f o r t y - o n e : realism

2024

"AAHHH!" I scream.

Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me this would be so painful? I grab onto one of the nurses. "Help me!"

She stammers, "Ma'am, as I've told you, there's nothing more I can do. You already took an epidural. If I give you any more medicine, your life will be at risk," she says matter of factly.

Fuck her. Fuck this. I'm in a random building in the middle of nowhere, pushing a baby through a keyhole. Fuck Harry.

Fuck this country. Tears are streaming through my ears and the only support I have is from my assistant--and that's because I threatened his job. I have to give birth in this remote location so that no one knows I've gotten pregnant. Even though technically we've reformed, getting knocked up is not a good look for me as president--the first female president of the United States. No one will know about this--no one.

"AAHH!" I let out a short shriek.

"He's coming down," that bitch nurse says lowly.

"Coming down?!" I shout. Then I think for a moment, "He? They never told me about a he. I thought I was having a girl."

She turns the monitor toward me, "You see that right there?" she points.

I nod in acknowledgement. So, I'm having a boy. What am I going to do with a boy?

Then I pipe up again. It's so agonizingly painful. I don't even want to exist anymore. Let them pick someone else to lead. I can't take this.

"Ok, ok here we go. You're 10 centimeters dilated. PUSH!"

I let out the longest shriek, "AAAAHAHAAAA!"

I wince for what feels like years, then finally, a cry.

"Ohohohhh," the doctor and nurse coo as they hold the baby. "Do you want to hold him?" they look at me.

I don't know what to say. If I decline, I'm a heartless bitch. What mother doesn't want to hold her child? If I accept, I'll get too attached.

I look from the nurse to the doctor, then back again. "Yes please."

I look down at his wrinkled face. Man, babies are ugly. This baby is special, though, because he's mine--isn't that what all mothers say? I don't know. I don't feel that special feeling that's supposed to make me want to cherish this lump of life forever. All I can think about is how much support we're getting from the public or the bills that I'm supposed to be signing on. They think I'm on vacation, that I'm a slacker, I'm sure. Being a woman doesn't help--I have my doubters. I even had to gain weight to put people off the fact that I was pregnant. I remember Harry asking me if I'd had a BBL one time.

"You okay?" the nurse asks, walking slowly toward me.

"Yeah." I've just realized that my subtle smile turned into a scowl.

"Ca-Can you take him?" I stutter. "I need to use the bathroom."

"He-Hey. Settle down. Did you forget that you're hooked up to a catheter?" she points.

Shit.

"Oh," I fake a sigh of relief.

Then, hours later, when the lights are all turned off and the medical professionals (who all signed NDAs, by the way) leave, I can take a deep breath.

A breath from so far inside me, I can feel my organs shift, just like they did hours ago. I've made my final decision.

"Hayden," I call. "Hay-Hayden."

My assistant enters from the other room. "Take him," I point.

"Th-The baby?"

I nod yes, "Just make sure he has a good home. I'm taking the jet back to the White House."

He makes a solemn face, but ultimately he nods. He knows not to question me. And what I'm doing is for the best.

June 2040

Kara's POV:

We both charge down the stairs to see three worried faces--those bitches.

"Why are you guys here? How did you even know how to get here?" I ask pointedly.

They practically burst in, passing Shawn and I, and making themselves at home.

What the hell? Shawn looks at me with a look, conveying that same thought.

Quickly, I pull my hand out of his. Subconsciously, he grabbed my hand as we opened the door. Can't have them getting the wrong ideas.

"Uh," Tiana stammers.

"Figures," Shawn mutters.

He crosses his arms, "What do you three want? You're breaking and entering."

Normally I would cut in, because we were all so close, but fuck them. I mentally shrug.

"You opened the door," Kaylynn says flatly, turning to me with a sympathetic smile. I straighten, revealing no emotion.

"Against my will," he says smugly, turning to me as well. I guess he's waiting for my approval to kick them out.

"Uh," I say lowly.

"We want to talk to her in private," Tiana says.

Before Shawn can cut in, the three of them pull me out, closing the door behind us.

"What the fuck?" I exclaim.

"Sorry we interrupted your makeout sesh, but this is important," Tiana sneers.

"We weren't making out," I blurt. Not only, at least.

"Very convincing," she says.

I turn sharply to Kaylynn and Lisa, "Anything you two would like to say?"

Lisa shakes and lowers her head slowly. I almost feel bad for snapping at her. I know that if she did help keep the secret about Jack or how the rumor spread... whatever, it likely wasn't her idea. She usually wants to stay the hell away from drama... maybe Tiana lied about her knowing this whole time. I still can't stop thinking about that day she and Kaylynn said Jack was gay. Did they know all along?

"Did you know about the reality behind that nasty rumor?" I ask pointedly.

Kaylynn looks from me to Tiana, and that confirms it.

"Okay," I nod, "Goodbye," I turn to the front door.

"Wait. There's something more pressing than a stupid rumor, Kar," Kaylynn says suddenly.

"More pressing than your betrayal or the fact that you pretended to be my bestfriend?!" I seethe. "I fucking despise you all for making me question myself and the last decade or so when I thought I knew you. Tiana," I point, inching closer toward her, "you hurt me the worse because I thought you were still you under all the makeup and popularity... I really did."

At this point, I'm fighting to keep the tears back. I hate crying--it shows weakness. Although I'm learning to become one with vulnerability, this is not the time. I'm just plain pissed off, and my body decides to respond this way.

"Please, the girl who gets everything is having a tantrum," Tiana rolls her eyes.

It takes everything in me not to pluck those lifeless eyeballs out of her face.

"You think I get everything?" I ask with a calmness that even scares me. I'm so taken back by her comment. Everything... everything... whatever could this bitch be talking about? Then I remember how Shawn said she could be jealous. Why the fuck would she be jealous of me? Tiana supposedly has it all: beauty, status, friends who'd do anything for her, oh, and a tendency to backstab said friends.

Suddenly, it hits me.

I look down in thought, "Oh shit. You're in love with Jack," I say with a straight face. I want to see this bitch's reaction.

She just tucks her top lip between her teeth and keeps her arms folded. I could kill this bitch. I know that I generally have some *mild* anger issues, but right now I could commit murder.

I sigh. What more could I expect?

Lisa blurts, "I'm just going to tell her."

"Lis," Kaylynn warns.

"No," she affirms, "No matter how pissed she is, she needs to hear this."

She turns sharply to stop me from entering the house, "That guy--"

"Shawn," I interject.

"Shawn is an anti-New World supporter," she whispers. What did she think? That he would try to kill us or kidnap us for talking about it? I only know of one group that does this...

I don't give her a reaction.

"He's part of a group that wants to overthrow the government and put men in power, Kara. He's dangerous, and you need to--"

If the quiet one's talking, they must really be afraid.

"You shouldn't make allegations like that," I cut her off.

Finally entering and closing the door behind me, despite their objections, I'm met with an empty room.

I go up to his room, just in case he went there... empty.

While slowly returning to the first level, I see him at the base of the staircase.

I almost jump at the sight.

"Woah, you okay?"

"Yeah, I was just looking for you."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you lived here and I was the intruder," he laughs, "Why do you look so scared? Did they say something?" his face darkens.

Immediately, I fall into his arms, letting out all my pent up emotions. He wraps his arms around me, a sobbing mess, and caresses my head.

He stops laughing as well, pressing his chin onto my head.

When I say I don't like crying, I mean in front of everyone, but Shawn just... I can handle him seeing me this way... unfortunately for him.

Eventually, we end up on the couch, with him comforting me through the wave of emotion that, up until now, I've kept at bay.

"What happened?" he whispers.

I just sob harder, thinking about the hurt that I've masked with anger.

I look up after a few seconds, "Tiana definitely read your diary, and they know."

"They know know?"

"They know," I emphasize.

"Okay, but why are you sobbing? Something that trivial doesn't matter. We're steps ahead of them. Don't worry."

"It's not that," I sniff.

Wiping my eyes, I say, "They're my friends, and they couldn't even apologize. They--"

He sighs.

I roll my eyes, "And now you think I'm ridiculous because I care. Well, tough shit, I have feelings. I just thought they would have some part of them that could... whatever."

"I don't think that. I think that you have me. You're the closest friendly or romantic relationship I've ever had. You don't see any of my so-called school friends hanging around. I don't even talk to them about half the things I talk to you about. Some relationships weren't meant to be. And it hurts more to watch you beat yourself up over relationships that you didn't ruin, so if I see you getting on yourself again... I swear," he finishes.

"You swear what?" I pry. He won't do anything.

"You'll see," he says mysteriously.

Then he pats his thigh, "While you were looking upstairs, I seasoned some chicken. It's in the oven," he points.

Is he real?

I look like I've been starved for days as I gulp down the delicious food.

Once I realize my savagery, I pause, "I am so hungry right now. Not apologizing for my animalistic tendencies, but I am explaining."

Then I go back into the plate. From the corner of my eyes, I see him smirk. I was serious...

After I've cleaned my plate, I straighten, "Have you ever thought of getting married?"

He swallows, "Not really," he says lowly.

Then he thinks for a while, "Well, I remember looking at married couples and their children, and just thinking 'I wish I could have that.' Just the security of having two stable parents and siblings--a happy life overall," he finishes.

"But, theoretically, being chained to one person until you decide to legally split your assets--including the children--among each other has not been on my bucket list. No," he chuckles lightly.

That kind of rubbed me wrong... chained?

"Sounds like you've thought a lot about it..." I murmur. "Does everything have to be pessimistic in your eyes?"

"It's not pessimistic, it's realistic," he states. Then he looks back down at his plate, poking mindlessly at his food.

There's only one single rice grain left.

"Realism is overrated."

He chuckles, "I'm glad that your upbringing has led you to be able to have a positive mindset, though."

Yeah...

I clean the plates, just to be a little unconventional. After that, we both meet in his room.

"I didn't bring any clothes..." I say.

"You won't need any," he smirks.

I roll my eyes and give him an unimpressed expression.

"Fine. Here," he passes me a t-shirt and shorts. "Please don't kill me with that glare," he feigns innocence.

After showering, I lay down next to him. I really want him to abandon his pessimism for good, and to realize that not everything has to end. He can't look at things like--

"What are you thinking about?" he asks lowly.

"Uh nothing," I lie.

"Sure?"

"Yep. I think we should leave at 7am for that lab in 2017," I change the subject. "It would give us time to quickly get her on our side and I can get home before my mom gets suspicious," I smile nervously.

He nods, "Sounds like a plan."

~The next morning~

"Here. Potassium's good for a world takeover," he passes me the yellow fruit.

I smile, "Hell yeah."

He flips the remote out of his pocket and launches us into the past.

March 2017

We arrive in the family bathroom this time.

"This could potentially be dangerous. What if we just appeared in front of a crowd or something--then we'd be fucked."

He clutches the remote, "Maybe there's some type of technology that makes sure we end up some place safe," he shrugs.

"We can't take that chance. Maybe there's a way to specify where in the building we want to be."

Surely enough, there was a 'specific location' tab. Thank you, oblivious scientists.

We exit the room, one-by-one, to avoid suspicion. The hallway's pretty much empty anyway.

It's the next day, and Terra will remember us. We need to convince her of our wisdom, not scare her away.

Then suddenly, a brown-skinned woman with long curly tresses greets us outside the main lab.

"Mom?" I whisper.