t h i r t y - n i n e : unplanted seeds

I'm laying in his arms as he massages the back of my hand with his thumb. I could stay in this cuddling position forever. Secretly, he's such a softy. "One of those people", he called me when we went back in time. He is, too. I put my underwear and bra back on because I felt a little awkward. No matter how open we are, I still think I'll be self conscious about my body. Society says we're not supposed to be. "Be confident", my mom reminds me. But it's not that easy. Even before Andrew's party, I questioned wearing that yellow two piece... I was so relieved when Shawn offered me his flannel.

Some candles flicker on the bedside table. "You lit candles," I smile.

He frowns, rolling his eyes, "What?"

"You're so romantic," I coo.

"No," he affirms, "I just happen to like candles."

I giggle. "Leave me alone," he hits me on the head with a pillow.

"Don't be embarrassed to admit that you have a soft side, Shawn. I won't tell anyone," I zip across my lips.

He just rolls his eyes and pulls me closer. "I really like you."

*Butterflies*

"Sappy enough?"

"It's not sappy if it's true," I cross my arms.

He chuckles. "I hope you know that I never want to even be in the same car as Tiana again."

"Okay, enough Tiana slander." I can't believe I'm saying this.

"You should be slandering her more."

I shrug. "Just promise me I won't have to spend extensive amounts of time with her again," he laughs.

"Promise," I say lowly.

He straightens, "What's wrong?"

"She was my bestfriend..."

"She did horrible things to you, and she's a horrible person in general. How could you still care about her?"

"I can't turn off my feelings easily like some people..."

He rolls his eyes, "I just think that there's no point in being fully invested in something, mentally and emotionally, if you might get disappointed in the end."

"That's a pretty one-sided way of looking at things... anything can lead to disappointment. You just need to put yourself out there and hope for the best."

"And look how you ended up: heartbroken over some stupid jock and a prissy bitch, who pretended to be your friend."

"I have such good taste in acquaintances. I'm here with you," I smile.

He rolls his eyes, "What I mean is that they disappointed you, despite knowing you for years. It just shows that you can't always trust people," he shrugs.

"I'm confused: are you trying to make me feel better or worse?"

He laughs. "Neither, I guess."

"Shawn!"

"My point is that you shouldn't feel bad about them. They didn't deserve you."

I smile, speechless. Caring Shawn is showing through.

"Mm, okay."

He bends over and kisses me again. "You should stay over," he whispers.

My mom would kill me. I mean, Jack stayed over sometimes, but she knew and trusted his dad and him. She barely trusted Shawn to be my friend.

"I probably can if I tell my mom I'm staying at a friend's house."

"We are 'friends'," he airquotes.

I chuckle. I call her and surprisingly she doesn't suspect anything. Mission accomplished.

I lean back over, and he puts his arm back around me. "She flirted with me and tried to fuck me in her car."

"Fuck that bitch," I murmur.

He smirks.

I play with my fingernails for a few seconds, one of my nervous ticks. "When did you figure out that you liked me?" I ask.

"Mm... probably when you got naked earlier," he says smugly.

I stare at him, deadpan.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Probably when you yelled at me in my car."

"Be more specific," I giggle.

"Right... you have a weird habit of yelling... When I lied to you about the meeting... I picked you up from work. By the way, what's happening with that job?"

"I quit. I just wasn't feeling it anymore. Also, I wanted my sleep. But continue."

He brushes his hair back, "Jack was there," he says more like a question. Do I sense nervousness?

"I was wondering why it seemed so tense when I finished changing out of my uniform. Did you guys have like a pissing contest or some shit?"

"There was no pissing, but he did seem to think that we were together."

"So you were jealous of him?" I interject.

"Ehh, not really," he shrugs.

I laugh, "What?"

"He just kept trying to accuse me of making a move on you. I think he was threatened."

"He had reason to be," I smile mischeviously.

"I guess that was the first time I considered the idea... a little. Then I came to the conclusion that it was ridiculous."

"Shawn!"

"Okay, okay. That wasn't really the first time I figured out I liked you romantically or whatever."

Or whatever?

I cross my arms. "Let me gather my thoughts," he says. "Okay, maybe after you kissed me the first time, and we didn't talk about it. I thought about it more. I wondered why the hell you'd like me or if you kissed me for a dare... random shit," he shrugs. "I didn't want it to have a huge effect on me... but then it kind of did. And I knew what type of relationship you generally looked for, so I just ignored it. I kissed you, I think twice after that, and you rejected me and said we should just be friends. I felt a little down after that... I think that's when I really wanted you."

*Flies of butter*

He didn't look it, but I could tell he was being sincere. I'm just smiling like an idiot.

Then I straighten, "I think we should enact phase two of the plan tonight."

"Phase two?"

"Yeah. We're going to 2017 to..." I gesture.

"Isn't this phase one?," he raises an eyebrow.

"No, phase one was getting the remote."

"I don't think that was part of the plan. I did it on a whim, because, you know, I'm just that awesome," he shrugs dramatically.

I laugh out loud. "Humble of you. Fine, we'll call it phase one," I roll my eyes at his ridiculousness. "Let's go," I finish.

"Wait," he calls.

"What?"

"Forgetting something... things," he points to my half naked body. Oh.

"Whoops," I cover my mouth. "This is a suitable outfit, though," I laugh.

"Not back then," he says darkly.

Right.

I change back into the clothes I came with, while he put on his jeans and a sweater.

"Do you have a fever or something?" I point to his layered look.

"We're going back to March," he tosses me a jacket. Possibly another to add to my collection?

"And after a few tries," he continues, "I've figured out that we don't necessarily need a capsule to travel. Come here."

I walk over to him, and he pulls me close, pressing the buttons. And we're off.

John's POV:

It's always the same: I'm the one getting blamed. Hew was so proud of the invention... he wanted to find willing participants for our cause. I just helped. That's all I try to do: help. And suddenly I'm the one who screwed everything up. Fuck this.

Then a familiar blue light that I can only ascribe to one thing shines in front of me. The blue flashes show in the night sky: a little security measure that I implanted.

The all-knowing Hew wouldn't even acknowledge me for it, though. Time to tell the others.

Kara's POV:

March 2017

We arrive in a hidden corner along a white hallway. Tucked into the space, I'm wrapped in his arms.

I take a deep breath, "We're here."

He puts the device in his pocket, and we walk down the long hallway.

I spot a woman in a lab coat. "Hello. Where is the main lab?"

She points to a door a few feet ahead of us on the left. "Um, can we find Ms. Thompson in there?"

She nods with a smile.

We continue and it's an all female lab, bustling with ideas, technology, and hope, hope for the future. Little did they know, their ideas would come into fruition, but at what cost?

I turn to Shawn. He's just taking it all in: the very beginning.

He's fixated on young President Carrington, just a college sophomore in this time. "I know why she envisioned this whole thing, but..." he trails.

"Hello," Ms. Thompson booms. "I heard some people were looking for me. Would that be...?"

"Yes," I nod. "I'm Kara."

"I'm Shawn."

"And we're two anthropology majors at NYU," I improvise. He plays along.

"We'd like to talk to you about what you're doing here--somewhere private maybe?"

"Okay, I'll lead you two to a conference room where we can have a chat."

She walks a few feet ahead of us, and I pull out my phone.

"Should we tell her who we really are in private or no?" I text him.

"No. We should ask her some questions, and make it seem like we're interviewing her or something. She'll open up a bit... then we enter with our ideas..." he replies.

I read the text, then looking up to see him waiting for my approval of the plan.

I nod yes.

Entering the white conference room, we sit across from her at a sleek white table.

We look weird without a clipboard, notes, or much of anything, so I take out my phone and record.

"So, Ms. Thompson--" I start.

"Terra's fine. We're all probably pretty close in age. Ms. Thompson sounds old." If she only knew...

"S-Sorry. Terra, how did you get involved in Lacey Carrington's cause?"

"Well, I see this as the cause of all womankind, not just one person. But, to answer your question, I bumped into her in a lab, and the rest is history. I recognized her from her viral tweet, and her creative writing essay. She's such an inspiration," she smiles.

Shawn twitches in his seat. "What do you say to the people who think your plan is far-fetched or ridiculous?" he asks. Playing devil's advocate, I see.

"I say that they need to get educated."

"What if they are?"

"Then they need more," she emphasizes.

Woah there.

"Um, I think what Shawn is trying to ask is how exactly do you respond to hecklers on the street or online trolls?" I try to speak over the tension. Is this dude trying to blow our cover?

He straightens, "Right."

"I try to ignore them," she nods. "I just exude positivity and try to get the public to see our side. That's what seemed to work. Soon everyone will believe that we should change society for the better."

Shawn and I exchange a knowing look. "Thank you," we say, getting up at the same time.

She looks confused, "Is that all?"

"Yep," I say.

I stop the recording and text him, "We need to find some place completely private, and I don't mean that corner. Follow me."

He reads it and nods. Once we're out of sight, I pull him into a family bathroom and lock the door behind us.

Phew, I let out some air that feels like I've been holding it for years. We might be fucked.

"She's really..." I start.

"Deadset?" he asks, tilting his head.

"We might have to break open this lab in 3 years ourselves."

"Welp, you know I'm down for anything," he smiles.

"Hopefully, because we'll be like G.I. Joe in this bitch."

He laughs, "Told you it was a cult."

"Maybe you were right..."

I take his hand, "Let's get back."

June 2040

We arrive in his room again, and I lay on the bed.

He lays next to me, "So that was a bust..."

I turn to face him, "You know, I really thought Terra would be a little reasonable. She just seemed so..."

"Loyal to the precious cause?," he says, all posh.

I giggle, "Yeah, actually. Maybe she has a personal connection to the idea. Or she just has so much compassion for others? Something."

"Maybe if we figure it out, we can exploit that," he says bluntly.

Shocked, I turn sharply to him.

"In the most respectful way possible," he tries to clean it up.

"Mmhmm. You might be on to something. If we can figure out why she's holding on so tightly to this, we can convince her that there's a better way for society to carry on."

"Her responses sounded so rehearsed. Maybe she signed a contract? We need to go back. Tomorrow?" he asks.

I nod. Tomorrow.

Then there's a loud bang at the door.