A Prediction

"He is just around the corner" the fortune-teller seems confident with her prediction. Looking at her cards, I try to search for clues as to how she came to her prediction. The busybody in me can't wait to play fortune-telling. Hey, I am a gifted child too. I try to feel her psychic power but all I felt was my own heart pounding fast and furious. How come visiting the dentist wasn't as scary as this one?

"Oh! Which corner?" Fish suddenly full of alert pressing for more.

"He is just around the corner…" the tarot card lady repeated her prediction with a slight irritation in her tone, thinking Fish may have not heard her well. I wonder if the cards also foretell Fish's blurriness – a card that has a picture of a fish looking blur. I look around the spread of cards and found none. So, Fish is safe from any embarrassment. Anyway, she wouldn't admit it if she ever comes face-to-face with 'BLUR'.

"No Fish, it means you will meet your future boyfriend soon" I nudge her for some understanding.

The card lady smiles at me and she seems quite taken with my cleverness. Maybe she will ask me to be her apprentice later before we leave. I can't wait. I thought Fish is very much in love with her boyfriend and no one and absolutely nothing can make her leave him for good. I was shocked when she asked me if I can accompany her to consult a tarot reading for a second opinion (it felt like going to the gynae) about her relationship.

"Huh? I thought you are so very much in love with that asshole" it got to be her blur virus because my turn to be in a blur state.

"Yes, I am still in love with him" there she goes again with that dreamy look whenever she starts 'I-love-him'.

"So?" she better gives me a good explanation.

"Venus, I need a back-up plan!" Fish's new idea of love. I am impressed – for the first time.

I got a feeling I need to help her to ask questions or maybe answer some too. I definitely didn't see any cute looking guy walking around the corner of a street picture in the spread. Oh, I forgot something – they are usually not so straightforward. You must be intuitive to be able to do this. Ok, I better allow my intuition to kick-in for some lessons.

"Exactly when she is going to meet him?" I need to ask the right questions for Fish before we give up our seats to the next customer.

"Next month" the card lady concentrates hard on the spread while answering me.

"Oooooooh" Fish's alertness goes up one notch and I have a feeling that she now imagines jumping from one Cloud 9 to another. I am so jealous.

Ahah! I knew it! There is a card at the far right bottom with a picture of a girl and guy holding hands. That must be Fish and her new boyfriend. Wow. This is getting real and fun! The card lady smiles at me again when she saw how my face lit up with my discovery. I don't think she knows what has been playing in my mind and probably thinks I was happy for Fish.

"Is he good looking?" Fish and her forever good looks and I sigh silently on the stupid question.

"I think she wanted to ask if he is a nice guy" I quickly change her question to a practical one.

"Yes, a lot better than the current boyfriend" the card lady looks satisfied with what she sees on the spread. Hmm...I bet the word 'BETTER' must be invisibly flying past her eyes.

I can't help smiling happily. Finally, my friend is getting there. Again, it is still up to Fish if she wishes to jump to another Cloud 9 since her current one is cloudy. "You are unlucky once or twice or ok, maybe three times or more – it doesn't mean you are unlucky forever" – I once said this to Fish and my words are ringing some truth after all. I am GOD sent.

"Anything else you want to ask" the card lady looks at Fish expectantly.

Fish turns to me with a question mark on her face and I give her a full-stop look.

"I would like to draw a card if you don't mind" my heart starts pounding hard and furious again.

The card lady nods her head giving me the green light and I nearly screamed in delight. My palms are sweaty in nervousness for an answer. She shuffles expertly and when she asks me to cut the cards – my hand was shaking with anticipation. She then shuffles the card one more time before she asks me to pick one. I sure hope I am guided in this and I drew a card from the middle.

"What is your question?" the card lady asks though I got a feeling she knows what it is.

"Is she going to meet him next month too?" Fish's helpful help.

"He is already in your life" the card lady gives me the same smile again.

"Do I know him?" I really must know.

"Yes" the card lady nods hard.

Yes? Who? Suddenly, the guys and men that I know all lined up in a straight line in my mind for identification: Eugene (he is gay – no), Patrick (also gay – also no), Alex (another gay – another no), Roger (a friend happily married with kids – hands off!), Muthu (the ice kacang seller – everyday free ice kacang), Ah Meng (the breadman – I'll have a bread face soon), Uncle Don (a man in his sixties – his best friend might be Viagra) and this is not good enough. I need a definite answer.

"Does he know I exist?" I quickly shake off all the guys and men in my mind.

"Are you going to pay for a full consultation?" the card lady gives me her sweetest smile.

"No" the cheapo me.

"Ok - NEXT!" the card lady calling out loud to her next customer outside her room.

Ever since my cupid brought Eugene into my life, I've learned to rely on Eugene – he is now officially the walking cupid (too bad, he hasn't got wings) assigned to assist me in finding a man. Rather than imagining the hit-and-miss probability, Eugene is there to guide me and make me see things that I've never been able to do before. Maybe he is my cupid after all and has been transformed into the mortal world to serve me better. He he.

"Venus, you have to bat your lashes when you come close facing the guy" Eugene always suggests 'alien' ideas.

"Wouldn't the guy think I am trying to seduce him?" I have to admit that his 'alien' ideas really make me feel uncomfortable and I wish guys would just fall for my smile than what, flutter-my-eyelashes or sway-my-hips seductively body language. Why can't seduction be simple?

"My dear, that's the whole idea!" Eugene has to put up a lot with my uncertainty and the less feminine side of me.

"You are never without your long, curly and voluminous fake eyelashes. Show them off! Imagine that you challenge yourself to selling those to a guy. Just see how persuasive you are with them" Eugene was really gung-ho on this one.

"I rather sell fake eyelashes to women. At least I know I will make some money out of it" is all I could offer in the game of seduction.

This got Eugene rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up too.

So, my cupid Eugene has been trying to sell to me his 'alien' ideas and I always wonder if they only work in gay world. Actually, I've seen girls flutter their eyelashes, show some shiny naked shoulders (as if that's their best feature) and practically shove it to the face of the guy whom they were trying to seduce, sway their hips sexily (to be honest, I tried it once and my swaying was so forceful that my hips nearly knocked someone off from his chair and I cursed Eugene for this) and whatever seduction styles you name it. But I still haven't master the skill until today EXCEPT my smile. Seriously, I think my smile is contagious and I am so in love with my own smile (never mind that I am full of myself because I believe everyone is entitled to feel proud of themselves, one way or another and that's what keep our lives moving forward). Anyway, I thought seeing enough will feed you with enough knowledge. Unfortunately, it looks like I have so much to learn. I wonder whether it's a bit too late when you are already in your late thirties.

I am a female and that is the fact. I repeat – FEMALE. Why do guys or the male species have to go through the art-of-seduction to fall for a woman? Eugene told me that's where I went wrong in the mating game. Mars is the hunter and Venus (Me! Me!) is to be hunted down. So, in order to be hunted down, we, female, have to play hide-and-seek with Mars to stand a chance to be the target. Sigh. Groan. Sigh. Groan. Ok – truth be told that I am on the less feminine side (I do not live up to my name – Venus) but I can't help it, I have far more and better masculine hormones kicking in my system than the feminine ones. Naturally, I am uhmm rigid in my approach when it comes to the male species.

"Venus! Look, there is one coming our way. Throw him your sexiest look" Eugene has always been encouraging in helping me to upgrade my single status to the next stage.

"What is the sexiest look?" as usual, I am hopeless in this area.

"What is sexy about you?" Eugene has to battle my hopelessness.

"Nothing" I was stating a truth.

"It can't be nothing Venus" Eugene thinks that everyone surely has something nice to show to the world.

"Eugene, I don't even feel sexy inside. Obviously there is nothing sexy on the outside" I knew how such things work. Everything has to come from the heart. The core.

"How did you get into the doomed relationships in the first place?" Eugene was puzzled.

"My smile" is my confidence.

"Then flash it!" Eugene was persistent.

"HEE....." cheeky is my second name and Eugene slapped his forehead.

If by smiling alone I can get a man, I would have attracted scores of them in a long queue right up to the Penang Bridge and probably shoot upwards to Thailand. And, if only falling in love can be as simple as this, I would have been Mrs-So-&-So a long time ago.

With all the hanging-out, checking out and spotting out for the right One, my heart is never quite fulfilled. I begin to wonder if I am after all that difficult to please or perhaps, mentally drawn out a long list of criteria in my search. Maybe I set high expectations that are impossible to fulfil and subconsciously created floodgate to stop love from pouring in until then. Then what? What is it? I always look forward to bedtime so that I can dream – dream of any signpost telling me what I should be searching. I've learned to pick up signs everyday and the Universe sure has its way of showing you what you should know, if it's meant on its way.

In a short span of one month, my best buddy, Eugene, has landed himself many roles – from closest buddy to walking cupid and also, a 'filter'. Now, an all time respectable 'Love Guru'. I hope he preaches the right stuff and I want to believe him simply because he is gay who carries dual personalities. He understands how the male kingdom works yet that woman inside who has better charms than a real female (hey, I am speaking for myself, ok?). I am placed on the learning curve from both worlds of his. It comes with a price. In return for his kindness and generosity, I have to pretend to be his girlfriend for his company's events. It was initially quite fun with all the fuss of dressing up and looking good, and most importantly, that I have a partner. The idea of 'borrowing' was to clear any doubt that his colleagues might have on his single status. When one is without a partner for the longest time, people start to whistle abnormality.

The pretences were easy to act out but it cost me my single status. I wanted to repay him for his lessons by buying him drinks during our hanging-out. He didn't want to accept my offer because he says it's an insult to the ego for a girl to buy a guy drinks all the time. Then, it happened that his company organises one event after another in a month (Eugene works in an advertising company). In a desperate attempt to keep his shadow a secret from his boss and everyone, he asked me to be his girlfriend – temporarily. As a gesture to return his favours, I happily agreed. That's what best buddies are for.

"Venus, we are attending a cocktail party tonight. Wear a plunging neckline." Eugene's order sounded a lot like a boss giving out instructions to his staff.

"I don't have plunging neckline clothes" I am conservative.

"Huh? Don't all women out there have at least one for an occasion?" Eugene seems to know a woman's wardrobe pretty well.

"Sorry, I'm different. Hey, I thought you don't like boobs? What's this plunging neckline thing?" sticking to the conservative me.

"If you are going to be my girlfriend, some assets are good" Eugene winked hard revealing a visible wrinkle at the corner of his eye. He is aging like me too. Sigh.

"I buy you one" Eugene, my generous buddy.

"Yay!"

"If you continue to wear those killer stilettos, you can forget getting yourself a man" Eugene disapproves my wearing high heels all the time.

"Eugene, they are my confidence. You know that!" slapping him on his right arm trying to make him register the sole mission of my high heels.

"What? By making you look a few inches taller?" Eugene grumbles.

"I told you I've been put down by someone about my height and it hurt me badly" the damage was done and I still cannot forget the words uttered and the small laugh let out was like bad music to my ears. It was really not a pleasant tune. I felt humiliated – until today.

"Venus, remember, it's your wisdom and personality that will make you feel and look tall. You have both and that alone already guaranteed you 6ft height!" Eugene is very protective of me and thinks I am a better person than he is even though he has the world under his feet.

"Good things always come in small packages – you, Venus, is one of them" Eugene said those words with such pride that I felt like being French kissed.

"A few inches of false confidence" Eugene's and Fish's disapproving remark.

"Remember I once said I wish I am as petite as you, Venus? I still do" Fish's reminder walked me down to memory lane.

Six years ago.

Why would anyone call themselves 'Fish'? Either I am the conservative lot, sticking to globally accepted and approved known names like Mary, Amy or Mimi OR I am just so not in touch with what's new and happening. Maybe having a different name from others rock – big time. Ok. But Fish?

I was quite shock but not enough to traumatise me (thank you) when I first met Fish. She is truly toweringly tall and thin with typical oriental eyes. In fact, she is taller than her boyfriend. It was already odd that she calls herself 'Fish' and even odder when I see them standing side by side together. This is really opposite attracts, which I believe must have worked out perfectly well for this cute odd couple.

"Hi Fish. Nice to meet you" with a wave of my hand, I acknowledge her.

"Hello. Venus – what a cute name" Fish tries to smile cutely when she mentioned my name.

I wonder whose is cuter. Or funnier. No, it cannot be 'funnier' when it wasn't funny in the first place. Oh, my name is definitely not funny – just plain so-phis-ti-cated. Alright, let's be fair, 'Fish' is uniquely fishy. Anyway, if ever she is a real fish, she is a long fish. So vertically tall as a human and horizontally long as an animal. I can't help it – I have a wild imagination and it's on auto-pilot whenever it sets a target. And I love it!

I met Fish through her boyfriend's cousin whose best buddy's buddy is my boyfriend (by the way, it was said in one breath). I was warned that Fish is an arrogant girl who isn't easy to get along. I mentally prepared myself for any air of arrogance beforehand and they were right about the first impression. I have to be wary of any sort of arrogance attack coming from her in future because the guys hung-out a lot together which only means we will be seeing each other very often. Armed with plenty of diplomacy and tact, I am sure I can handle Fish.

Tsk tsk tsk. I thought 'drama queen' labelling is only for the female species. I didn't know it is also up for grabs by the male species. I discovered that Fish's aloofness stops only at her cool looks and didn't even stretch an inch more to the nightmarish stuff the guys had painted. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that she is actually a nice person. She is just blur, no, really blur is the best description. Most times I find myself repeating what I say to her because she will wear a "Uh?" look right after I finish telling my story OR she will asks what I have mentioned earlier. I suspect half of the time she has small inner self talk and half paying attention to what goes around.

"Venus, you are so cute for your size" Fish emphasizes it with a squeeze of expression.

"Really? HAHAHA!" I laugh on this one and honestly, I wasn't sure whether it's the compliment that tickles or her squeeze of expression that's ticklish.

I didn't know tall people are a fan of small size person. My confidence definitely soars a little here.

"I wish I am as petite as you" I think Fish just found joy in admiring sizes.

Wow. She really knows how to kick an already soaring confidence a little higher.

I can imagine how one would like to experience, even for a second, being in such a size (shrinking into my size) to feel what's like not having to look at people, things or rather life on eagle's eye level. Similarly, I hope to grow many inches taller like Fish, even just for two seconds, being able to capture everything like a satellite in outer space. My high killer stilettos is my make believe height, believe it or not, provides me with plenty comfort whenever I feel I was under 'feel less' situations. Every time I put them on, they pump up good feeling into me – high with ecstasy. They say you must know what pulls you back up and I found mine.

"Well, I wish I am as tall as you" that's right from the bottom of my heart.

This must be opposite attracts. It has got to have some elements of truth – just look at Fish and her boyfriend. They are so opposite. She is tall. He is short. She is thin. He is meaty. She is blur. He is sharp. She is homely. He is outgoing. She is fair. He is greedy. She is faithful. He is not. She is simple. He is materialistic. (Eh? Yeah, I too scratch my head on this one). Well, there you have it, opposite attracts and it's supposed to work out because when you have 2 different individuals, you won't have similarity to bore you, and the differences adoringly (hopefully) spice things up in the relationship. Wrong. Just not for this odd couple.

She provides mental and emotional stability for him and it remains out of balance most times. I didn't know men have such great ability for vulnerability until they become real sensitive over things which I thought only the women are allowed ownership of such feeling. He kicked a fuss over her insensitivity one day but look who is talking.

"That bastard!" Fish and her cough! c-o-u-ugh! powderful words.

Fish and her angry words when she is pissed. The blur side of her is automatically on 'pause' mode whenever she gets upset or angry. Drown in anger, she is normal and sober. My ears and shoulders are Fish's outlet to pour out her sorrows.