s i x : confused

"Kara... Kara... KARA!", Kaylynn screams. Shit... did I do that not listening thing again?

"Yea?"

"Tell us!", Kaylynn and Lisa say in unison.

"Kaylynn, you are the BIGGEST gossip I have ever known, and Lisa, I thought you were waiting until I was comfortable. What happened to that?", I ask, crossing my arms.

"Uh, well we have come to a decision: we will both be asking you what the hell happened last night?!", Kaylynn blurts. Lisa looks away while scratching the spot on her neck just below her ear. Obviously she had nothing to do with Kaylynn's nosiness, and her hiding behind her shoulder-length dreadlocks shows just that.

Lisa's shyness, coupled with Kaylynn's boisterousness, creates a beautiful equilibrium in their relationship, which I wish I had with Jack. Our relationship is... complicated. One minute we are in an open, loving, and fun relationship, and another, we are so distant that the last couple years feel nonexistent. He's just so off sometimes... I wish he would tell me what's on his mind, honestly. It's not even just the sex (or lack thereof). He is different. I just want what Lisa and Kaylynn have--except for the fact that they have to hide from their parents.

In the New World, lesbian relationships aren't accepted as much as gay relationships. It's socially unacceptable for two women to be together; women are 'meant to have a man by their side'. I hear this from my mother too many times to count. If I ever came out, I would be disowned. The fact that Kaylynn and Lisa know how stigmatized their relationship is, and they are still madly in love, just inspires me to look for the same. And that might not be Jack...

"No!", I shout. "No, we did not do it, we did not do the deed, we did not get down and dirty! We did nothing, we have nothing, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOTHING!!", I yell, obviously red in the face.

My friends both have their jaws practically on the floor after my outburst.

"I mean, I-I didn't mean--", I start.

"You want to break up with Jack because of--", Kaylynn interjects.

"It's not just last night. We have been off physically, mentally, and emotionally for a while now. It's embarrassing for me. To be in this passionless relationship--it's breaking me. I honestly don't know what to do".

"W-Well, I", Lisa whispers. Clearing her throat, she adds, "I think you need to tell him that you want out of this relationship... like now".

"Let's not get too hasty", Kaylynn lifts her arms, "We saw you yesterday after school. That's not passionless", she shrugs.

"Yea, that's only when we're in public. It seems like he's faking affection just for an audience. I--", I reply.

"What if he's gay?!", Lisa blurts.

"Wh?", I start, confused as hell. Kaylynn cups her hands over her mouth, looking all around the room.

"Holy shit, he's gay", she says, muffled by her palms. I guess they had reached an agreement. My boyfriend of two years is gay. Hmm. Wow, how the hell had I not noticed?

"But don't confront him with it", Lisa says, causing me to give her a WTF glance, "I mean not yet. You don't know for sure, and it might hurt his feelings if you accuse him", she shrugs. I bounce my head on Kaylynn's pink fluffy comforter. I have no idea how to act around him now. What if it's true?

"I think I'm going to break up with him. Even if he's not gay, I know I deserve better than this. I need better than this", I glance down.

Reaching out to touch my shoulder, Kaylynn says, "We just want the best for you, Kara. Do what pleases you, alright?".

"Of course. But I should do it in person, right?", I say.

"Yes", Lisa says.

"Yes, 100%!", Kaylynn says.

"Okay, then", I tap my thigh, "I'll just drive over there, and--", suddenly Kaylynn pushes her tongue down Lisa's throat. Awkward... "So, yeah... Bye guys", I rush out of there so quick. It was awkward to watch them attack each other with their tongues, but at the same time, I was in awe of them.

I practically speed to Jack's house, and it feels as if I'm about to let go of a 200 pound weight that I've been carrying for two years. One more corner to turn, and I'm at his door. It's 1:15. I took five minutes to get here... wow. I'm more enthusiastic now than I was last night... that must be saying something.

I knock ferociously until I hear footsteps approach me. I let out a deep breath, and the door opens quickly. Suddenly I'm yanked in.

"Hey, chill, my dad's asleep. Had we planned to meet up today? It's not a good time", he whisper-yells.

"We hadn't, but I have something important to say", I whisper. I can't maintain full eye contact for too long, so my gaze bounces all around the living room. Jack leans down to lay a kiss on my cheek, but I walk away.

"What do you want to say?", he asks suspiciously.

"I want to break up", I start. Jack clearly looks panicked. "I just don't think that our relationship has been going smoothly for a while. I just--"

"Is this about last night?!", he almost screams.

"No... Yes", I mumble, looking around guiltily.

"No... Yes?", he asks in a tone laced with menace. "Is that all you have to say? 'I want to break up'. What the hell?!", he shouts.

"Hey", I whisper-shout, pulling him outside, "Isn't your dad sleeping? Oh wait, he's not even home!", I say, gesturing toward the empty spot on his driveway. I'm not one of those clingy, possessive girlfriends, but context clues, duh.

"Th-That--", he starts, "I just said that because--".

"Because what? Because you wanted me to leave? That's exactly my point. The lies, the discomfort, I just can't deal anymore. We're done", I yank my hand away from his, which is holding on for dear life.

"Fine, whatever", he says, sounding defeated. Slowly nodding and biting his lip, he turns back into his house.

I stare at the polished navy blue door for so long, I don't realize I'm holding my breath. I let it out, and head directly to my car... 200 pound weight lifted. After driving for a minute or so, I reach the intersection where I first saw that abandoned apartment building. The lights are on, hmm intrigue.

I quickly park and jump out the car, heading to the side entrance, just like last night. This may be a mistake but, again, what do I possibly have to lose? My parents, my friends, my life, my grades--okay I have a lot to lose, but a possibly illegal and definitely controversial rendezvous with some anti-New Worlders would make my uneventful life substantially more bearable. I have questions and maybe what I see when I sneak in will answer them. How did Shawn get involved with these people? How does this group even exist? In how many other regions are there "secret" factions? I find myself looking over my shoulder more than normal now; how many of the people close to me are opposed to the New World? I shudder at the thought of my dad being one of those people. Things are finally okay. Although I was born in 2024, years after the world reversed, the stories I've heard are just-just I don't even have words. The way women were treated... I never want to have to go through that personally. And here this group is: conspiring to bring us back to those dark times... I can't wrap my head around it.

"When are the travelers going through?", a deep voice booms. I stand behind a large, leafy plant in a painfully rotund neon yellow vase... subtle. Across the room, two large men in blue suits converse. I guess the uniform is pretty much permanently adhered to these anti-New Worlders.

"In a few days, sir. I promise they will arrive just as we planned", one of them claims.

The man, titled sir, is the same man I saw in the blue mask last night. So he's the brain behind this whole operation, the leader... this is like a cult. I mentally gag.

"Great. Soon this Earth will be back on its axis. Those men knew back in 2020 that this 'Revolution'", he mocks every syllable of the last word, "would go to shit", he finished. I snort, fucking incels.

The blue-masked--but not wearing his blue mask--man turned to my direction, and instantly my heart stopped, or at least it felt that way.

"Why in God's name had we thought buying that horrific green plant was okay?", he says, disgusted. Phew, he hadn't seen me. I let out a loud breath, and the other blue-suited man spots me. Shit.

"Hey, stop right there!", he shouts. I panic, and I don't know whether to freeze and play dead, or run like hell. Just as I decide to run like hell:

"Sir, how can I help with--", a teenage boy starts.

"You can tell me if you know this girl", he spits out the last word.

"Umm", he mumbles. Just then, I slowly step out of my horrible hiding spot. Standing in plain view, our eyes meet again. I never thought I would say it, but thank God. "Yea I know her", he says, emotionless. His eyes, once alerted, are back to their usual gloom. I hate this mood on him.

Shawn's POV:

What the hell is Kara doing here? How much has she heard? What if she knows about the plan? Shit, she can blow the entire thing! I hadn't known how much of a problem she would be before. Should I have told Mr. Grayson about an intruder when I saw her last night, and let him take care of it? No... I know exactly what he would have done to her, and I can't let that happen. I can't let her come to any harm. I believe in the Counterrevolution but murder is another thing... Suddenly I unconsciously burst into a large grin. The fact that we are all huddled together in an abandoned apartment building, discussing the fall of the New World, and Kara is still in her red Coldstone uniform. Just as it appears, I push away the smile, which is totally inappropriate in this crucial moment. Before I can refrain from thinking back, the memory of her handing me my ice cream floods back. The horror in her eyes while realizing it was me... I end up busting into laughter.

Mr. Grayson snaps his gaze toward me, "Shawn, is there something particularly funny that you want to share?", he asks.

"Uh, ahem, no sir. Just a reflex, I guess", I shrug.

"Shawn and I go to the same school", Kara blurts out, making it sound like one long word.

"Y-Yes, and... And we planned to meet, so I gave her this address. I hope it's okay, sir", I plead.

"Why was she hiding behind a plant?", Greg asks, arms folded. I mentally sigh. Fuck, Greg, we were almost out of this mess.

"I was just waiting by the door. I didn't mean to 'hide'", she says with air quotes.

"Hmm", Greg seems to be thinking hard, tapping his foot. He's not very bright so whatever he's thinking is most definitely not either.

"Sorry to intrude", she whispers, hiding behind her hair, "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything. I just came for Shawn".

I rush up to her, grabbing her hand, and lead her out from where she came: "Bye, Mr. Grayson. Bye, Greg".

"Let's get in your car", I tell her.

Kara's POV:

I swear, as he grabs my hand, I can feel a shock. I jump a little, surprised, and exit alongside him.

"Let's get in your car", he says urgently.

We had never been so close before he lead me out of the apartment, even though we sat next to each other in class. Hmm... Shawn's hair smells like a beach... weird. Tap, tap, tap. Here we go again. I roll my eyes.

"Okay! I get it, my listening skills are on zero lately, but what did I zone out on this time?", I ask.

He smirks and looks straight at me, "You stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time when you should have been DRIVING", he shouts the last word.

"Oh, right, driving", I smack my forehead, "We should get the hell out of here", I say.

"Yes! Finally a good fucking idea. I was starting to lose faith in your decision-making skills since I saw you last night", he widens his eyes, throwing his hands up.

"Hey! Don't curse at me. I'm still a little shook. That situation could have ended in many ways", I say, "Thanks for that, by the way".

"Whatever", he shrugs.

"Wow, I'm thanking you, and you still find a way to be an ass", I say.

"Just being a decent human is nothing that deserves thanks", he looks out the window. I sigh. This has been a long afternoon, and it's only 2. I don't even know where the hell we're going.