Shawn's POV:
What the hell would I want with Tiana? I don't want to be an instrument for her control. I pity anyone who's had to suffer that role. Honestly. Why would Kara want me with her? The whole thing is confusing. I barely know if I have any feelings for Kara--and we've spent a lot more time together. There's something I don't know. Maybe it's their chance to use the quiet kid as a pawn in some game. What if this whole thing was a game? I know who she hangs around. She literally had to force herself to do this with me. I'm fucking stupid for thinking other than the obvious. She probably told them all about our--my--plan. They're all laughing at me, I bet. All these thoughts are making my mellow expression sour by the second. But then I turn to her, with her head rested on my shoulder, and I don't want to believe that all this was just a joke to her. I had never even thought of Kara in that way before she randomly kissed me at the party--then Rochel slapped her. She shouldn't have done that. I still haven't apologized for her violence yet. Maybe Kara and I are better off as friends. Her looks and personality aren't in question. She's beautiful--I've always kinda thought that. Her attitude before this summer though--she wasn't remotely likeable. Maybe it's just because I hadn't had a conversation with her. We couldn't have, though. The only reason we spoke since school let out is because she saw me at that meeting. The only reason we're friends is because of anti-New World conspiracy--other than that, we don't have much in common. I don't know if witty banter counts. Her friends don't know me. Her parents absolutely won't approve of me. There's no way I could or should get involved with her. Plus, she's a girlfriend girl--and I don't have girlfriends. I've never had a girlfriend. She doesn't need to know that, though. Or that I think about her in that way--sometimes. It doesn't matter. She has a loyal boyfriend waiting for her, and I can't compete. I-I don't want to compete. Our relationship will remain friendly, and I'll go out with Tiana. The thought makes me mentally gag. If I'm lucky, she'll realize she doesn't want anything to do with me. And my life can go back to normal. As normal as it was before befriending her.
She moves her head, groaning, "Did I fall asleep here, again?!"
"Yeah, you really need to work on that. What if I was a psychotic killer?"
She rolls her eyes, "As a psychotic killer, I appreciate you for respecting my sleep. It's been a long day." She checks her phone. "Phew. Okay, It's only 6."
"When's your curfew?"
"Like 11."
"So what was the big deal with that other night?"
"Ohh, the issue with that was I never told them where I went."
"Right."
She chuckles, "My mom even made me take a pregnancy test the next day." Huh?! "She thought you and I were..." she trails off into deep laughter.
I join her because that sounds ridiculous.
"That's crazy."
"She's crazy, I would never--"
I raise my eyebrow.
"I mean," she picks up, "We literally just started really talking. I don't mean that you're bad at it. I mean I wouldn't know or anything... you must be though. You have that sock on your door for a reason..." she rambles. I consider using that effective method of shutting her up.
I only manage a light chuckle, "Another thing to add to the list."
"Hmm?"
"We have gazing around the room and rambling on the list of things you do when you're anxious."
"There's a list?" she chuckles.
I shrug.
"I should get home," she shrugs. "This has been fun, though, and weird."
"Bye," I call, as she heads for the front door. I glance over to the rear of the house. I haven't checked on mom in a while.
"Wait," she spins around, "Who's gonna be responsible for the..." she points at the remote.
"Me, duh."
"Why you?" she crosses her arms.
"Less risk. And I have more at stake, so I'll take better care of it."
"Valid point. Okay, good night. Put it somewhere safe, so we don't have to dive into a vat of socks and condoms to find it. Please," she finishes softly.
I just shake my head at her bluntness and giggle to myself. She closes the door, and with that, my excitement is gone.
Yesterday, The Pool Party
Kaylynn's POV:
I sigh, "Don't you think this fight's gone on long enough?"
She rolls her eyes, "It's not a fight. This is just the difference between right and wrong."
"She probably doesn't even care anymore. It was so long ago. We shouldn't meddle."
"Kay, I love you. I'm not gonna ruin our relationship because of some rumor," I let out a sigh of relief, "but you should tell her. I'm sure Kara would not want to be friendly with Tiana if she knew."
I nod. She's right. I'm going to tell her today.
Just as we've reduced this heavy topic to some familiar small talk, Tiana comes rushing past us with a book in her hand. I can't even think this with a straight face... A BOOK. There's definitely a story to this.
"Wow. Tiana with a book. Who would have thought?," I cackle.
She sharply about faces, and speeds back to us, "You never saw me with this."
Then she looks down at the hand holding the book. With a disgusted look, she tries to take it out of her hand, but it's stuck. Gross. "Ewwww!," she cries.
"Sure, we never saw you with a book," I shrug, "It's not like we could convince anyone it's true," I chuckle.
Lisa giggles.
"This isn't funny? Do you know what this is?," she spits.
Lisa and I exchange confused looks.
"It's Shawn's diary," she says sassily. She seems to feel accomplished, holding someone's diary.
"Wait, who?"
"Shawn."
We both still have no clue what the fuck she's talking about.
"Shawn... I don't know his last name," she sounds frustrated. It's not our fault she's so self-centered she can't remember a guy's name. She goes through so many of them.
Lisa's just looking down silently. I know she's furious about what Tiana did, but she doesn't like confrontation.
"You know, you could have kept walking, and we wouldn't have been suspicious at all," I lightly chuckle, "I mean other than the fact that you were carrying a book."
She huffs, "What's with this weird notion that I am so incapable of reading for fun?"
I shrug. Then I start to put the pieces together. "Why do you have Kara's friend Shawn's diary?," I inch toward her, "Tiana, if you're planning some--"
"Relax, Kay. I'm returning it. She stole it, and I'm just trying to do right by him."
"Mmhmm. There's definitely something in it for you. You don't have a selfless bone in your body."
She looks a little hurt, but I'm just stating the truth.
"Aren't you a little sick of it?"
"Of what, Ti?"
"Of feeling like a side character in her life!," she blurts. Huh? If anything, Tiana's the main character--always the main character. If people know Kara, Lisa, or me, it's because of her.
"Here we go again," I sigh, "No one's paying attention to me. I need attention," I mock her.
She rolls her eyes, "Whatever. Mock me all you want, but soon you'll see it."
"Sure," I roll my eyes. "Let's go back to the party," I grab Lisa's hand and we walk toward the music.
Tiana scurries away with the diary. She really has no chill. How could someone, presumably your bestfriend, do so much behind your back? And I know I'm just as bad.
Tiana's POV:
I quickly make my way to my room. I'm tired of her trying to make it seem like she has such a big moral compass. Fuck morals. I want him, and I'm gonna get him. Jack may not see me in that way, but Shawn will. He has. We almost had sex at Andrew's party. I know exactly how to get him to want me--or rather who I will get him to want me.
I sit on my plush white comforter, and flip through the book. This is gonna be... interesting.
Ooh. February 15th, 2038--Freshman Year-ish
"I can't believe I'm actually writing in this. Dear Diary--no that's too cliche. Dear... me? Okay, Dear me: I saw a flier for some anti-New World organization. I thought that everyone blindly followed the established social order. It's probably stupid to think that I'm the only one who opposes the government, though. I just thought something was wrong with me. Maybe a group of likeminded people is what I need to feel some... I don't know, purpose or something. I'm not that stupid, though. I know not to tell any adults about this. What I don't get is why the flier was posted where anyone could see. They probably underestimate the government, but I know the lengths it will go to. Even in history class, I've learned how far certain governments have gone--what's to say that this new government and society won't... I don't know, it feels a little fishy. Who knows what the government officials will do to--"
This is a long ass entry... I'm not even halfway through. I guess I have learned one thing, though: Shawn is part of this unnamed anti-New World group. Interesting. Or he was part of one; this entry is from earlier this year.
"people who go against it. They can't fully erase the 100s of years when things were different, but I know they eventually want to. That scares me. Why do the roles have to be reversed. I've got nothing from the Reversal but pain and abandonement--"
Ugh, I don't need the sob story. If you're fuckable, be fuckable. Just don't speak. Skimming down to:
"I saw her again today: the bane of my existence. And I will see her everyday until I graduate. That thought is sickening. Well, 'bane' is a strong word, but she's a disruption in the usually smooth flow of life I've got going on. Kara Vox. She sits next to me in math. No matter what, for some weird reason we're always seated next to each other in math class. Even in elementary school. I can't escape her. Our lastnames aren't even close. I'm F and she's V! So some spiritual or magical being wants us put together--the universe maybe. It's been years, and I bet she doesn't remember my name. I know hers. She always comes in with her earbuds in, bumping some loud rap music with strong beats. It's so loud. I can't even think straight near her. Sometimes she leaves them in during class--loud as hell. And does Mr. Smith make her take them off, or take her phone? NO! It's female privilege, I swear. If I even bring that up, I'll be ignored. She and all her stuck-up friends do whatever they want, and they receive no punishment whatsoever. And then the slouching! She leans into my space, sometimes taking a full nap during class. How she manages that and ends up making good grades, I will never know. It's the female privilege. With all that napping and listening to music, there's no way she understands what's going on... no way. The way the girls walk around the school, saying what they want, treating people in any kind of way, it's horrible. But the administration just looks away. I get shoved in the hallway with no apology and they make jokes (mean jokes). Nobody should treat anyone else this way, even if the roles were reversed for several centuries. There has to be some other solution to this shit because I'm tired of having to step on eggshells around them. I'm tired of having to pretend I'm okay with someone blasting music by my ear in class. I'm tired of having to appease women with my silence. So yeah, I will be joining that group. I've made up my mind."
Wow, heavy stuff. He's still hot, though. I surely can fuck him before turning him in.