t h i r t e e n : can it get any worse?

His eyes never left the road, and I could tell he was getting antsy as I maintained the silence in the car. My face softened a bit, but it morphed into confusion.

We pass townhouses, skyscrapers, parks, and pools on our drive. Kids play mindlessly among one another, and adults converse and bond over drinks. This group of teens, guys, was strolling out of Starbucks, taking selfies and yelling "period", when a couple girls catcalled them.

"You look fine ma", one barked to the guys. The other made a grabbing motion toward a red-haired guy's butt, but he lunged forward before she could actually grab him.

Laughing, the girls continued on their way across the street. The guys, however, look completely horrified.

I turn forward after witnessing that encounter, and I see a fresh scowl on Shawn's face.

Slowly, all traces of the city had passed us. Where the hell are we going? -- "Somewhere to talk" is not a good enough answer.

"If you are going to kidnap me, I would love to know beforehand--you know to prepare myself mentally", I break the silence.

His face relaxes, "Yeah, I'm kidnapping you... and aliens exist", he says sardonically.

"Hey", I point, "it's completely naive to think that we are the only creatures in the entirety of the universe", I shrug. He rolls his eyes, and looks over to me with a half smile. He holds the gaze for a bit too long, and I'm honestly getting uncomfortable.

I snap, "Focus on the road".

We sit in silence for the remainder of the ride, watching middle class neighborhoods, gyms, and restaurants pass us by. We're literally on a dirt road about 10 minutes later.

If I look antsy or restless, Shawn either pays me no mind, or he doesn't care. He's operating the wheel with his left hand, which is more muscly than I remember. He sits next to me in Geometry everyday, and I swear he's always had bony black-painted nails--or was that just his goth phase?

Now his hands look like those TikTok thirst traps.

I hadn't noticed before, but he has his right arm behind my headrest as he smoothly turns the Jeep onto another unmarked dirt road. Hey, at least his car is made for this terrain.

It can also carry rope, a tarp, duct tape, and whatever else he might need.

"Hey, at least ask me to dinner first", I jokingly point at his arm.

He rolls his eyes, "Eww", and he makes an overly exaggerated disgusted face. But he doesn't retract his arm.

I relax and sit back. We're in the forest now: tall spruce trees tower over us, thick and untended bushes brush against the car, and we can hear the wildlife before we see it.

We reach a clearing now, and the sunlight shocks me so much I have to slap my palms over my eyes.

Shawn's unfazed, though, putting on a devilish smirk as I wince at the sunlight.

He parks under a tall thick tree, which provides enough shade for my throbbing eyes. It's really bright--I'm not exaggerating... like some people.

"Phew", I let out a breath, "I can see again".

"What are you--a vampire?", he asks.

"Ha ha", I fake laugh. He gets on his phone, and scrolls through Instagram, while I stare out the windshield. Hadn't we come here to talk?

Time to get someone's attention.

I kick my black sneakers off, and rest my feet on the dash. I'm wearing mismatched polka dot socks, but I don't care... mismatched is in. I shrug off my sweater, and toss it to the backseat--yes, it's summer, but I never leave without my sweater... it's like part of my skin. I would usually feel uncomfortable right about now in my cotton t-shirt dress, but I'm bored and annoyed. Also, shit... my friends are still at my house. I'm the world's worst party host.

That gets his attention.

He looks up with anger and then confusion.

"Get your feet", he reaches over, "off the dash", he barks. Damn, calm down.

I move them before he can pull them off.

"Finally, I've got your attention", I cross my arms.

I notice his gaze shift down a few inches.

"Hey", I snap, "eyes up here", I point to my face.

"Oh, please", he waves me off, "I wasn't looking at that. I'm looking at the fact that you have taken off that sweater, which I thought was chemically bonded to your skin", he explains. Sure.

"Hmm", I'm unconvinced.

"Which reminds me, you still have my flannel", he crosses his arms. How did he turn it on me?

"What are we here for?", I ask. "We could have talked at Coldstone", I say. And saved ourselves a thirty minute drive. We wouldn't have to go through all this if he had just taken me to the meeting--that's all I wanted.

"Your boyfriend would have overheard. This information is something you shouldn't even know", he finishes.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore", I say flatly, "And you know this".

"Sorry that I can't keep up with every part of your personal life", he shrugs.

"We already had this conversation", I say, "And if I can recall correctly, you felt sympathy for him".

"Whatever", he shrugs.

Shawn's POV:

Thank God she broke up with that fucker. Of course I remember. I would have been fine with Jack any other day, but seeing him earlier just made something in me click.

Earlier at Coldstone

I stare at the ice cream freezer as Jack maintains the most awkward stare with me... well not with me, because he's staring on his own. I'm not entertaining this childish shit. If Kara and her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend--whatever--are going back and forth, I don't want to be involved.

He must be admiring my soft hair, because he's staring a hole into my head.

"Do you like", I pause, "need something?", I ask sarcastically.

"What?", he seethes. Whoa, dude, what the fuck's your problem?

Just then, I turn sharply and walk over to him. With each step, I say a word, "Do... you... need... something?", I ask slowly--so that he can understand.

I'm not afraid of some glorified bench-warmer. And although I know absolutely nothing about basketball, as someone who does, he should do better--his performance is pitiful.

"I need to know what you want with my girlfriend", he crosses his arms. I bet he thinks he did something remarkable just then. Ooh, you caught me--I'm moving in on your girl--give me a break. She wants to be involved in something that does not include her, and I'm entertaining her until I figure out how to diffuse the threat of exposure.

"What I want", I start, "is none of your business", I point to him. I don't have any of those intentions with Kara, but there's no harm in letting him believe so, is there?

Smoke is literally coming through his ears... or it would be.

"She's not on the market, bro", he says. Eww, what is it with jocks and their use of the word "bro"? I'm not your bro, you dumb fuck.

"Kara is not an object. Thus, she can't be on any market... that's illegal", I inform him. "If that's what you intend to do to her, I can call the authorities, and we'll see where you end up after", I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. It's my trademark. This smile is worse than any frown.

I usually don't like to boast about our matriarchal government and its rules, but he's pissing me off.

"Of course I don't mean like that", he whisper-shouts. Does he not want Kara to hear what a jealous, raging asshole he is? "You asked me for her number a while back", he starts, "What for? You two aren't friends".

"Well, we are now", I reply, with one eyebrow raised. We haven't fully discussed what we would tell people who saw us together, but "friends" would work. Hmm... my friend Kara. I guess it works.

Just then, she exits the employee restroom, and Jack is turning beet-red.

Present Time

I settle on staring out my window. I guess it's fully confirmed that Kara and Jack, our school's model couple, are broken up. She hadn't even cared that he showed up today. I unconsciously smile at that, but just as it appears, I straighten my face.

I couldn't give two fucks if they stayed together or broke up, but at least now she won't bitch and moan about him. I don't do girl talk, and now that they're over, I don't have to listen to it.

That's the only reason I care.

Cause this girl can be annoying.

"So, you don't want to be done with me just yet", that annoying voice says in the most childish way possible.

I turn and scowl, "Just forget about it".

She chuckles, "No, I don't want to forget it", she pouts. "I don't want to just forget your declaration of love!", she exclaims. The hell? I only love my bed and my mama, I'm sorry--wise words of Drake, classic.

"Are you completely insane?!", I blurt. "I just meant that I want to be your", I pause to find the right word, "'friend'", I airquote. She's still grinning like a fool.

"Relax", she rolls her eyes, "You're not my type anyway".

Hey, I'm everyone's type.

"So that's what we", she gestures from me to her, "are? Officially friends".

"At least that's what we'll tell people who ask why we're hanging out", I settle. "Or your boyfriend who asks why I have your number".

She scowls with an eye roll.

"Ex-boyfriend", I correct myself, as I raise my hands in innocence.

"Back to more important matters", she says, "The anti-New Worlders". There goes hoping she'll forget.

"We're planning to send some time travelers--", I start before I'm rudely interrupted.

"I'm sorry, you believe in time travel, but not aliens? What type of shit is this?", she frowns. Kara, Kara, Kara.

"I've seen this", I emphasize, "with my own eyes. We have no evidence of aliens even existing", I cross my arms with a triumphant grin. She knows I'm right, and even if she doesn't, I'm right. "We've sent the travelers through time and watched them return safely. They took a video in New York City in 2018 as proof", I explain. Her jaw is practically on the floor.

"I-", she's in disbelief, "What? How is this real?", her eyes glance all around the car.

"There is a machine that has been built piece by piece since this New World shit started", I say flatly.

"So ever since our New, better, World was conceived, there have been people willing its downfall? I bet this whole thing was started by men", she seethes, spitting out the last word. She's fuming, her fists clenched so tight, I can see the outline of her bones. "And you can take offense because you support this", she attempts to punch my shoulder. But I grab her fist before it lands.

"I know you've been dying to touch me, but there are better ways", I say softly. Her eyes glance down to my lips. I've got her right where I want her--all girls are the same. I say a few seductive words, and they fall at my feet.

She drops her fist and unravels it so that her flat palm is on my thigh. I flinch so hard--it's just a reflex, though--this stuff doesn't affect me much... at least not before now.

She looks right into my eyes, and leans over the arm rest so that we're only a few inches apart. While pressing harder on my thigh, her other palm collides with my cheek. What a fucking plot twist.

I literally have to adjust and compose myself after that... am I just imagining the sexual tension? Or had she played me?

"Ouch!", I exclaim sarcastically. "That hurt so bad", I exaggerate. I have to play it off cool, of course.

"Joke's on you because I wasn't trying that time", she shakes her head like a kindergartner who thinks they won the argument.

"The plan is for the travelers to go back to 2020 and stop this", I gesture to the world around us, "from happening".

"Hey", she sounds more serious, "If I know anything about time travel, I know that changing any event can impact the entire world as we know it", she looks up earnestly.

"Yeah", I shrug, "that's the whole point". Duh.

"Your family, friends, even where you live can be totally different if they change history", she says. I hope so. "Also, don't you advocate for equality?", she asks, "They want male supremacy, and you're gonna stand with that?".

"I--", I start, but I know I have nothing else to tell her; I'd been hoping that I could convince the faction leaders to go about this with an equality approach--but sadly they all just want the world back to "normal".

I want a world where my birth mom's leaving me before I could even speak would not happen. I want a world where my dad doesn't have to sell himself to get by. But of course she doesn't get this, she's always lived a privileged life.

"We can't all get what we want", I settle. "You've always been supported by your parents--my birth parents didn't give me shit", I spit. I don't even notice how angry I am when I first say it.

Kara's looking down, inching toward the door.

"Hey, I didn't mean to--", I apologize--or at least I try to.

"What if we join the travelers?", she says, as her eyes widen and a huge grin is planted on her face. Is she nuts?