Chapter Sixteen: Past: Airport love isn't real

Ever been in a place where you felt like you couldn't breathe or even adjust or just simply be without having to do something as easy as breathing properly, that's how I felt. I cleaned my place last night after that little episode to the point where I felt like I was OCD. It didn't take away the way I felt. It's like I was trapped in a stuffy place, I felt alone but, in a way, determined to get out.

I felt like screaming out my frustration, like yelling at the world for being so clumsy with something as important as my heart. Don't believe me? Paulo Coehlo once said 'You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say.' So, I listened and now I've called in sick for a week and I can't get out of bed. I don't want to… I don't want to see my friends or respond to the frequent knocks I've been receiving on my apartment door.

I finally got out of bed with a stiff body, that begged for food and just walked to the door with no purpose. I couldn't even go out because it was 7 pm the closet shops were closed. As I opened the door they were gifts pilled up. All get well soon and come back when you ready. There was one that caught my eye. A bouquet of red roses mixed with violets and daisies, a note attached to it. I picked up the note and it was signed by Justin… I quickly opened it.

Dear T

You know this is very weird for me and all but yeah. I was offered a job at Travel High. The new company in Colorado. They've seen my work and would love to use it. Though it's an unacceptable thing to say, it's not an excuse, the reason for my anger was because I couldn't decide whether to leave or stay with you. Now situations have taken place so…I've decided to go. I took the positions and my flight leaves tonight at exactly 7:30 pm sharp. I love you and you've seen my actions prove itself. For five years I've tried to win your love. It took me a year to get your attention, two years to see me as more than just a friend or brother, a year to get your approval, and finally one year to get you to show that you love me. I know you. I know all of you, just like you know all of me. So, my deepest condolences to your heart because I sense I've shattered it. That was never my intention. I'm sorry that we need to end like a movie but here we go. This is our story but also this is our end.

It's always Hello Thora, Never Goodbye.

Time seems to freeze I re-read the letter multiple times. His leaving… 7:30 sharp… I bolt back inside and grab my long coat and keys, not caring that I look like absolute crap. I just need to get to him, but I'm shaking with fear. I get to my car and it wouldn't start. It won't start. I jump out with my purse and hurry to the streets. As I rush I dare myself to stand in the middle of the road with cars, now trying to dodge me, for the brightly lit available cab. It screeches to a halt as I stand in its way, ignoring the sudden knock of death, and as soon as it slows the door I rush to get in.

"What the heck do you think your doing lady! Do you want to die!?" the man shouts.

"Listen I don't care. I need to get to the airport. If I don't I'm going to lose the one thing that cared so much to sacrifice time for me. So please drive this cab!" I say with so much determination.

He shakes his head with a sigh, puts the car into gear and we're off. As we draw closer to the airport he asks

"Is He truly worth it?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure you're worth it all?"

I hesitated to answer, "I hope so."

"Love is beautiful and all but remember the beginning may taste nice and bitter with pity fights but it's always worth it in the long run. It just depends on the timing of it. Was it love or a lesson about it?"

A tear rolled down my cheek and I breathed out heavily. I nodded. By 7:25, we were by the doors of the airport, I was about to give him the money when he said,

"Run, love isn't always patient at airports, I'll wait for you. I hope God gives you what you need right now."

I nodded and ran inside the building. Rushing around I kept asking for directions not knowing the boarding area for his plane.

"God helps me," I whispered as I began to cry.

I looked at the big screen and the clock changed to 7:31 pm. I missed him, his already boarded I'm sure. As I turned to head back to the cab, I looked up at boarding station B3, and there he was walking towards the attendant. I sprinted.

"Stop! Please!" I shouted.

"Justin!" I continued

People were looking at me weirdly as I shouted and pushed sprinting towards him. Trying to get his attention.

Begging.

Praying.

Screaming

I stopped, and I screamed with all my might.

"JUSTIN!"

He stopped. He slowly turned around to face me and I ran to him. I collided with him hard as I hugged him, begging him to stay but he kissed my forehead. Pulled my hands from him and whispered:

"Our story has either began or ended or this is just a climax, but my dreams need to hit play even if it means my heart is cold and hits pause. I'm so sorry." He looked at me, pecked my lips, turned, and left. While I stood as if waiting at the altar as if watching my little sister die over again. as if hearing God say, "It's not possible this time."

The driver was right…