I told him how I truly felt." I grabbed my heart and looked down, remembering the pain which overtook my joy when he turned me down.

I heard shuffling but I was too out of it to look up. Only when I felt two medium-sized hands grab my shoulders is when I looked up.

"Get it out of your head Maria, He does not want you. How can you be so stupid." He jerked his hands off of my shoulders and started pacing the room,

"Damn you girl and damn him too. He only has eyes for Angeline, can't you see this." He lifted his hands and waved them as he paced back and forth.

I didn't know what to say or how to say what I didn't know. I just watched as I held my hand over my chest, he was right, he was absolutely right.

"We're doing this, all this, for him -- for her!" He shook his head and laughed.

"All this for Angeline, all this for a girl that's not even here. She has all of this power over him and yet you still try to find some kind of way to get to him."

He stopped pacing back and forth and walked over to the bed, kneeling in front of me.

"You're are a diamond in the rough and you can not keep letting Damian have this type of control over you. Even the thought of him almost killed you, Maria, Just the thought"

He pushed himself up and walked over to the door.

"Get it together, you can't keep doing this for a guy who won't do it for you." With that he took one last look at me and walked out of my room, closing the door softly behind him.

I sat in the same spot staring at the door David just walked out of. I needed to hear that I really did but I never thought someone else would say it. I just never thought that someone would say it, and for the first time in a long time, I was able to think without Damian on my mind.

I pushed myself off of my wet bed and pulled all of the sheets off. Tears ran down my face as I threw them all over my room, my head was spinning and everything I held in came crashing down. The reality that Damian didn't really love me has truly opened my eyes and hurt me all at the same time.

I punched the wall and slid down on the floor. My knees met my chest as I cried. I almost drowned in a damn tub because I couldn't stop thinking about Damian. I laid my head on my knees and cried, all I could do was cry. I'm in love with a guy who will never and has never loved me back and for some reason, I couldn't accept it.

I just couldn't..