Amy's Relapse

Quinn, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't be strong, I'm sorry I'm a bad girlfriend. I'm sorry I left you but I can't do it anymore, I can't keep going I'm sorry. My depression is getting worse, the meds aren't working any more. My head is a mess, the voice too loud and it keeps replaying everything that's happened. The abuse with my mom, every word, every hit and kick. What happened with Greg...the feeling of his lips on mine even if it was just for a second it felt so wrong. I'm sorry I'm not stronger but I think my head has won this everlasting fight...I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Don't be sad for too long you deserve to be happy you deserve someone better than the broken girl I am. Never forget that I love you, tell Emily I'm going to miss her. Tell the others I'll miss them too. I'll see you someday my love. I'm sorry.

~Amy Baker.

I set it on the counter, grabbed the blade and slit my wrist over and over my arms turning red. I let out a small broken sob and reached for the pill bottle. I twisted the cap off when it was taken from my hand. I looked up with wide eyes meeting Quinn's teary ones.

"Amy what are you doing!?"

My hand covered my mouth as I reached a hand out trying to grab the bottle back.

"Quinn give me the bottle."

"No," His gaze moved to the note on the counter, "You're trying to kill yourself...aren't you?"

I didn't say anything as blood dripped down my arms and either on my shirt or on the tiled floor.

"Aren't you!"

"Yes! Ok yes I am trying to kill myself again! I'm sorry but I can't keep going Quinn! It hurts, everything hurts and I can't keep going!"

He had tears streaming down his face at this point. He gently grabbed my hand using his other one to take out his phone. He clicked on something and brought it up to his ear.

"I need you to come to Amy's apartment now it's an emergency."

He sighed, making me sit on the couch.

"Amy tried to kill herself…"

He took the phone away from his head and clicked hanging up.

"Can I trust you to be alone for one minute while I go get the first aid kit?"

I shrugged barely listening to what he was saying. He sat next to me taking my hands in his, examining my still slightly bleeding wrist.

'You couldn't even do that before he got home could you? You should've downed the bottle then done your wrist; it would've worked then. Oh well you'll just have to wait till next time then. And that time will work.'

I felt tears run down my face but I felt numb and dead inside.

'Why? Why did you have to come back so soon? You couldn't have been gone for another ten minutes?'

The front door opened and slammed shut snapping me out of my thoughts. I heard a gasp and looked up at Emily. She kneeled in front of me taking out the all too familiar white wrappings. She handed some to Quinn, him doing my left hand while Emily did my right.

"Amy what were you thinking? We almost just lost you...again…���

I shrugged looking out the window getting lost in the hurricane of thoughts going through my head. I felt a weight where Quinn was and looked to my left to see he now had the note I had written for when they found my dead body.

"Amy...why didn't you say something? Or at least come to me or Emily? You-you relapsed so bad and we didn't know…"

I shrugged not wanting to speak. He pulled me on his lap, my head in his chest as he ran a hand up and down my back.

"We're here for you Amy, you can tell us when something like this happens. I love you sugar, I want to help you."

That caused the flood gates to open and a broken sob racked my body as I tightly gripped his shirt.

"I-I'm sorry I-I-" I was cut off by another sob, "I don't w-want to die rea-really it just h-hurts and i-it won't go a-aw-away...I'm s-sorry Q-Quinn. I-I'm sorry Emily...I do-don't think I ca-can make it mu-much lon-ger."

His grip on me tightened and I could hear the sadness and brokenness in his voice.

"Don't say that love...you can do it, we will help you through this. I promise I'm going to help you get better."

I felt a kiss being pressed to my head and his chin on my head as he held me. I sat there crying till I passed out from exhaustion.

Quinn's Pov

I sat on the couch slowly rocking back and forth while Amy cried holding her close to my chest. Emily sat opposite of us wiping the tears away from her face.

"You can go get Jake Em…"

She nodded heading to his room and pulled him out to the couch. He was confused but sat down with her on his lap, wiping the tears and running a hand through her hair.

"What happened mi amor?"

She looked over at me and I nodded, "You can tell him."

"Amy tried to kill herself again…"

"Oh guys I'm sorry…"

He hugged her tight and I noticed Amy's breathing evened out. I pulled back a little a small smile crossing my face. I took her fogged glasses off her face, wiped the tear tracks away and moved her so she was sitting on my lap sideways. Head half on my arm half on the couch.

"Is she sleeping?"

"Yeah must have passed out from exhaustion."

Jake sat there lost in his thoughts still running a hand through Em's hair.

"Can...can I read the note?"

I nodded handing him the piece of paper that had tear stains on it. He read it, tears springing in his eyes. He set the paper down on the coffee table looking up over at us.

"Oh Amy...is she going to be ok?"

"I'm going to help her. It's my job to help people and she's my best friend, I'm going to help her through this. I did it once, I'll do it again."

He nodded and used his free hand to brush the few tears that had fallen away. I hugged my girlfriend close to my chest as she slept.

"I'm sorry Amy...I should have seen the signs sonner...I love you sugar."

I wiped at my eyes not wanting to cry in front of Jake.